Someone has been spreading rumors that embarrass me, how I should deal with it?

Indonesia
October 27, 2010 7:10am CST
I often sitting in the library reading some books with my friends or alone in several times of week. Over one week later there is someone who spreading rumors that embarrassing me in my campus. It said that I was a G*Y and this issue cracking my relationship with my friends in campus and the woman who would be my girlfriend becomes skeptic to me. although some of my friends have been know this is just big hoax, but the news had already spread over to my faculty and it has dented my reputation in my campus in an instant. please I need some advice. How I should deal with it?
5 people like this
15 responses
• Indonesia
27 Oct 10
this is my opinion. you must proof to public you are a normal man. bring your girlfriend to your campus and sow to them you have a girlfriend, that is mean you normal. If you hard to got girlfriend on campus because the rumor, try to get girlfriend from outside, who don't know the rumor.
• Indonesia
27 Oct 10
Thanks for your suggestion.... I think if I bring fake girlfriend It would be a new trouble for this condition now. I still try to wait how that issue will work next 2 weeks.
• Indonesia
27 Oct 10
I mean a real girlfriend, fake girlfriend will give you trouble. because if they know she is fake, they will believe you not a normal guy. keep try friends, I hope you can solved your problem.
@pogi253 (1587)
• Philippines
27 Oct 10
There are some people who are prone to starting and fueling the fires of rumors. Maybe they don't really intend to be telling lies, maybe they aren't intentionally saying things to sully the reputations of others, but it doesn't matter the reason or intent behind the words that they speak to others. When rumors are started, someone is almost always going to be hurt. When a rumor is started about you, it is most likely you that is going to be hurt. However, there are ways that you can dispel rumors and quiet the deceitful, wagging tongues of those who started them. There are some rumors that aren't quite as simple to deal with. This is true when the rumor is having a broader effect on our lives, or on the lives of those that we care about. Sometimes a rumor has the power to destroy relationships, crush our dreams and goals, or cause all sorts of other heartache for us. When this is happening, our initial response may be to get angry, defensive, or to hide from the trouble that has come our way if we are the type of person who prefers to avoid confrontation at almost any cost.
• Indonesia
27 Oct 10
Actually agree with you too. The key is I have to keep calm down and doing it good for all reason. This condition will make me more mature and makes me better. Maybe I must keep up my spirit to doing something better and sided the distraction to achieve the truly goal of my life. thanks brother!
• Philippines
27 Oct 10
hello vandykusuma! it would be advisable to you if you just laugh it off and will not take the matter seriously. If ever confronted with the question, then give them a straight forward answer, with all honesty. You see, the more you will react negatively to this rumor, the more they will believe that it is true. Just laugh and shrug it off, with a sly answer that you have to taste the apple to know its sweetness not just by looking at it. if your girlfriend really loves you, then she will not believe the rumor. If you show her the love of a real man, no matter how everyone will say that you're gay or what, you would still be the man she knows you to be. Don't despair and don't let yourself be affected by this nasty rumor. The truth will set you free.
• Indonesia
27 Oct 10
Oh my goodness, your advise make me realize that negative rumors must be respond with good/ positive attitude so they will regard me as good man. Thank you so much, your advise keep me think and do it calm with a better way. I hope it'll working and thats rumors will sink by itself.
• United States
27 Oct 10
Try to find out who is spreading the lie and talk to them. Hold your head held high when your walking down the halls. These things have a way of dying down over time. I know it is horrible to go through. I would be dfferent in this situation but,your not me. Take care.
• Indonesia
27 Oct 10
thanks for your suggestion It seems hard to do it, especially for finding the person who spreading it. But at least I like your way to hold my head held high when I'm walking down the halls.
@cream97 (29169)
• United States
11 Apr 11
Hi. vandykusuma. Welcome to myLot! I would just keep on going to school and ignore them. If it gets to be a problem, you can always go to the guidance counselor and the principal with these rumors. Don't pay these people any attention. It is very obvious that they want something negative that they can talk about. It is very mean that someone finds it funny to spread a rumor about you that isn't true. People should grow up and find something better to do with their lives instead of trying to ruin others lives.
• Philippines
25 Nov 10
Well find out who's spreading it and i think its time to teach him a lesson to stop bullying you around. As long as you found out who's the one causing this trouble and trying to make fun of you and spreading rumors in the whole campus. The moment you see him slap the living hell out of him, slap him hard, slap him as many as you want and tell him to stop doing such things. And that would teach him a lesson.
• Philippines
28 Oct 10
You're in one sick situation man. Well, you better tell the higher powers in your school maybe they could help you or tell your parents and let them do the talking. You could also try to use your friends, make them assets. Make them blend into the different circles in your school and make them get much information to nail the sucker down. Bro, about this girl, if she is really into you, she won't give a rat's a** about whatever or whoever you are and she shouldn't be a problem. You have more pressing matters to tend to and this girl shouldn't be included in your problems. For what's worth, you could also pray. Vengeance it's not yours, they say, it's God's.
