I screwed up bad... My girlfriend won't answer my calls or text me back!
By roxyoo7
@roxyoo7 (246)
India
October 26, 2010 2:38pm CST
Hey guys and girls.
I am in serious trouble. Two days ago (almost 3), I was talking with my girlfriend. She really trusts me everything. So she found out that she won't get her scholarship, but she needs scholarship, because her family isn't exactly rich, if you know what I mean. So her friend contacted me via Facebook and asked about me and her. Nothing unusual. And then asked me, why is she in such a bad mood today, so I told her about the scholarship. Then my girlfriend asked me what I told her friend and I told her the truth. I knew I've done a mistake since she was in a bad mood and probably wouldn't say anything about scholarship to her friends, more exact - roommates. After I told her that she just asked ''Did you tell?'' and all I could say was ''Sorry.''. Then she logged off the chat. 1st day when this happened I texted her that I was really sorry. Nothing else... Yesterday I sent her two text messages and tried not to rage, and apologized and admitted that I've done a horrible mistake. I've also called her seven times in the last two days, although I knew that she wouldn't answer.
She says that she loves me... Or at least that's what she said before. I am really scared, that she'll leave me or ignore me forever. Although, all this may sound pathetic. I've already wanted to go to her house and apologize in person and then leave. I really want to apologize. I don't know if she'll give me a chance. The problem is I can hardly visit her at her home, because we live quite far away from each other. I could go by train, but there's also college that we both have to worry about. We're both 18. Both scorpions, born in November. That explains her stubborn behavior and the lack of chances that she'll forgive me. We've been together before and just decided to start to date again, because we just love each other too much... But this wasn't such a good start wasn't it?
I would really like to hear any opinions/advices. I love her so bad (sorry for the drama-queening) and want to win her and her trust back. Just please don't give ''dump her'' or ''forget about her, you're far away from each other anyway''. I want an advice either to leave her alone, or to go to her home and apologize in person or to email her... whatever. I just want her back so bad and would do pretty much anything. But I rather ask you what to do first, so I won't really bring our relationship down to dust, because I'd do/say the wrong thing (again).
Thank you in advance for any kind, useful replies.
Regards
2 people like this
17 responses
@strawberrychocodahi (4818)
• Philippines
27 Oct 10
Saying your sorry is good but make it really sincere. To go to her place is also a nice way that shows you give effort to the relationship as you go through difficult times like this when you two have misunderstanding.
Just tell her how much you love her and how sorry you are. It will be up to her if she really understand and forgives you too since I do hope she loves you also and not just pride that gets in the way to destroy such good relationship.
Don't take it for so long, act now and be honest with what you said and say sorry. Hope this works well.
1 person likes this
@tincabzh (173)
• Philippines
27 Oct 10
I think it sounds immature just to ignore someone just because of it!
I knew that its kinda embarrassing to let other people know that you fail on
something you are expecting much!
but its not right to ignore you like forever..
will she just tell whats wrong and talk about it,
grew up and get over it and think of a possible solution,
instead of crying over the spilled milk, why not try to look for student loan instead? or better yet be a working student, there are lots of things
to think of instead of just because you blunt out that she fail,
what if that person can help her? right? grew up!
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (72285)
• Philippines
27 Oct 10
I think what you did was not a grave offense at all. I think she's just too depressed with the result of the scholarship. She wanted you to be there and what you did made her feel that you were mocking her instead of supporting her. But I believe that if she really loves you, she will come back into your arms again. Just be patient, she needs time to be alone and to solve her own dilemma. You've already apologized but her mind right now is not at ease. YOu should wait for the proper timing when this phase of her life has already past and you can just tell her how you love her.
