what to do with my mama's boy, my son doesnt stop crying.

@anNiTa (126)
United States
October 22, 2010 7:24pm CST
im having a very dificult time with my son. he only wants to be with me and crys and crys if i dont hold him. if anyone one else holds him he'll cry nonstop, and it all ends once i have him in my arms. he is 8 months old now, so he's getting quite heavy, and its hard to get things done with him crying all the time. i know every child is different, but my daughter was nothing like this. she was much more independent and enjoyed the playpen. what is the best way to break this behavoir? i love my son but i need a break from him too. please help.
1 person likes this
8 responses
@barehugs (8986)
• Canada
23 Oct 10
Of course he wants your complete attention.He has always had it, and has learned that he can still get it, by crying whenever he is put down. Now that we know whats going on in his head we can do something about it. You will have to harden your heart and let him cry. Remember that crying incessantly is almost as hard on him as it is on you. Place him in the playpen, and show him some toys, make sure he is comfortable, and turn on the radio or TV. It will be hard to listen to him crying, but he will stop eventually. Try to establish a daily routine, and stick with it. Show him that you are his Mother (not his slave)and play the part. He will learn to laugh and play, when he finds out that he cannot run your life!
@anNiTa (126)
• United States
24 Oct 10
i appreciate your advise and will definately put this into play.
@shia88 (4582)
• Malaysia
23 Oct 10
Hi, I can understand how stressful you are with your son always stick to you. You can slowly let him go around inside the house and play himself. Get him some colourful toys or some educational vcd like Barney for him to watch for about half an hour,at least he is occupied with something else and you can do your own stuff. I guess your son is asking for your attention,but then it is impossible for you to carry him and stick to him all the time. Is there other people at home with you? Then you can get some helper from your relative or close friend to come over to your house and at least, your son got chance to interact with others.
@anNiTa (126)
• United States
24 Oct 10
as a matter of fact, i do have my bother come and help me with my son. He'll stop crying but will just glanze at me and follow me around with he look. and i just end up holding him myself. but you are right its time to take action, this turns out to be very exhausting.
• Canada
23 Oct 10
This is the kind of thing you need to approach gradually. Try spending a few days where you stay by his side, but don't hold him. You can play with toys with him, talk to him, sing to him, even lay down beside him and cuddle him, but don't pick him up (unless you need to move him to another room or something) no matter what. Even if he cries the whole day, he will not feel abandoned, because you will be right there. When he grows comfortable with that, try moving farther away, for longer periods, but within site of him at all times. For instance, him in the high school while you do dishes or eat lunch, etc. He may cry at first during these transitions, but don't go back to holding him. Even if you have to keep going to another room to lie down beside him and cuddle, don't hold him. Eventually, you should be able to leave the room now and then without a meltdown! At the same time, try to get him used to being held by someone else, with you very close by. Praise him every second he is in someone else's arms. When he can be held by someone else without crying while you are there, gradually move farther away. This will take a lot of time and effort, but will work eventually, if you take small steps and stay strong! Good luck!
@anNiTa (126)
• United States
24 Oct 10
i will definately take your advise into consideration, i find it very helpful.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
5 Nov 10
This is not a behavior that is going to be able to be rectified over night. It took a period of time for this behavior to grow into your son and it is going to take a while to grow out of this kind of dependence. That said, what you should do to start changing it is to leave him with someone else for a short period of time and gradually start increasing the length and frequency of these kinds of separations. As your son sees that you always return he will start to realize that you always come back and a little bit of the attachment will end.
@maximax8 (28559)
• United Kingdom
24 Oct 10
Your son is just eight months old so maybe he is wants the comfort of being in his mother's arms. This isn't possible and he needs to gain more independence gradually over a period of time. He needs to know that you are still there but other things matter to you as well. You could begin by putting him in his playpen with you next to him for support for two minutes on Monday, three minutes on Tuesday, five minutes on Wednesday, seven minutes on Thursday and ten minutes on Friday. When friends visit you could sit him on their lap for a short length of time and let him see you are next to him. At the moment it is best you do housework when he sleeps. I suggest you have five toy boxes and have one a out a day for him to look at. Then it will keep his interests up. Toys could be soft building bricks, some rattles, a soft colorful ball, some plastic rings and some soft toys suitable for babies. My toddler son is now three years old and he is unable to walk. I think you can imagine how heavy he is. Over the next year your son will become lots more independent with your patience and understanding I think.
• India
23 Oct 10
this is normal behaviour for a child he will get over with and every child is diff then each other as far as his crying is consern try making him play with his sister this can b done and boys r too much attached withtheir motrher then girls this si a coman facktor
• Philippines
23 Oct 10
I actually understand your situation.. Been there before.. I guess you might want to try to expose him to things like toys.. or other person and games he would enjoy.. but do it slowly.. try to give him at least a week to adjust. My son now 1 year and a half, he's still sometimes like that but we were able to manage it. Good luck!
• Philippines
23 Oct 10
It is like that with some babies as per my observation. It is okay to let him cry to show him that he must learn not to be carried all the time during the day since that would help his lungs to be healthy.But during the night he might get tummy aches from constant crying. The child knows at that age knows that his crying can make you carry him.