@hakuyo (201)
27 Oct 10
firstly, you need to find out who is spreading the rumour. I think it is going to be hard to find the person who is spreading the rumour but after this, you have to deal with him properly, no arguing whatsoever, just deal with calmly. good luck
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
27 Oct 10
Hi Vandykusuma, I don't know why people have to be so mean. For some crazy reason they get amusement out of humiliating someone else. If you are not gay then the best way to deal with it is to just ignore it. They want a reaction from you. Don't give it to them. Anyone that knows you will know that it isn't true and they are the ones that matter most. If your girl doubts you then maybe she isn't the right girl for you.
@lynnemg (4539)
• United States
27 Oct 10
I always tell my kids, if it isn't true, don'y own it. In other words, if the rumor holds no truth, don't let it bother you. Yeah, I know, easier said than done. At the very least, you should not allow others to know that it bothers you as much as it does because the more that they know it is bothering you, the more they feed off of it and keep it going. If you just turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to the ignorance of others, and they see that you are not allowing it to bother you, they will eventually stop and move on to something, or someone else. It isn't always easy to do, but my 13 year old son actually put it into practice and within a week, things were much better for him at school. Another option would be to try to talk to those who are spreading the rumor and ask them why they are doing what they are doing. Tell them that you do not appreciate their ignorance. Chances are that these people would just laugh and become even worse in this scenario. More often than not, the best response is no response because as long as they see that they are bothering you, they will keep it up. I guarantee that these people do not go home at night and think about how you are feeling, they are not bothered that you are hurt, and it will have little to no effect on their futures. The more you allow them to know you are bothered by their actions, the more they feed on it and have some sort of control over you and your life. YOu have to make the choice to not allow them to bother you because they just aren't worth your tears or anxiety. You have to take that control away from them.
@saqi78 (1405)
• Malaysia
27 Oct 10
Rumors are always there, this is just a matter of jealousy, just ignore them, your friends know much better about it, so dont be so embarrassed. Rumors dont have legs and it can easily come and easily vanish and one day every one ll find that any thing said about you was wrong. Try to focus on your studies and dont listen to this, and any one who is telling you this rumors ask him from where you got this info, just go to that person and make a chain, in last you ll reach that person who is spreading these false news, once you find that person then it ll be easy to deal with it and your position ll be clear. But my suggestion is focus on your studies and get good position, every rumor ll come to end when they ll see you on top Be Happy, just coooool baby
@kai9999 (1703)
• India
27 Oct 10
don't ignore it, don't go angry on it as it won't lead to any thing but diaster. maintain your calmness and be indifferent to him. best way is to back fire it, say to him that " he is seeing him through me instead of me". don't say direct to him, just back fire it to him.
• Philippines
27 Oct 10
Hmmm...it's not an easy situation especially that it concerns a very personal and so personal issue. You must first find out or do a "self-check". You might have heard some comments about before right? May it be positive or negative, try to remember if there was once or any instance that someone mentions about your ways or attitude that could be a possible factor why they would think that you are like that. If the gossip is spreading due to some kind of observation towards you, maybe they just seem to be so observant or maybe on your part, you were not aware of it in the past. On the other hand, if some people do that intentionally for some reason, you must find out who they are and try to make a right action like letting your adviser or your principal or whoever is in charge to take action on this matter. For those who are mocking you around, ignore them. You know in your self that you are not what they think you are but never let those people escape from damage they have done to you. Make sure to do it in a right manner. Keep strong!
@imphavok (320)
• Canada
27 Oct 10
Its sad when people do stuff like that. The person who did it is obviously a petty person and is probably jealous of you. Unfortunately there isn't a huge amount you can do. If you can quietly find out who did it you should talk to them privately, but I think the best thing to do is ignore it. Those who know you and are truly your friends will not believe it and if you make a big deal about it you can just make it worse. Show that you are the biger man and don't resort by spreading rumours back. If your girlfriend to be believes the gossip about you than in my opinion she probably isn't the one for you, as obviously she doesn't know you well to believe such lies. Good luck
@chayapathys (2113)
• India
27 Oct 10
There are several people whose main job is to spread rumors about some one mostly bad rumors.How can we prevent them? It is not in our hands.Try to avoid mixing with friends and confine yourself to your studies or work.Rumor mongers are every where in the word.As long as the rumors are not correct they remain rumors only.Truth will come out one day.Don't get panicky.It is the experience of many in this world.Try to be secluded and if any one asks the reason you smile away politely and don't give direct reply.Gradually they will come to know the truth and stop spreading wrong rumors...All the best