Do you believe that Love happens only once!

India
October 26, 2010 6:26am CST
I have a fiend who is a girl. She was in love with a guy from her neighborhood.They loved each other very much.Before six months the guy went to a different country to pursue his further studies. Though they were far away there was a regular contact between them. Yesterday she met me and said that now she is attracted towards a different guy and think that she is in love with him. She also said that this guy helped her a lot when she was lonely.Then when I asked what was the problem, she replied me that she is feeling guilty and feels that she is cheating her first lover. But though she feels guilty she accepts that now she loves this guy. So, I was really confused what to suggest her. Please friends can u suggest me what should I suggest her.Your comments will really help my friend to take a firm decision.
4 people like this
19 responses
• India
26 Oct 10
she is simply confused and needs to grow up .
1 person likes this
@tincabzh (174)
• Philippines
27 Oct 10
yes! that is right! honestly that girl doesnt know how to love and that girl is immature! she doenst know what she really wants.. what if the same situation happens? will she fall in love again with the other guy?
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Oct 10
You absolutely can fall in love more than once. If she wants to break up with the guy and date someone else, that is entirely her business and there is nothing wrong with that.
1 person likes this
• India
26 Oct 10
the ans is simple ask her to b cut off with the new guy for two weaks or so i mean cumplete isolation from him no calls no meeting then think that it was infatuation or love she would get her ans its easy to b attrackted to one person when u r lonely
1 person likes this
@jagjit273 (1740)
• India
26 Oct 10
Sweet concept,It is very hard to say and also very Hard for you to grab and understand,that your friend is not in love with any of the guys,Its Not love its just Lust,and you cannot make her understand ok,The more you say to her anything the more she will go against you, So dont say anything to her, let her do what she is doing, Live your own life. have a nice day
@angelface23 (2498)
• United States
26 Oct 10
well for me I have my 'first love' I don't think I will ever love a man the same way I loved him. I am married now to a different man and while I love him it's a different kind of love. I don't know if I will ever be in love like i was with the first guy. I think that you can find love more than once but each time it will be different. Your friend should go for this new guy why sit around and stay with someone who is far away. Long distance relationships dont' work out.
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
26 Oct 10
Love is an emotion that is all around us. i don't believe that there only has to be love one time for us. it is magical when love happens. We just expect that when love comes our way, it is forever. Sometimes we are blessed just once. other times we are blessed even more.
• Philippines
26 Oct 10
Long distance relationship is really hard, especially if one is starting to fall out of love. A person should weigh carefully who to give up, is it the one whose been miles away or the one beside her. To be fair atleast to the one whose miles away, she should be honest with him. If she can't do that now, then, atleast try not to talk to both guys for a while, to be able for her to know who she really love, who she really wants and who she is missing. Somehow it can help her decide. And no matter what her decision will be, she must discuss it to the guy. If she can't tell it personally, tell it true writing.
1 person likes this
@sharra1 (6342)
• Australia
28 Oct 10
Yes you can love more than once and you can love more than one person at the same time. Quite often the love is different. You love different people differently. She is not cheating on her first love if she has no firm committment to him. If she has decided to stay with this new man then she needs to tell her first love that she has met someone else. If she cannot break off her relationship with the first man then she will have to decide which she wants. She also needs to work out if the absence of the first man is part of the problem. Is he coming back? Were they just dating or was it more serious? Were they just friends? Men and women can be friends and some people can confuse that with love. Is she confusing gratitude for companionship with love. Women can do that. We are emotional beings and we can often confuse these emotions when young. It takes a lot of life experience to work out the difference.
@yna410 (431)
• Philippines
27 Oct 10
I don't think love happens only once though some may experience it. We may never fully understand how love works but I think we all undergo the same process, at least, of falling in love, falling out love, letting go, and finding love once more. A heart when broken can heal itself through time and be ready to open up again to others. Regarding your friend's case, it's hard to be miles away with the person she loves. Not all people can handle long distance relationship. I think she really felt the absence of the guy and may have thought that she wants someone who will be by her side, someone who is physically present. She may be battling with her emotions whether she'll follow her heart or her mind that's why she felt those kind of things. I think it's best if she will allow herself time to assess what she truly want and feels. Sometimes we need to take risks to be able to find true happiness and sometimes we need to brave to be able to make the right decisions. Whatever she decides in the end, just be the friend she needs, show your support and understanding. It really helps when we face life's challenges with our true friends. =)
@hying80 (34)
• China
27 Oct 10
i don't know how to face these problems,but i think maybe it is better to solve this problem faster than it will make more people in trouble.your friend and the two guys.
