Not able to love or be loved anymore !

India
October 27, 2010 9:59am CST
I have been in love twice ( not sure if it was love for the first time, but second time it surely was ) . Till the time we were together , no matter arguing or romancing , it was good . I had been loyal and honest towards my love , but destiny is planned; she ditched me for some other man , stating the only reason to be money . We talked over it and the only reason i got was my bank balance . It was hopeless trying to convince her. Its been 2 years now, yet i want to remain single. Not because i like being single, but for the reason she gave made me decide not to trust any woman in life over love. I tried to look around the world , and saw the same thing. I started believing , love is crap , girls need cash . Now , i have my bank account filled , and satisfied with what i achieved. However, my friends ( true friends ) say that i should not continue with my weired thinking about women and start mingling around or get married. Even i fell the same, but whenever i try to approach a girl , i back off myself in the fear that the last girl just broke my heart , but this girl might shoot my heart with Magnum ! What would your thoughts be ?
1 person likes this
15 responses
• United States
27 Oct 10
Just because one girl dumped you for someone with money doesn't mean all woman are like that. I actually think it's pretty disgusting for you to judge all women by her actions.
• India
27 Oct 10
Disgusting could be replaced with a relevant word , i guess. What may , she was a girl , a woman . As it is , is it not true that 99% women around the globe look for financial security in their so-called man/husband ?
@Karunvig (714)
• India
27 Oct 10
@cookie.. u only seeing urself that u dnt love because of money but u love the person in real... have a look outside aswell u will find more tht 90% women standing for money and fun
• United States
27 Oct 10
Disgusting is a relevant word. I find that kind of thinking absolutely disgusting 99% and 90% are extremely overblown attempts at statistics. That is not true at all. Are there a lot of women who only care about money? Sure, but I would NOT say 99% or even 90%. Financial security is about being able to buy food and pay the bills, if you can't do that, then yes, that is a cause for concern. But financial security does not mean being rich or being able to buy whatever you want whenever you want and I would say less than half the female population of the world are that shallow. There are more than plenty of women in the world who make their own money and even more so for whom wealth is not paramount.
• Philippines
27 Oct 10
Hello Lionheart, I have been married to my husband for 23 years and I would say that there were a lot of ups and downs during the long years I've spent with him, it's almost half my life that I am married. During times when problems arise that affect our financial stability, I sometimes wondered if I had met and married a man of great means, would it have been a better life? Would it have been better if I had waited long enough for the man who would make my dreams come true and make my life a lot easier? Wouldn't it be great to not ever worry about how much to spend on a daily basis or when we go out? Thinking about it, I would conclude that I am lucky to have found a better life than more of those well to do families and more famous people who never worry about their spendings because I kept my family intact despite all the hardships and my husband has been a good partner to that end. A lot I know have broken homes and devastated lives. Women are never all alike. We may have similar problems at one point but I'd like to believe there are never two women who would make the exactly same decision to solve the exactly same situation. I agree with you when you said that there are women who marry or hook their men for their money but there are more women who are better than that. I believe that in this crazy world, there are at least 85% of women who are more than dignified than that. Besides, there are also men who go after women with money and the social status to go with it. Though there are no guaranties, I believe if you seek earnestly, you'd find someone who will complement you in everything. But you must be on alert if you ever find her, because she will come by only once. Once you let her go then you'll lose the chance forever. Don't give up hope as these things aren't rushed. You just have to give it enough time and I know things will work out in the end. Have a nice day!
• India
27 Oct 10
Thanks for sharing your views and for a beautiful comment. However, i am a bit confused about the thing you said " ..You must be alert if you ever find her, because she will come by only once. " . Please elaborate this part.
• Philippines
3 Nov 10
Hi, sorry to respond this late. I have so many things in my hands right now so I can't log on regularly to mylot. Anyway, as I was saying, you'll find the right girl when you earnestly seek, but there are times that people doubt their instincts that somehow cause mistakes and one is the mistake of letting go of the best choice. We always fall prey to other people's criticisms or sweet talks. But this I tell you, when I decided to marry my man, a number of my friends and relatives are saying that I should have chosen the better one, in that, a man who was economically endowed because my husband is not from a well to do family. But I kept hold of my instinct and my heart and soul dictated that I choose him than the brother-in-law of my cousin. It was no mistake that the one I chose was the one sent by God for me. I never doubted that God led me to him. I prayed hard for this and I know I am guided. I believe that if I had once doubted and let go of my choice, I wouldn't find him again in a hundred years. He could have found someone else and I would have regretted it. Do pray for His guidance and once you get the answer, heed His call. By the way, ask for signs everytime but never open your mouth as you pray. I hope it's clearer this time around.
• Philippines
28 Nov 10
Hello Lionheartguru, Thanks for choosing my response as a BR. I didn't realize it until now. I rarely open my mails and I don't really look out for such things. I only want to give my opinions when I find discussions such as this interesting. Again, this may be a bit too late but thanks. God bless!
