A Rod or Advice for our children.. which better?

@visavis (5945)
Philippines
November 1, 2010 8:51am CST
In our life being parents or to be parents good attitude, characters complete decipline are our purpose and aim to our children, right? But what happened if those aims become reverse in reality. Which is better to fix using rod or using advice? Why? My friend need your thoughts, experience and opinion in this issue, It will help not only me but also to others. share with us... see you around
1 person likes this
9 responses
• India
2 Nov 10
According to me, we should never ever punish our children physically.... Just advising them good enough.... Well.... I can tell this from my personal experience.... My mom or dad never ever punished me nor did they scold me until i am 16... It was when i was 16 that my mom scolded me for the first time... I think the reason for that is that.... When we scold someone they should be in a state of mind to understand the reason for that rather than feeling sad about it....
@visavis (5945)
• Philippines
2 Nov 10
Yes my friend I agree with you... all of you have points not to punish, use rod instead of right advice = that's all how to guide and dicipline the children from the start = how about the situation is already there the children was already commit things that you don't want to from them - what action you will give? see you around
• India
2 Nov 10
If thats really the case, then if we punish the guy then, it would be a lot more drastic that what we expect.... He might become a spoilt brat.... I am sorry.... I am talking about the things here in AP in India.... Its like that only..... I would prefer a long and deep session of counselling rather than rod even if thats the case.....!!!
@pokumon (647)
• United States
2 Nov 10
Children will not learn from being punished. They will learn what not to do, but they will never learn what to do. The only way to teach is through positive or negative reinforcement. Giving them a clue of how to behave is what is needed not taking out one's frustrations on the child. Corporal punishment also teaches them that violence is an acceptable solution to problems and makes aggression okay. Is this really what we want to teach kids?
@visavis (5945)
• Philippines
3 Nov 10
Yes but occasionally if necessary to us rod I think is better... to teach something to our children.. see you around
@zenvovn (38)
• Vietnam
2 Nov 10
Remember when you were young, how your parent teached you? Did they punish you hard when you made mistakes? Is so, what was your feeling? I think you were sad. Therefore don't do it again with children. Try to a good example for them and explain to them why they should be it.
@visavis (5945)
• Philippines
2 Nov 10
it sounds great and convincing... see you around
2 Nov 10
The bible says train up a child in the way he should go when he is old he will not depart from it.I read and article and it says close to your kids always or become a best friend to them always listen to them so that if you give your advise they will listen to you , and the best is your advise.
@visavis (5945)
• Philippines
2 Nov 10
Yes I agree with you and thanks see you around
• Philippines
2 Nov 10
I don't believe in using the rod as you say. Nor in verbal abuse. Both would not bring any good to the child but will only expose them to more violence and make them believe that the world is that way. Explaining to children the consequences of their actions and why a particular action is wrong I believe is a much better way. Explanation would make them understand and understanding would make them wiser.
@visavis (5945)
• Philippines
2 Nov 10
Yes I agree with you but the situation was worst already children have character that not acceptable - what action to be done? see you around
2 Nov 10
I don't believe in physically hitting hard or with objects to disaplin children because it doesn't work. I do believe its ok to tap a child lightly if they have done something very bad so they understand that they have done something very wrong, but only as a last resort after telling them to stop, telling them off and getting them to sit outside of the room they were playing in alone so they understand what they did was wrong.
@visavis (5945)
• Philippines
2 Nov 10
Yes I believe also physical hitting is not advisable but in reality some parents are doing the other way around - why? because of children character and attitude.... see you around
@CJscott (4184)
• Canada
1 Nov 10
In my opinion it will be better for you to use advice and correction, rather then physical violence to correct a child. First of all, when you explain things clearly, in a concise manner, people in general are more willing to accept that what you have to say is important, and understand the whole picture better. This is very true for my son, when I explain why he should play on the floor rather then on the back of the furniture, he generally gets down and plays on the floor. Using violence only restricts our growth, you do not do things because you believe that doing it will hurt you, and then as you grow older you may be required through your job, at your own home, or in a relationship to do the thing which you were trained not to do as a child, and you will still hesitate to do these things, because you will still believe they cause pain, yet, as studys show, you do not know why you dislike or are afraid of these things. Not everyone is the same, and I think for the most part, advice, patience and calm correction is what works best especially with small children. Sincerely and With Appreciation.
@visavis (5945)
• Philippines
2 Nov 10
Yes using violence is not advisable in any aspect and situation of the children. see you around
@angelic123 (1112)
• United States
1 Nov 10
I think neither is better. If you give rod to discipline them they will scared of it first and will not do bad things or behavior but later on they will get used to the pain.The rod will not hurt them anymore though it will hurt them physically but their body will be conditioned to the pain so there is no point in continuing the punishment. They will just endure it, let the pain pass and will not learn anything. So as with advice,advice is good but if you always do that, always give them advice on what to do and how to react them will be accustomed to it. They will not learn on their own. They will be dependent on you. They will not know the right or wrong unless you tell them. Therefore I think the best way to discipline a child and instill good character and attitude is to have a good communication with your child. Let them learn their mistake and let them realize that they do it. Talk to them what they did and how they feel about it, doing that will let your kid differentiate good from bad. For example a 6 year old kid punch his classmate because the classmate tease him, what will be your reaction? Punish them? Advice them what they should do?that they should ignore the teasing and walk away? The big answer is NO. Communicate with your kid and ask tell if punching the kid resolve the problem, if they make them feel good. Ask them what should be a better thing to do. If he answer that punching is good, talk to them again and make them realize that punching is not the answer.Doing so will help your kid establish a good attitude or conscience.
@visavis (5945)
• Philippines
2 Nov 10
I agree with you but the situation is reversed the children are already worst situation - what are the best action or move...? see you around
@Pose123 (21671)
• Canada
1 Nov 10
Hi visavis, I do not believe in physical punishment or the rod as you call it. We must be honest with our children from the very beginning, not only telling them right from wrong but also showing it in our actions. If our children understand that they can trust us and know that we love them, they will come to us with their problems. There should be nothing that we cannot be open about with our children. Always praise them when they do something right, never call them stupid when they make a mistake, but show them what's right, explaining that making a mistake sometimes only means that we are human. If you, as a parent make a mistake, admit it, never hide it from the child. Children don't want perfect parents who have never made a mistake. Using the rod is like telling the child that violence is okay. The parents are the adults here and must set the example. Blessings.
@visavis (5945)
• Philippines
2 Nov 10
Yes I agree with you of using advice, but in your opinion when the right time using rod or stick to your children? Because I remember bible said use rod to discipline your children... see you around