Do you torture yourself with woulda shoulda coulda?

@raydene (9875)
United States
October 24, 2010 10:04pm CST
Do you spend time thinking of the things that could have been? Did you make the correct choices? Would you change things? If so what might you do differently? I think I would not marry. I would just work and let that be my life. I think it would be much less painful. God bless R
5 people like this
15 responses
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
25 Oct 10
I would of married my 2nd hubby first then I would have had him longer than the 42 years he was with me. Not to much that I would change life goes on
2 people like this
@raydene (9875)
• United States
26 Oct 10
Hi Friend It's good to know what it is you'd change. Most of us have many small and big things that we wonder about. oxoxoxoxo R
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
26 Oct 10
that was my main one am sure there might be others just dont think of them for looking back dont know if I would have done much different. hugsssssssssssssssss
@Polly1 (12650)
• United States
25 Oct 10
Hey stranger, it sure is nice seeing you. Haven't seen you in ages. Hope things are well with you. As to your discussion, I suppose there are some things I wish I hadn't done. Mostly little things, the bigs things I am mostly glad I did. If I would have done things differently important people in my life wouldn't be here, I couldn't wish them gone.
2 people like this
@raydene (9875)
• United States
26 Oct 10
Hey Sweets Good to see you as well. I'm ok..hanging on.. although the thread feels thin most days.. I've missed you xooxxoxo R
1 person likes this
@Polly1 (12650)
• United States
26 Oct 10
Missed you too, hope you stick around awhile.
1 person likes this
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
25 Oct 10
I am constantly torturing myself with such questions to myself. Woulda, shoulda, coulda are always haunting me. i always think i was able to do something else or something better than I did. i know it won't change anything, but those voices still echo their thoughts.
@raydene (9875)
• United States
26 Oct 10
HI Hon I used to say I'd not change a thing but that was before.. Now I'd just love the chance!! xoxoxoxo R
@niairen01 (1018)
• Philippines
25 Oct 10
It's a thought, but I'd rather not go there. Or I'll end up with regret making my life miserable. I admit that there are loads of changes in my life and my life before as a teen is so much better than my life right now, well, I can do what I want when I want and where I want it! in short Freedom is the only issue for me. BUt when this kind of thoughts entered my mind, I just say to myself that I am very, very lucky that my life turns out to be this way, And I think about what I have that others don't and thank god for giving those things to me. Yes, i can just be at home all the time while my friends are enjoying beach travel and night lifes, but I enjoy taking care of my naughty little son who is the most important person to me. Yes, It could be very depressing when having a row with my husband but at least I know deep inside that he loves me and I'm not alone anymore. When those things happens to you, try to shove it off with positive thoughts. you'll learn to deal with it one step at a time.
1 person likes this
@raydene (9875)
• United States
26 Oct 10
Hi Honey What a great thought out response! You make alot of sense. xoxoxoxo R
@niairen01 (1018)
• Philippines
26 Oct 10
Thanks rating! ^.^
@niairen01 (1018)
• Philippines
26 Oct 10
Sorry.. thanks for *the Rating! I'm glad you find it helpful.
@twoey68 (13662)
• United States
26 Oct 10
I used to think like that but then I realized that what's done is done...re-thinking it or wishing it was different wouldn't change it besides no matter how bad something is, there is almost always something to be thankful for or some lesson learned. [b]**AT PEACE WITHIN** ~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~[/b]
1 person likes this
@raydene (9875)
• United States
26 Oct 10
Nice response Doll This is a good thing! Nice to see you again my friend oxxoxoxo R
@BarBaraPrz (17348)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
25 Oct 10
Woulda coulda shoulda is a rather unsatisfying game to play. How far back does one go to "right" things? Would going to the junior high directly behind my home, even though I didn't like their school color (green) instead of being bussed to another one with an "enrichment" program a couple miles away really have made any difference in my life? Probably not, as my family moved to another town 60-70 miles away over the Christmas holidays anyway.
