relative cleverness

@jb78000 (15178)
October 27, 2010 11:00am CST
one big advantage of hanging around stupid people is that you will be seen as incredibly intelligent. in comparison. this doesn't actually mean you are particularly intelligent, just more so than those around you. now this is a wonderful thing for a person's self esteem but i can foresee a few drawbacks. first of all you might develop a flattering, but completely inaccurate, self image. secondly idiocy is catching, you'll never be forced to think hard and in the end your brain might slow down through lack of use. and thirdly you will get bored, um, stupid, since you'll never have an interesting or challenging conversation. so, do you think the advantages of having dense friends outweighs the disadvantages or not?
8 people like this
17 responses
27 Oct 10
Just because people you hang around with are clever doesn't mean you will be, but theres nothing wrong with not being as clever as others as long as you are being the best you can be. Obviously you may learn some things of others so you could get to know things you didn't know before.. but it doesn't mean you are going to be just like them. Being yourself is more important in my opinion though.
2 people like this
@jb78000 (15178)
27 Oct 10
i think you can appreciate others' company without being anything like them
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (92232)
• Marion, Kansas
27 Oct 10
Oh, I do not like to hang out with stupid people, it just makes me mad all over. I know I am smarter than a lot of people I hang around with. I also tend to look for some of the smarter and more fun people here on MyLot.
@jb78000 (15178)
27 Oct 10
[please note i am writing this while there are five responses] well the first five answers here are from such people
3 people like this
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
27 Oct 10
The key here is that you have to surround yourself with all types and not focus on the ego at all. Just expose yourself to all types of people and experiences and you will have a rich life without even having to travel very far at all. I think its good to have friends from all walks of life and varying ranges of intelligence. There is something to be learned from everyone even if it is how NOT to be.
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@jb78000 (15178)
27 Oct 10
very well put little sid.
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@sid556 (31018)
• United States
27 Oct 10
Thanks my little bunny friend! Growing up, my dad taught and at one point, he taught emotionally disturbed kids who happened to be at our home a lot. My neighbor and very good friend was a retarded boy. We were exposed to people of all sorts of religions, nationalities as well as lifestyles and intelligence levels. Anyone who secludes themselves to any certain type of person for whatever reason has no idea what they are missing out on.
1 person likes this
• Trinidad And Tobago
27 Oct 10
I'm a person who likes to have intelligent conversations. Sadly the majority of my friends are not exactly what you would call clever, or to put it a better way, I know more than they do. Sometimes when we're all talking and I say something which to me is general knowledge, they say 'wow! you're so smart!' I must admit I get bored sometimes. I try not so say much to my friends now. I let them do the talking and I just listen. One reason is because I remember having a conversation with one of my friends where she didn't know what a shooting star was, and I remember blurting out 'YOU don't know what a shooting star is?', but I honestly didn't mean anything bad by it. She went silent, and only then did I realize how conscious she was of the knowledge difference between us. What is funny is that I don't think about how smart I am compared to my friends, but I know they think about how dumb they are compared to me, mostly because they told me so. So now even though it's boring for me, I have the type of conversations that they normally do. They may be a bit dense but they're still my friends.
1 person likes this
@jb78000 (15178)
27 Oct 10
maybe you need some new friends as well as (not instead of) your old ones that like the kind of conversations you do?
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
27 Oct 10
There are different kinds of smart also. I've met people who aren't exactly book smart and that could be their circumstances but when you talk to them, they aren't stupid either.
1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18631)
• Jamaica
27 Oct 10
But have you hung around people who are stupid but think they are intelligent? For example the brother of you-know-who faxed me a letter yesterday that he obviously thinks is very clever. He expects me to respond by mail agreeing with him. I have not yet responded even though my stomach is churning and I feel nauseous. Now he thinks that I am stupid but I know that he is. He will be the recipient of one of my brilliant letters when I choose to respond. In the mean time he can stew a little or a lot. Preferably in boiling water Do you know that I do not remember ever being bored? If I am with a boring person socially my brain is elsewhere whilst I am nodding and smiling and making generic responses like "How very interesting', or 'really?' In fact the greatest compliment my husband ever gave me in our life together was that in my company, he was never bored. How great is that?
1 person likes this
@jb78000 (15178)
27 Oct 10
they are the worst. dense i can cope with but dense and thinks they are clever is infuriating. combine that with a nasty streak and you have a person i'd cross the street to avoid. i bet your stupid person uses inappropriately pompous language. that type usually do. it does not, in fact, make them look clever.
1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18631)
• Jamaica
27 Oct 10
Oh yes! You have described him exactly. Pompous, pin-headed, pain in the azz little sod using archaic 'big' words!
1 person likes this
• India
28 Oct 10
cleverness should not be measured by the people around you since you can have company of people people having different level of intelligence and you may prefer to be with people lower cleverness than yours so try to be in touch with all sorts of person because it is necessary to increase your self esteem (which less intelligent persons will do for you) and always benchmark yourself by comparing to someone who is more intelligent and challenging conversations helps the most. so enjoy life and don't confine yourself to limited group of people as this will make your knowledge limited.
