What are your views about guys paying for dates or girls paying for dates?

United States
November 2, 2010 9:26pm CST
It is portrayed that guys are supposed to pay for dinner, gifts, and everything but I think the ladies have to step up and pay as well. A lot of my female friends are like "gold diggers", they only date the guy if the guy has money and can pay for their dates and spoil them with gifts which I think is stupid. I don't see it fair that the guy has to spend money like that, it's nice once in a while but ladies have to treat as well. What are your thoughts?
6 people like this
20 responses
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
3 Nov 10
I think on a first date if the guy asks then he should pay and visa versa. After that then it should be taking turns or going dutch. I don't think it is fair to expect a guy to pay for everything.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Nov 10
I agree. The first date definitely the guy has to treat but after wards it should be mutual whoever asks to go out pays and simply it should not always be the guy.
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
3 Nov 10
It's all right for any gender to pay for a date. i believe whoever asked for the date should be responsible for paying. if it was a shared decision. there should be shared responsibility in paying for the date.
• United States
12 Nov 10
I agree with you! Thanks for sharing :)
@34momma (13896)
• United States
3 Nov 10
i think if you are in a relationship you should take turns paying for dates. I think if you are starting out dating then the person who asked to go out should pay for the date.
@nikramos (701)
• Philippines
3 Nov 10
this is the idea basically if the couple is on the early stage of the relationship. both need to get used to taking turns footing the bill after some time. i dont however approve of splitting it between them. its kinda hard to explain but that sort of feels awkward to be telling your partner, here's my share of the bill and the rest is yours.
• United States
3 Nov 10
It's weird but the world is portrayed that all males must pay, why not females? I'm a female speaking from a females prospective and I don't like a guy paying for my meals all the time even if its the first date, what if I wanted to treat him out? I see that in television, movies that males must pay. Not all guys have the money to pay (my boyfriend has funds to pay but in general).
@nikramos (701)
• Philippines
3 Nov 10
trust their ego sweetie. they need it to boost their confidence. if they insist, let them. its a good thing though that you dont take on these free ride offers a lot; goes to show that you are not dependent of men. once in a while just let them, it makes them feel more manly. my views are definitely from a woman's side too but we should also pick subtle hints coming from guys. you would know instinctively if he can pay or not, you dont need to ask.
• United States
3 Nov 10
I agree. Sometimes is fine if they insist and my boyfriend and I are close, we share same bank accounts so it doesn't matter who pays or not but I am just fed up with people I know who are good diggers, expect everything paid from their boyfriend even if they've been dating for less than a month. I get gifts for my boyfriend, boyfriend gets me gifts but I am not for him for money or anything.
@hati3kuro (278)
• Malaysia
3 Nov 10
Desperate ..
• Malaysia
3 Nov 10
I'm really sorry I misread what the discussion's about... well usually it's guys who should pay for the bills but there are some rare cases where the girl settles it all.. im ok either way but sharing the sum would be wonderful and romantic...
@Sanitary (3969)
• Singapore
3 Nov 10
In my opinion, guys need not be paying for me on any dates. But guys being a gentlemen, and out of courtesy, they ought to tell us they want to pay. Whether or not we women rejects it, is a completely different thing. We women are financially stable as well and we don't need to depend on man. It's good for man to take initiative to offer to pay, but it does not mean that it's for sure and applies to every women. If not, this scenario here will surface and make it appear as we are trying to fleece the man when we have no intentions of doing so. It's the man who took it for granted.
• United States
5 Nov 10
I completely agree with your statement! We women are financially stable on our own :)
1 person likes this
• China
3 Nov 10
i'm a girl but i don't approve the idea that it should only be men who treat in whatever situations, though many women are truly gold diggers as you described. they are just more realistic and materialistic. all they care about when deciding whether they should go out with a guy is his financial state. this is really unfair since women have power of earning too and they can rely on themselves rather than on men.
• United States
5 Nov 10
I believe men and women should be equal and I also agree women also have the power to earn as well and they should not always rely on men. It depends on the situation but most of my friends depend on their men.
@daiweian06 (1408)
3 Nov 10
As i experience my boyfriend pays all of our order every time we eat outside. But when he needs lesser bills i gave it to him. I pay my own stuff when we go shopping. Sometimes im the one who pays our bill in the cab. I gave him gifts just like what he is doing. "Give and Take".. Just be fair to your partner for a longer relationship.