1 person likes this
@akari77 (123)
• Philippines
27 Oct 10
It's just but normal for you guys to act that way. Stop being afraid 'coz both of you are so young. You still have many more years to develop and prove your feelings for each other and change doesn't happen overnight. Assess yourself. it's you who can figure out what's best thing can cheer your lady up. Just do whatever you think will be right. And don't forget to greet her on her special day. Good luck! :)
1 person likes this
@Airshippick (31)
• United States
27 Oct 10
I would give her some space to calm down. If you want to apologize, it's best to do it in person. Remember, it's easy to ignore text messages, but really hard to ignore someone standing in front of you. A gift would definitely help you here, flowers or chocolate, but then again, every girl is different.
1 person likes this
@urbandekay (18278)
•
26 Oct 10
She sounds very immature and she has no respect for you and probably for anyone else
all the best urban
@mira91 (985)
• Singapore
27 Oct 10
Okay, so you made a mistake by telling her friend something she doesn't want to be made public, and i understand her in the sense that maybe she felt embarrassed that now her roommate knows about her financial situation. Since you said she trusted you, you should have known that no one would like something like them not being able to afford education to be told to someone so lightly. Furthermore, she was already upset at not getting it, so i think maybe she felt a little betrayed, even though i gather that you didn't meant to make her feel that way. Well, since what's done is done, you should not give up and apologize to her, just keep doing it, and while you're at it, show her how sincere you are about being sorry and that you really didn't mean to offend her in any manner. Just keep on apologizing, but do it in a sincere manner. Make her a 'sorry' card? Give her a 'sorry' gift? Serenade her? I don't know. Be creative. Just show her your sincerity, and maybe just maybe, she would open up to you again. I can guarantee you that for sure of course. :) Best of luck.
@flaredust (728)
• Indonesia
27 Oct 10
Take it as a lesson for you to know more about girl's heart. Yeah, sometimes is not easy understanding what she really want. From your case, it's not easy to determine the next right step to move, you sent her message, you call her, etc... she just keep quiet in the distance. I think there's still two important option left for you... first, keep her calming down herself, because may be she really really need some time to get alone, if it's the case your appearance just causing "never ending" anger, so give her a private time, give her a space for a while. Second option is rush to her house with all cost, may be she's angry enough with you and want you to "sacrifice" for her, visiting her house that has long distance to reach may be deemed enough for her as a "sacrifice" for love.
That's just my opinion, the decision is yours to make. I know you both actually has the same mind... you're both scorpion right? So just make deep empathy, position yourself as her and try think what will you do if you got as angry as her. She's not much different from you if I can tell you 
@eurekafemme (5877)
• Philippines
27 Oct 10
Hi there.:)
Don't be so sorry. Just give her time to cool and calm down. Not being able to pass the scholarship is humiliating enough and knowing that her friends knew about it must be hurtful to her pride as well. Sad to say that you are the fall guy here. But, don' worry, she'll come to her senses that you shouldn't be blamed for this..:)
You have said sorry already and have further extend your apologies to great extent, so no need to do it repeatedly. If you really want to go to her house, then, go. Besides, this is the time when she needs your support the most. It'll give her comfort feeling you by her side (because she loves you) and your presence will be much comfort for her. If you have the means, the time to visit her at home, do not hesitate. Go pack and go there. Don't say anything. Just show up and tell her that you just want to be there for her...:)
Goodluck..:)
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
27 Oct 10
I won't exactly say she is over-reacting as she is just hurt not so much about what you said but about the whole scholarship situation. My best advice would be to give her some time. You already apologized and nothing really you can do but allow her the time, to think things through and give her one more day and try and reach her again.
If you have to say you are sorry again so be it, but really outsdie of time there is nothing else you can do. I wish you luck and the best as you sound like you really care for her and well I hope things work out.
@starlight_starbright (810)
• Philippines
27 Oct 10
Hello there...