@anurag3786 (6275)
• India
27 Oct 10
Yes I believe that love happen only once. But there are also many people who say that love happen again and again. I want to say if you love someone truly then again you never want to love anybody because you loved someone truly and also you’re someone specials memories never fall you in love with someone again. And I always believe it is not love that happens again and again in a person’s life. It is only body attraction.
@mods196621 (3631)
• Philippines
27 Oct 10
She is longing for the care of his boyfriend and she feel it to her present guy. Then suddenly because she always have a contact at her present then she feel in love with him and now she is guilty because she knows that she has still with her old guy. It happens that they have a long distance relationship which is so hard to maintain if they do not sustain their love to one another. And the biggest part in this long distance relation is Trust and Love to one another. Keep on communicating and don't think that they are afar from each other. Use the new tech like webcam and phones daily and messages. Anyway we cannot point her as her fault only but let you advice her and remind her to think well of whom of the two is her true love. Even her bf was far across from her but if they love each other tightly no matter how long it was. Just give her advice and always remind her for her good.
@saqi78 (1405)
• Malaysia
27 Oct 10
True love only happens once and frankly speaking, I dont consider this thing love, this is just caring each other and satisfying the needs of each other. I think your friend does not need love, she needs a person who cares her and do things for her to satisfy her needs. If she had love with first guy she ll never be attracted by the other guy. The same applies to boys, if they think they are attracted by any other girl then this mean they are not in love, they are just passing time. I am wondering about my this generation, that they have their own idea of love, love is not so simple and weak that in one or two or three month it change its priorities, I consider this thing lust or greediness of attraction and to be attracted. If she is thinking that she is cheating the first guy then she is right and she should talk about this to the second guy also that she had already loved to another guy. The best solution is your friend should increase contact with first guy and should share and talk to him more, should remind old memories with him, I think this is the only way, the old relationship can be sustained. I think OLD IS ALWAYS GOLD so be remain with old... Have a good time...
• Philippines
27 Oct 10
if she thinks shes is already inlove with this new guy then its better that she should tell this to her long time boyfriend before he knew it to anyone.Tell him honestly what you feel,how much that guy filled your loneliness and that you already fall for this new guy.By telling him all of this you become an honest person and somehow release from all the guilt that you feel.You have to choose only one so that you will have a complete happiness i mean worry free.I know one of them will get hurt but sometime soon they will find new love that is worthy for them.
27 Oct 10
for women maybe, for men no
@yanyanyow (329)
• Philippines
27 Oct 10
long distance relationships dont work out if one of them are weak. that girl is weak so she cant handle being alone. she should tell his guy(the one studying far away from her) the truth that she is inlove with some other guy. unless she is a cheater
• United States
27 Oct 10
She need to grow up, I mean its not hard to know who you love,and who you lust for. some people just dont understand how feelings works. You just need to tell her to maker her mind up, because if she slips up she could lose both of them.
@dollar3235 (2063)
• India
26 Oct 10
Now-a-days, 99% people want to be in love to show off. Everyone wants to have a boyfriend or girlfriend just like a bike or car. This seems to be the same case, this girl had to have a boyfriend that is why she pretended to be in love with her friend, now, when he is not with her, again she is trying to have another guy with her, like a pet. Love is not something that you can think and do, it just happens, one life is not sufficient for true love. People die for love and still do not forget, however, younger generation has taken love as prestige issue, just like a bike, computer and video game, now they want a boy/girl friend. I would suggest you not to say anything to your friend, in this kind of situations people used to be sensitive and if you say anything she might feel bad. It will be better to just wait for sometime, everything will be alright. Sometimes, people do such things to get attention of their friends. Try to show as if it is common thing which happens with everyone and see how things change but make sure that you do not suggest anything to her.
@kanchan10 (2877)
• Kolkata, India
26 Oct 10
tell not to get confused and feel sorry about her first love. at least stay put in this relation. first try to be faithful and look ahed in her life. u didnot mentioned her age. if she is that young then she should not waste her time in having relations but to concentrate on her studies and career.