my dirty friend doesnt like to shower.

@anNiTa (126)
United States
October 19, 2010 4:44pm CST
Help me mylot, for the last two a friend of mine has been staying with me... we've been friends for a long time and she's been going through a rough patch... so i offered my home for the meanwhile. Recently i have noticed that she DOESNT SHOWER! YUP, i've kept track and i've only seen her hit the shower like once a week!!! ewww!she keeps her bottle of shampoo and conditioner in the restroom but shes been on the same bottle the entire time she's been here! I brought it up once and she seemed upset since i told her straight out, not sure if so much because she was embarrassed. When shes about to go out she doesnt bath she only changes her clothes and sometimes she'll repeat an outfit, dirty one too! She smells funky and i've brought that up aswell, but now she wont even speak to me!! and even moving out! aint that some Sh%$! You know everyone is guilty of perhaps skipping a shower here and there but 'cmon. It is what it is, this girl is dirty! I dont see her the same anymore, i dont even want to be friends or linked with someone like this, who knew huh?
6 responses
@Lore2009 (7388)
• United States
19 Oct 10
What was her reason for it? Some people don't for many personal reasons such as culture or illness.
@anNiTa (126)
• United States
19 Oct 10
well we share the same culture and i know its not that... she's always been a little sloppy but i just was like that untill we began living together.
@jazzsue58 (2668)
22 Oct 10
Illness is acceptable - culture isn't. Not unless you plan on growing it on an agar plate.
@Lore2009 (7388)
• United States
24 Oct 10
you mean growing your hygiene?
20 Oct 10
if you are really ready to leave your friendship over a small fight than there is nothing to more say... but you want that not to happen than you must try to convince her to take a shower..... friends do sometime annoy a lot but to endure it would be ones greatest achievement...and with this a long lasting friendship is sure.......so try being polite to her...I'm sure you can win over her by politeness.......good luck.
@anNiTa (126)
• United States
21 Oct 10
i understand what youre telling me and agree, yet, it does bother me that she took this to the heart. At least i pulled her to the side and told her what i noticed. now, her ignoring me and not talking to me bothers. i known her forever and its not like im making this up!
@jazzsue58 (2668)
22 Oct 10
My dear, sh'e embarrassed, clear and simple. We always are when the truth hits us in the face. Deep down, she knows she's causing offence but the fact she's cold shouldering you means she took it to heart. First step to sorting it out. Now I'll tell you what you'll see - small, some might say microscopic changes. She doesn't want you to think she's acting on your words so it won't be an overnight transformation, but subtly she'll start to tow the line. An occasional positive, but subtle comment from you will help a lot in healing the rift.
@gaiza12 (4889)
• Philippines
19 Oct 10
Oh i really understand how you are feeling now. I worked before in a flat where some employees stay in the other rooms. One co-worker of mine really don't take a bath. And when i ask him why he doesn't he just said he doesn't need a bath and that he only takes a bath ones a month! You friend is much ok than my co-worker..believe me he really don't smell good. And he changes his clothes like 5-7days. And he doesn't know how to wash his clothes. I think we can't really change these people not unless they themselves will be able to smell their own odor.
@anNiTa (126)
• United States
19 Oct 10
Thank your for your response, and i do believe that they cant smell their own odor, ppl like this become immune to the their smell.
@gaiza12 (4889)
• Philippines
20 Oct 10
lol..maybe they really are immune to their smell that's why they don't shower anymore.
@jazzsue58 (2668)
19 Oct 10
Did she used to be well groomed? If so, it may be she's suffering from clinical depression in which case she's in a hole and will only get out of it with counselling and meds. Just cos she goes out doesn't mean she's not depressed. When I was at my worst I went to every jazz gig and karaoke nite going. Then again I was escaping my moods and going out meant major bathtime and hairwash soooo .... maybe she is just lazy ....
@anNiTa (126)
• United States
19 Oct 10
Thank you for your input, and now that you mention it, perhaps it is that she's feeling blue... how can you approach this though, should i just ask her straight out? Although, its kinda hard now cus, she seems upset now...she wont even talk to me since the last time i brought up.
@jazzsue58 (2668)
22 Oct 10
Tricky. You could maybe try leaving a few magazines with depression articles in, casually lying about the place. Or maybe try a psychological approach, something like: "I really was going to go out tonight, but somehow I can't be bothered. God, I feel depressed just lately." She might open up to you then. I know you're not REALLY depressed but boy, you will be if this goes on.
@careguarden (5674)
• Philippines
20 Oct 10
Well annita maybe that's her life. some people are like that just like my grandfather. He even don't care to wash his hands, because he is afraid of water. He said no person getting ill just because they don;t take a bath. It is good for you to tell the truth to your friend so that she can realize how dirty she was even though you hurt her feelings , still you were the nicest friend . Because true friend told us the truth even if it hurts. don't feel guilty. its right.
@mlhervas (482)
• Philippines
20 Oct 10
Maybe she is going some sort of depression with what she has been through. As a friend you should also try to consider her feelings when advising her about hygiene or something personal. Try to be more sensitive with your friend's feelings. Talk to her in more a subtle way. It is in this time that your friend really needs someone who can understand her more rather than judge her swiftly.
@anNiTa (126)
• United States
21 Oct 10
i dont believe i am judging her because, i brought it up to her attention. i have told her, because i know other will notice the odor aswell. specially when she has company. I do agree that at times i dont tend to be sensitive, yet that is one of my unique characteristic. i like my friends to be up front with me...if not who will? i figure that instead of going behind her and judging her i'd rather bring it up, but now it seems like i'm the mean one.