When you are down and everything goes wrong for you, how do you cope?

@devijay78 (1575)
India
October 24, 2010 2:20pm CST
Everyone have their bad days or bad time. It might be for just a few hours or last even years together. How do you keep the faith and go on? From where do you find strength to go on? And who helps you come out of your problems or who is your inspiration or who gives you a helping hand? What makes you keep going? For me, now it is my daughter who is my life. I am nothing without her and am scared to even think of a day when she would not be here with me. Her thought helps me get out of the endless problems I face at times.
5 people like this
22 responses
@Porcospino (16522)
• Denmark
24 Oct 10
When I experience problems and when I go through bad periods in my life my husband is always there for me and I really appreciate the fact that he is ready to listen and ready to help me. When he needs help or support I do the same for him, and we help eachother other cope with the problems that we meet. When I am depressed I also like to write in my diary. I write about my thoguhts and my feelings and sometimes it is a help for me to write everything down, and it helps me see things in a different perspective. I have a collection of quotes that I like to read when I am depressed, and sometimes that helps me focus on the positives things.
3 people like this
@devijay78 (1575)
• India
25 Oct 10
You are lucky to have your husband's support and love. God bless both of you. I had the habit of writing in my diary when I was in my teens. But I left that habit later on in life. And I guess we both have the same taste. I read quotes too when I am depressed. These are either written by famous personalities or unknown persons. I even read religious books to know why all this is happening to me and to help me find peace within. Good day.
1 person likes this
24 Oct 10
I just keep hold of the thought that things will get better, I always try to think positive. My sister also has a baby girl that makes me smile when I just think of her, she truely is the most cute baby ever. She keeps me smiling!
2 people like this
@devijay78 (1575)
• India
25 Oct 10
Yes. I know how it feels to have a baby at home and thinking of him/her would definitely take us out of our foul mood. But when I used to be mad or depressed, thinking positive was very difficult for me. I drowned in that and it was very hard for me to come out. This was before my daughter. Now everything is different thanks to her. I live for her. And I keep thinking too that things will get better.
1 person likes this
26 Oct 10
Believe me I know its hard thinking positive when you have depression, I had for a few years and everything seems so hard, so difficult, and thinking positive is something that I didnt know how to do. Ive managed to beat and havent had it for a few years now, I hope you have managed to beat it too, you now have your precious girl to remind you how good things can be! Things will get better, it can take time but dont worry you will get there!
@devijay78 (1575)
• India
27 Oct 10
I have beaten it and now I look forward to living a normal and happy life. I do have my share of problems even now, but I am able to handle things differently than when I was in those black days. Life is good now. (I made it good for myself)
@fannitia (2170)
• Bulgaria
24 Oct 10
Hi, Devijay78, if I copy/paste the last paragraph of your question - that would be my answer. I would say though that I wait the moment when my 24 years old daughter will begin her own happy life. But I'm not a very strong person. When I was young I used to fall easily into despair. When things were too bad I consoled myself think that maybe this was the worst moment and I should have better days ahead. Since I had my daughter I can't afford to fall down and sometimes I find unexpected strength to cope with the problems.
@devijay78 (1575)
• India
25 Oct 10
We all need something to hold on to in life and keep us going even when we despair, dont we fannitia. It is different for every person. For me and you, it is our daughters. For others it might be work, for some, it might be money, for some it might be something else. You are right in this case. I faced a lot of problems but even though I thought of giving up the fight, what kept me going was my daughter and her sweet smile. I did not want to spoil things for her and give her a weak mommy. And thinking about her in all things I do gives me the strength to fight back and not get depressed.
1 person likes this
@creyos (276)
• Indonesia
24 Oct 10
I was once deeply down and tried to get over it really hard for quiet a long time. There's a lot of people surrounded me at that time, gave me advices, prepare a shoulder to cry on, etc. However, I can't really get out and move on with my life, all of the supports just kept me standing still. Therefore for me, at that time and after, to really leave and walk away from my problem should be come from myself and God. I will give myself a time to be sad, a time to find out the answer and solution, and a time to learn the lesson while in the mean time, I will keep praying to God. And I also keep saying my magical words to myself to get my spirits back everytime I suddenly felt down, "Just do whatever my best can do, and let's God does the rest". :)
2 people like this
@devijay78 (1575)
• India
25 Oct 10
What you say is true. For some even though they receive a lot of support from people close to them, they always have to find ways and means of getting out of the mess themselves. I am one such person and even though there are people to support me, I dont find their help much helpful. I learnt that after suffering too much and now I think like you. I will give my best and let god do the rest.
1 person likes this
• India
24 Oct 10
even i live for my daughter and i too have bad days in life every year there is a time which is hevy for me in terms to helth that weak all family members cumpppplain about bad helth or some one is struck with some seviour problam dont know that m superstisious but this is what i feel like
2 people like this
@devijay78 (1575)
• India
25 Oct 10
That happens to everyone dheerajlko. It so happens that whenever something is not right for one person, it happens to everyone in the family. It is like happiness or sadness, they come as a group. Right?