Actually there are some women who would just want to be alone. The more you impose your self to her the more she would feel bad. Maybe she just needs time to reconcile or just want to really understand why you did that. One possible reason why she doesn't want to talk to you also is maybe she's in deep pain or worries how she would be able to surpass this kind of problem (losing her scholarship) that she doesn't want to complicate things further. I would suggest you leave her alone for a moment but just let her know that you always be there for her. Don't tell her non sense since it wouldn't be helpful. Knowing you're sorry would not make feel better realizing that what you just told her friend was true. Furthermore, knowing that your relationship with her was affected by her problem makes her feel more miserable. Wait for her to cool down. You'll see, everything will be alright. Just give her time. ^_^
@existwithme (122)
• United States
26 Oct 10
I do believe she is over reacting. I think a simple " I do not believe you should have done that because.." would have done it.
I think her not getting the scholarship might have embarrassed her because one she does not have the money to pay for school, second because she did not get it.
So I understand where she is coming from, but I don't believe she needs to stay mad at you.
I think she might be taking some of her being upset over the scholarship out on you.
If you really love this girl, I think you should call her again, if she doesn't answer leave her a message telling her that you are very sorry, and you were not trying to hurt her, you just did not want her friend to worry about her. You should tell her that you understand she why she is upset but you think she should at least talk to you about it.
After you tell her how you feel I would give her some space, if she really loves you she will talk to you.
Also, I know you love her, but be careful she does not need to take advantage of you after all you were only trying to help.
hope all works out for the best for you.
@vangie26 (445)
• Philippines
27 Oct 10
Consider that fact that she's hurt because of the scholarship, that's the reason why she felt mad at you. But things like this should only be an overnight issue in a relationship.Shouldn't you be the one a shoulder to cry on even if you spill the information to her roommate? For me, what you said to the roommate is not a big issue, anyway, it will be revealed soon if she didn't get the scholarship. Come to think of it maturely, I think there is a deeper reason why your girl is acting like that, sorry to say that. But you have to let her know that you should talk about the relationship because you can't go on like that. You have your own life. If she still resist to talk with you, well, all you have to do is accept the fact that probably she doesn't want the relationship anymore. It's not the matter of trust anymore, but the matter of continuing the relationship or not.
@snowy22315 (169893)
• United States
26 Oct 10
I think that you need to give her some space at this point and let her contact you. Let her wonder about what you are doing and thinking. I would also see if maybe a friend of hers could talk to her and tell her that you are really suffering, and didn't know you were making such a mistake. Bottomline she is going to do what she does so you will just have to wait and see what happens. I hope for your sake she forgives you.
@niairen01 (1018)
• Philippines
26 Oct 10
I do think that your GF is overreacting. Just give her some time, it'll pass.
Maybe this really means something to her, and maybe she's ashamed or embarrass to let her friend know about it. Imagine that she needed that scholarship badly and she didn't pass, that means she might not go to school since her family can't afford it anymore. that's really is a bummer.
Give her space, about one or 2 weeks leeway. No text, no calls, no nothing. but just be sure to let her know what your doing. I mean, don't just disappear. Tell her that "ok, if you don't want to talk to me yet then I'll give you time. I'll be checking back on you after a few days but please do me a favor and talk to me after you've gotten your space."
Stop acting like a love sick puppy, it tends to irritate girls more. Personally I sometimes get irritated with my husband when he continually and childishly still bothers me when I specifically told him not to. You're the guy, for crying out loud, it's nice that you love her that much, but you should sometimes get the upper hand. Stop spoiling her or you'll end up with a drama queen wife that would be a headhache forever!
Stay cool. ^.^
@fabsprecious (1565)
• United States
26 Oct 10
Personally speaking as a Scorpion myself I know how stubborn we can be and how we can react when we are upset, just give her sometime to relax, if she loves like she says she does she will definitely come around it sounds like she is venting, I know because I used to do that as well.
You also have to understand that when your girl tells you something, even if she doesn't say at the end not to mention it to know one, you always keep it to yourself. As for you, if you see that she doesn't call you back or respond to your text, if you can take the train this weekend and apologize in person. I know how us Scorpions can be. That will probably be your best approach in order to win her back. I think apologizes are always done better in person than over the phone.