1 person likes this
@raydene (9875)
• United States
26 Oct 10
Hi Hon I do think that the woulda coulda shouldas are a bit like backward dreams. xooxxoxo R
1 person likes this
@puccagirl (7316)
• Israel
25 Oct 10
Sometimes. But I try to avoid it, because I have learned that no good can come of it. But it is hard not to sometimes! I am getting better at it though, I think! (or hope?)
1 person likes this
@raydene (9875)
• United States
26 Oct 10
Hi Sweet I am having a hard time with some issues in my life and thought this discussin Might help me through it. Thanks for your response. xoxoxoxo R
@gabs8513 (48803)
• United Kingdom
25 Oct 10
Raydene to be honest, I do not think I would change anything even though I went through 21 Years of a bad Marriage, but I have to look at the good side, I would not have my Son and Daughter who are the World to me and I would not be what I am today a strong Person, who will not back down any more
1 person likes this
@raydene (9875)
• United States
26 Oct 10
Hello Darlin I would like to try a different road! I seem stuck right now,, Like the fly in the spider's web. No escape! lol xoxoxoxo R
@hushi22 (4941)
25 Oct 10
sometimes i think i do, but i try not to mind it that much. i learned not to stress or torture myself anymore.
1 person likes this
@raydene (9875)
• United States
26 Oct 10
Hi Honey Good answer... It doesn't really get us anywhere anyway. xooxxoxoxo R
• United States
25 Oct 10
sometimes. but just thinking about it isnt going to change anything. anytime that i think i made the wrong choices, i just take longer to make the next ones to make sure i made a good choice. but then again, sometimes taking longer doesnt always mean im going to make a good one the next go round. and even though we make choices that are good and bad, god has a reason for everything and it doent matter if you like ot or not, god intended on it to be that way
@raydene (9875)
• United States
26 Oct 10
Hello Sweets I like your attitude about this. I think you just might have something. xoxoxoxoxo R
• Canada
25 Oct 10
I aknowledge the thought just long enough to learn my lesson, then I decide that what's done is done, and get over it. If it's just a choice, where neither choice would have any consequence, I just go with my instinct, and get over it.
@raydene (9875)
• United States
26 Oct 10
Hi Doll How you been? How's the hubby? Need to catch up! lol xoxoxoxo R
@megamatt (14333)
• United States
11 Jan 11
No not really. I mean, sure I learn from my past mistakes. But that is really the extent of what I think about this. At times there might be a thought or two that crosses my head and I wonder what might have been. Still it will never have been and maybe it is not meant to be. Then I try and move onto the rest of my life. Learn from the past, but do not obsess over it, so I can build a better future. That has gotten me through many tough storms.
@Hatley (157929)
• Garden Grove, California
5 Nov 10
hi raydene. I guess its human nature to woulda , coulda , and shoulda but it does not help in anyway. I try therefore to just do the best I can and to hell with those terms.oh raydene where have you been.you were here when I started and were talking about your ex if I remember right/.Work being your life gets too sad and no it is painful. the thing we all must do is not depend on our mates to make us happy all day, this we have to do for ourselves.So I have learned not to torture myself like that. I have always been my own worst enemy. so decided to just do the best I could and if others did not like that, tough sh@t.
@winterose (39931)
• Canada
30 Oct 10
since I am a therapist by training I try not too, only new issues like a personal once I am experiencing right now, for a while until I can process it. once I have processed it it is over and done with and I don\t go back.
@whyaskq (7553)
• Singapore
27 Oct 10
Whether I have made the correct choice or not, so far I do not look back. I feel it is better to move forward once one has make a decision. Occasionally, I do ponder whether I did make the correct decision, hesitate a lit bit about moving forward. At times, I tell myself to make lemonade out of lemons. I know I can make it. I know I can do it. I know I know. It is not really painful but stressful. May God bless you :)