1 person likes this
@TeamCholent (2843)
• United States
24 Oct 10
We all go through tough patches in life but yet somehow we manage to overcome them and we grow from them into a stronger person. What I would suggest (something I do when I am down) is to try and forget the reason fro your sadness for just 15 mins. Use those 15 mins to focus on all the positive things going on in your life. No matter how bad it gets there are people out there that have it far worse and you will overcome this.
2 people like this
@devijay78 (1575)
• India
25 Oct 10
You are so lucky that you could forget your problem for that long. Sometimes when I am in a real mess, I do not forget it for even a single second and believe me, I have been in such a state for months together! I know that people have it worse than me but when I am depressed it goes so bad that thinking about others is impossible for me. But nowadays, I do not take things very seriously and have learnt to take life easy.
1 person likes this
@2EarnMoney2 (1163)
• United States
24 Oct 10
For me it's knowing no one can predict the future and I have the power to change it. When I just need to relax lately online I've been watching video's online and reading "neat" stories @ Neatorama. It's just a ongoing collection of neat and weird things from around the web.
2 people like this
@devijay78 (1575)
• India
25 Oct 10
That is a good way to relax. Nowadays I log into mylot and start answering to discussions which definitely changes my mood. I do forget what I was so upset about.
1 person likes this
@sjlskl (3384)
• Singapore
24 Oct 10
When I am having my bad days, I will just make sure that I stand firm on my feet. I will tell myself that such days will be over and when it is, all will be good and fine again.
2 people like this
@devijay78 (1575)
• India
25 Oct 10
That is something we all need to do, isnt it? Standing firmly on our feet. I sometimes get carried away and loose sight of what is happening around me. It takes some time for me to come to normal. But that does not happen anymore.
1 person likes this
@tomitomi (5441)
• Singapore
25 Oct 10
Hi devijay! I'm used to write things down. In this way I get to see them better. It's not that there are always solutions by doing this but it simply makes every problem easier seen. Identifying any problem is the first step in solving it. I must say too that my family has been a great source of help when things are down besides the prayers and our faith.
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
25 Oct 10
I try to find something happy and positive to get rid of the negative feelings. feeling down is not good for the soul. Coping when you feel down is something that needs lifted back up so it does not bury your heart.
@devijay78 (1575)
• India
26 Oct 10
That is why I loose my bad mood when I am with my daughter. I do things with her and take her out sometimes so that both of us feel good and happy.
@RONDOLAWE (776)
• Indonesia
25 Oct 10
for me is bad day or bad time is only for make strong my faith and will think positif always even if the bad day come just not for all time GOD GIVE US TEST FOR ALL MANKIND IN THIS WORLD and tomorrow will be great time for we all and nice day forever
@devijay78 (1575)
• India
26 Oct 10
Wow. You sound like how they teach in my place. They say in my relegion that god will test your strength and your will power to stay on the right path and then shower you with blessings and a good life. May your faith grow. Good day.
• Thailand
25 Oct 10
I'm a self-sufficiency person. In my life, I always face with difficulties by myself. however, at once there're miscarriages, I usually think of my family and my loved ones to strengthen myself. they are belief as well as balsam.
1 person likes this
@devijay78 (1575)
• India
26 Oct 10
Good for you that you are self sufficient. Most of us are not, you know? But yes, family does play an important role in our lives and it is a great source of strength and inspiration.
• Philippines
25 Oct 10
i just let it pass out....generally i eat food...it takes away the bad aura or negative energy surrounding me...i also listen to some music but the louder the better...i then look up the sky watch some cloud patterns if its on daytime or else gaze at the stars during nighttimes.....sometimes i talk to my dog or hug my lil sister.....but if these doesnt work ill cry it all out and write what i feel on a piece of paper
1 person likes this
@devijay78 (1575)
• India
25 Oct 10
Seems like you have everything in control. Most of the time I lash out at my family and regret it later. I used to cry a lot, a lot in fact, but now I have found the strength to cope with every problem which comes my way. Thanks for the post and welcome to mylot.
@bounce58 (17524)
• Canada
25 Oct 10
Similarly, I see it in the face of my four-year old son. I could have the most cr@ppy day, and get home tired, and irritated, and sometimes lashing out to them, yet he continuous with his merry ways as if everything is alright in the world. His innocence is infectious, and his laughter takes away whatever pain I have in my head. Thank God for him!
1 person likes this
@devijay78 (1575)
• India
25 Oct 10
Sometimes I do the lashing out at my family too and immediately I feel sorry too. They are just concerned and I did not have to behave that way. But I am happy to have a daughter who makes me laugh and forget everything. And good that you find happiness in your innocent son's laughter. God bless you both.
@hushi22 (4941)
25 Oct 10
usually i cope up by cooking and eating. if not i listen to music and eventually end up either sleeping or writing something. =)
1 person likes this
@devijay78 (1575)
• India
25 Oct 10
Sometimes I used to cry myself to sleep. But that was long back before I found the strength to cope with all the issues bothering me. I wonder how you cook when you are upset?