1 person likes this
@jb78000 (15178)
28 Oct 10
very sensible. it is good to have all different kinds of friends.
• Canada
28 Oct 10
As good as that all sound you got to remember if your hanging around a lot of dumb people then when your out in public or something along those lines then you end up feeling embarassed and dumb for hanging out with these people in public in the first place!lol It's always good to keep one slow friend in a group just for the purpose you mentioned!lol
1 person likes this
@jb78000 (15178)
28 Oct 10
ha. i think that one could backfire (deservedly so actually). don't forget that a) cleverness is catching too and b) it is easy to underestimate people. that 'slow friend' might well give their friends a little surprise at some point.
@Hatley (161852)
• Garden Grove, California
28 Oct 10
hi jb I think I would go completely bonkers if all the p eople I was around were stupid like some living here at G old Crest. oh it wo uld jack up your self esteem but also might actually dumb down your own brain power as you never had a really wonderful making you think conversation like I have with several people here who are very intelligent. it is more fun to try to keep up with an intelligent person than feel smart compared to the dumb ones around you/ I really do not care to be around stupid people all the time as I like to use what intelligence I have to talk with more intelligent people.
@jb78000 (15178)
28 Oct 10
i think you would have to be pretty insecure to need dumb friends in order to feel clever. i am pleased you have some intelligent people around you as well as the idiots.
@hushi22 (4941)
28 Oct 10
hahah! i love the title and the first sentence. interesting! but to be honest i was told by my brothers not to hang a lot with these kind of people because i wont grow as a person. hahaha sorry to negate you pal, but in my opinion i think the disadvantages still outweighs. =)
1 person likes this
@jb78000 (15178)
28 Oct 10
i think you are right, if you just hung around with idiots you'd stay in a comfortable little bubble of idiocy and probably wouldn't develop much.
@catdla1 (6005)
• United States
27 Oct 10
Hi jb! I think a lot depends on how exclusive the selection of friends is. They say that variety is the spice of life, so why not have some of both? When you hang out with friends who you judge to be smarter...do you wonder if they are doing it for their self esteem?
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@jb78000 (15178)
27 Oct 10
well no. mainly because i have a very healthy, if possibly deluded, ego and firmly believe NOBODY is smarter than me.
@dawnald (84157)
• Shingle Springs, California
27 Oct 10
Yes, that third one, I'd be totally bored...
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@jb78000 (15178)
27 Oct 10
boredom might be underrated.
2 people like this
@laglen (19783)
• United States
29 Oct 10
Dang you found me out! This is why I am a bartender!
@jb78000 (15178)
29 Oct 10
maybe you are confusing 'stupid people' with 'drunks'. the difference is that all those happy, stupid people, will turn into badtempered, headachey, not stupid people the next day. real idiots stay that way .
@Sandra1952 (6052)
• Spain
28 Oct 10
Hello, Judith. One thing that would worry me about having dense friends would be this. If I was at their house and they were really dense, they might not realise that my vodka glass was empty. On home ground, it's fine, because I can help myself, and if they're really thick, they might not even notice that I didn't offer them a vodka, so I get to drink it all. You have to consider the important things here.
@jb78000 (15178)
28 Oct 10
you are right, that is important. especially as you'd need a lot of vodka to fully appreciate their conversation. on the other hand why can't you just go and help yourself at their houses? i am sure somebody as clever, and in as much need of vodka, as you could find a convincing reason why you were doing this. such as claiming they told you to.
@toniganzon (42794)
• Philippines
28 Oct 10
And finally i would lose my own intelligence and be dumb like them. As being the smart one, I think you should be the one influencing them to become smarter and no the other way around. One should not be flattered when being called intelligent among the fools, but rather should be humbled by this.
@jb78000 (15178)
28 Oct 10
i think you are probably right
@pergammano (7756)
• Canada
28 Oct 10
As I fully scribe to the adage; " a product of one's environment" I therefore like to choose my surroundings...and that would include all manner of stimulus for provoking thot! No battle of wits with an unarmed foe, for me! But then I do wonder about myself, when I choose "a blue-bunny" to put on an IQ pedestal..LOL! As for my id needing garnishing with "idiocy"....hmmm, there's a correlation in those words...best I leave this alone..I am digging a deeper bunny hole! Cheers!
@jb78000 (15178)
28 Oct 10
i think you should also worry about spending your time talking to non-existent blue bunnies, how clever the imaginary rabbits are (and they are VERY clever) doesn't really matter. or go and finish off cynthi's rum. i'd recommend sandra's vodka as well but she keeps it locked up, surrounded by growling attack tigers.
@sjhaeki (798)
• Philippines
28 Oct 10
haha~ i totally agree with you. well, i'm not sure if the advantages would outweigh the disadvantages of having dense friends. but i would rather choose, well not also intelligent friends, but friends who can talk about anything and know a lot as well. i may not be the smartest, i accept that, but at least my mind won't go dull and i'd be learning new things.
@jb78000 (15178)
28 Oct 10
your friends, and you, sound like they ARE bright.
@MsTickle (25007)
• Australia
6 Nov 10
Yes. Naturally.... hmmmm scratches head. What was the question?