• United States
3 Nov 10
I agree, as long as it's somewhat fair and no one is taking advantage of each other than that is a healthy relationship :)
@llbo1981 (1242)
• China
3 Nov 10
In my opinion,there are many situations about this question.If the guys are pursuing the girls,guys shuold pay for the dates.If the girls are pursuing the guys,girls should pay for the dates.If the girl becoming the wife of the guy,the girl should pay for the dates.
• United States
3 Nov 10
Thanks for sharing. I agree if the guy invites the girl then the guy should pay and if the girl invites the guy then the girl should pay - I understand your point.
• United States
3 Nov 10
We live in a day where I would expect for things to be mutually agreed. What I mean with this is that there should not be expectation that guy should always pay. Unless of course the woman has no money and it is okay by her partner to pay all the time. My boyfriend and I live together and well he normally pays for all, but whenever I can I try to do my part as for me we are in this together.
@gloryacam (5546)
• Philippines
3 Nov 10
For a first date, I would expect the guy to pay the bill. If we ever get to a second date, I'll be happy to fork in my share. If it's the 10th date and he still insists on paying everything, there'll be no more 11th date. Show-off.
• United States
3 Nov 10
Yes, I would expect the guy to pay the bill on the first few dates of course but after the relationship progresses then I think it should be split or the lady to pay. I've been with my boyfriend for four years and all my friends are shocked that I pay sometimes!!
• Philippines
3 Nov 10
I think both should split the bill and treat each other once in a while. it's good manners to do so.
• United States
3 Nov 10
I agree, both should spit the bill and treat each other once in a while not always the guy have to pay.
@pillow08 (98)
• Philippines
4 Nov 10
Of course, being a girl, I'd appreciate a guy who can "afford" me. But love you can not buy. It is just proper that as a couple, you help each other out. If the girl earns more than the man, then they can make arrangements, such as splitting the bill or letting the girl shoulder the expense. It is just money and it should not get in the way of the relationship. A generous guy who showers you with expensive gifts, fancy dates and vacations does not mean his intentions are pure.
@johney264 (548)
• China
4 Nov 10
I don't things will that much easily the boy will like to pay for every gift of dinner. as a girl there must have a big problem at after, this is a question about girls heart. if the girls just want to spoil the man's money and then she will forget every thing that happend, I don't think any girl will do like this, and any boy will that much generous. I have met much of phenomenons like this situation but finally the girls is the loser the buy is the winner. because the buy will get more and more while the girl will lose in the future.
@zjdway (26)
• Qingdao, China
3 Nov 10
Ithink at the first or twice guys should pay for rhe dinner or gifts.it is what a man should do. If dated for a long time,who paid is depended on who want to pay.If you do want to pay it you can leave he or she.who pay is his or hers choose.Have a good day.
• Canada
3 Nov 10
Im old fashioned. If Im out with a guy, he should pay for the pleasure of my company. I have never paid for a man on a date and I wont start now. That said, if hubby and I are going out, it doesnt matter who pays, we share the same bank accounts.
@saqi78 (1405)
• Malaysia
3 Nov 10
I think you have taken a good initiative and should be act upon it (think about it ladies, not all but those who do this). I think burden should not be put on one person both should mutually share the expenses and should cooperate with each other. And both should gift each other....:)
@lira23 (210)
• United States
3 Nov 10
I think if a guy wants to take a woman out he should pay because he wants to take her out in the first place, why should a woman have to pay for a date that the guy is taking her on? I know that If I got asked out on dates i wouldn't pay and thats for darn sure. Now If a woman wants to go out and asks her boyfriend or whatever then yes she should pay, or at least they both can take care of the bill and chip in for it.
@tincabzh (174)
• Philippines
3 Nov 10
honestly i dont like the guy to pay for my stuff! unless he really insists! i had an ex before that he backtrack all he paid for our dates! but now me and my boyfriend used to split the bill if we are on a date but he really wants to spoil me! he doesnt want 50-50 share! he wants 90-10 or lower shares! hehehe!!
• Philippines
3 Nov 10
We have to be practical!Life isn't easy. Here's the rule that I know: On a date, once the bill is served the girl should offer to chip in. If the guy insists on paying, then you let him pay. It might hurt his ego if you keep insisting. You can always find other ways to sort of pay back. Pay the cab or something like that.