@jaiho2009 (39021)
• Philippines
25 Oct 10
Everyone have their bad days or bad time. It might be for just a few hours or last even years together. i can say that everything happens with a reason. if something bad happens and it goes for months or years ,maybe because you are not doing anything to make things right. Or,things are getting worst because you are doing your best to make it right,but you just can't find the right way to correct everything. How do you keep the faith and go on? With holding on to yourself and believing in God always. Sometimes God wants us to realized things first before HE will give the right answers. Maybe God wants to tests our faith in HIM,and not to hold unto ourselves alone. And who helps you come out of your problems or who is your inspiration or who gives you a helping hand? What makes you keep going? Same thing with you,it is my kids who always give me the reason to move on,to keep going on and most of all my faith in the Lord GOD. There is always hope as long as we live. Keep holding on. After the storm,the sun will surely shines.
@devijay78 (1575)
• India
26 Oct 10
Hi jaiho2009. That was a neat answer. But I would like to say that the sun is shining for me now and hope will shine forever. But I did face enough problems for quite a long time and I guess you are correct in a way. It is just that my outlook on things were different and I did not find happiness in myself and searched for it from others, especially my family. Now I am happy with what I am and how things are shaping out. And god was the reason I have my daughter with me today to hold my hand and walk with me as I do with her. So I know for sure that God definitely helps us when we are down and it is just that we don't look up to him for guidance. I was suffering for a very long time without praying. All I did was despair. But all of it started changing when I started looking up to him and all I could see was a quiet peace and strength that I could not find anywhere else. And that helped me think clearly and tackle my problems one by one and now I am much better. And my daughter is the one who keeps me go on and is the reason for my life now. I do not know what will happen or what would have happend without her by my side. Good day.
• United States
25 Oct 10
For me its the reminder of how far I've come, from where I was that keeps me going. Most importantly though is my faith, and that no-matter what happens, it will all work out for my good in the end. It gets real hard sometimes but those two factors keep me abased through the worst.
@devijay78 (1575)
• India
26 Oct 10
Looking back on my failures makes me more depressed. But one good thing is that it has made me a stronger person and now am able to face problems with more strength and courage.
@ebuscat (5949)
• Philippines
25 Oct 10
For me I want pray to Jehovah God that he can cure my feeling because it is not good.
@devijay78 (1575)
• India
26 Oct 10
I used to pray to god for things to happen my way. But now, I just pray for him to give me strength to face the problems with courage and not break. Good day.
• India
25 Oct 10
I try for a postive outlook and think positive. My mom is my source of inspiration who has seen worst times and hearing those times from her makes me cry. Through the years I have learnt life goes on and one has to learn to accept everything if u cant change the situation.
@devijay78 (1575)
• India
26 Oct 10
I know what you are talking about funkyguy009. Sometimes parents are a huge support to us. We all come to that stage where we just start accepting everything and that life has to go on, don't we? But it took a very long time for me to understand that and that is why I have faced a lot. And lost a lot too. Now after I have learnt this lesson, it is easier for me to sail through problems and issues which some years earlier, I would have created such a big fuss. And moreover, it is called maturity and experience. Good day and happy lotting.
• India
25 Oct 10
I really don’t have a particular way of coping with bad days..as it is bad days just have no end to them and no matter how much you try, things just don’t fall in their places…even the everyday tasks get wrong. Its all the more difficult for me as I work in an office and have to be on my toes all the time..on particularly bad days, I’ve even tolerated my boss screaming at me that I don’t need to come to office tomorrow…I’ve gone to the washroom and cried my heart out and asked God as to why me??? I’ve felt many a times to just throw in my resignation on my Boss’s face but responsibilities tied me down… I feel the restroom is the best confidant for me…after a while when I’ve cried my heart out at the injustice of it all and accused God as much as it helped me to do so…I’ve calmed down and come out to face the world again. And yes, kids are a wonderful source of strength…particularly when I’ve felt like just walking out of office, my son’s face comes to my mind and I swallow my pride coz I know that the job I’m doing and the money I’m earning is all for his studies and future.
@devijay78 (1575)
• India
26 Oct 10
I know how it is when you are a working mom. Thankfully I am now a stay at home mom looking after my daughter and husband AND myself. Life is tough for people who work. They have additional issues to handle and sometimes it all gets too much, having to deal with problems at office, at home and other issues as well! Whew! Wonder how you found the strength to do it so long. When I was working, it was the restroom for most of us too. I guess we have nowhere else to go. For my husband though, I am the sounding board. Poor thing, the problems are endless for him. And I make him share his problems at office with me and sometimes give him my inputs too. My daughter is my greatest source of strength and even though, like all mothers and kids, we argue a lot(she is just three but she does argue a lot!), she is always quick to sense when something is wrong and is always there to console me or sometimes even cuddle me which makes everything fade away.