@saqi78 (1405)
• Malaysia
27 Oct 10
Yeah, you are right there are person (male/female) who act like this and dont put one person act on the other. But in your case this is normal that you would be now aware of every women. In my view, and you ll support it, that now you need a honest partner, with whom you can share every thing, In life certain point come, when you need a person, who is solely for you and you can share every thing with him, this rule apply for both men and women. A person bitten by a snake will always scared of a rope, same is the case with you. Every lady, wants some financial security, from a man with whom she marries and it is justified, because that lady is going to be your partner, she ll have to cook, wash and do every thing for you with your help. She is going to give birth to your babies, so it is natural that she requires some financial security, and this thing you should think before marriage, that with a lady, you are going to marriage, can you give her that much financial security, if not, then you should be the first. Put love on one side, and see the other side of the mirror. I have seen many people who love, who marry then a very disgusting life starts, if husband cannot fulfill his wife and family needs. I don`t say that love does not matter, but the main thing is financial security. And I think if a lady is thinking in this way, she is always right. But on the other hand, if a lady is thinking, due to her greediness, then you are right, you should not trust her. But there are ways, you can judge her. I know the true love doesn't need any judgment, that lady was not for you, and, even she did not love you, if she would love you, she would have to wait for you or you both could have to solve this financial problem. That was your fault, that you blindly went for a lady, who you didn't judged and now thinking all ladies are same. For you it is very kind suggestion, that look around, make some judgements and choose your soul mate, try to trust some one. Put trust you ll get trust. Have a nice day... Good Luck
• India
27 Oct 10
That was very modest of you to justify both sexes. I appreciate it . I must say , i don't hate women , but i don't like them as well. I am neutral towards them .May it be profession or personal , i am plain but to the point . It would be much appreciated if you could throw some light on to "judge" women .
@hestylim (1211)
• Indonesia
28 Oct 10
Yes, your friend is right. You must stop that weird way of thinking. Don't torture yourself that way. I am sorry to hear that you are not able to love and be loved anymore. The past has been passed. Now you should open a new page and start a new life. Don't ever let others make you an evil. You will live a really pity life if you are not able to love and be loved anymore. Moreover, not all black is black and not all white is white. People are different to each other. Don't just because of one spot is black then you consider the other white is black as well. Alright? Good luck.
• Philippines
28 Oct 10
you could still find the right woman to love..there are a lot of girls among which are deserving for your love and attention..you just need to look hard,take a risk and open your heart..
@eurekafemme (5881)
• Philippines
28 Oct 10
Love and life is both about taking a risk. It is like a gamble that you are not given a guarnatee that you could win the game at the end. You might or you might not. But, why live your life in fear when you know that your heart wants to be happy. And you know you can, just take a litle risk.:) Not all men are deceitful or cash needy, there are also women who could live with just little or even nithing at all. You haven't found the right one for you, yet, but if you do, please do not hesitate to take chances with her. You'll never know what's going to happen with your lovestory with her this time. Sorry to hear you have had your heart broken, but we all do, dear. The thing is we must get up, pick up the pieces and start anew. Do not deprive yourself of the happiness because one unworthy woman broke your trust. Don't lose your hope in humanity especially women. There are still good ones out there. :) Goodluck.:)
• Philippines
28 Oct 10
you should not think about girls like that let's say that you're girlfriend was a jerk and a fool for dumping you over cash,but it doesnt mean that all of the girls around the world is like that....maybe you havent found her yet and it would be better if you wait...it's fine if you dont look for her,but it would not be good if you dont let her in..just wait!! ok
• Philippines
28 Oct 10
now youre in phobia you are traumatized with your past girlfrnds that u think theyre only after your money. it seems u hate materialistic girls then just try to avoid them. thats why u stereotype that all girls are just like your ex. just cross your fingers dont lose hope maybe youll come across someone who can prove to you theyre sincere.
• Canada
27 Oct 10
A man once asked me if i knew what "FEAR" stood for. Knowing that this was a trick question, i imediately asked him for the answer. he replied, "False Evidence Appearing Real....FEAR" I came to the realization that our fears arent the cause of everyone else. They are there because we allow them to be. Your ex wanted more money. You cannot hold negative feelings because she was honest with you and herself about what she trully desired. unfortunately in life we will meet people that do not share the same desires that we do, but you can always stay positive. You are now at a finacial state that you can be proud of. Thats a good thing isnt it? Now do yourself a favour and let go of your fears. I know that it's easier said than done, but if you believe in yourself and in love again. I promise good things will come. Yes, thhere will be rough times, but you must stay positive or you'll just waist your life. One last quote for you to think about. " An unexamined life is not worth living" (socrates) now go explore....
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
27 Oct 10
Don't count yourself out of the power of love! Everyone has the ability to love another person. they also have the ability to receive love from another person. it is never too late and you shouldn't give up the fight!
• South Korea
27 Oct 10
well I must admitt I love money...but sometimes I just cant buy everything... no real friends...anyway.. maybe we should get to know the person first before giving our 100% and sometimes you should not give everything try to save soemthing for yourself.. and this is life everybody has a choice if she will not be happy with you because you dont have a money..then let go of her..coz you cannot give what she wants and Im sure you will never be happy whenshes not happy.. theres a lot of fish in the water you just have to open your eyes..and just wait time will heal whatever pain you have..and always remeber that everybody deserves someone better..just dont give up.. goodluck;)
• Romania
27 Oct 10
Is not true. We always have somwhere a soul mate. You must trust and search for the right one
@Karunvig (714)
• India
27 Oct 10
hmmmm... u r pretty right till an extent. I will say that today 90% of girls need only Money and fun nothing else. Till u give them thy are with u. Love's defination has been changed for sure today... they want to watch first day movie show and go to disc every weekened and hve deinks there, if u can afoort all this for them then it is fine else u will be screwed and she will not love u anymore..
@jharia20 (365)
• Philippines
27 Oct 10
That's sad to hear that a girl broke your heart with money. That's an unacceptable reason. maybe she is now happy with whatever decision she made. But come to think of it. She is now happy, and you?you are still single and can't get over the past. Do you really want to be sad while the girl who made you this is now happy? You must be happy, everyone of us deserves to be happy. I think you should go dating, not all women think only about money. Someday you will meet a girl that will change the state of your mind. Good luck on your lovelife :)
@wongchoiyee (7352)
• Malaysia
27 Oct 10
Maybe you haven't found your soul mate yet, but be open up to other girls as well they waiting to be with you! Have a nice day!