November 3, 2010 2:46am CST
I have always been an idealist when it comes to relationships. I have always denied being so but I guess it's high time for me to admit that I am an idealist. Last week has proven to be an experience where I could say 'I never dreamed of doing ever in my life' but dared to do so for 'love'. Anyhow, I'm not going to talk about what happened to me last week. I'd like to ponder more on the realizations I have seen from the people around me. I have always played 'matchmaker' even if it was only in my mind. I was always negative when it came to relationships - most especially when I thought that two people weren't really a 'match'. Laughed behind their backs because they looked awkward with their partners (I know I'm bad) and sadly have often thought 'they are not going to make it far'. With my failed relationship I have realized that there's no such thing as a 'perfect match'. You can never really be sure who you're going to end up with and regardless how bad you want someone, you can't really force the two of you to be together when all the forces of the universe would be against it. Looking back at the life of my good friend. He too has always been an idealist. He had the exact type of a woman who he'd like to marry in his mind. Now about more than 5years down the road, he got married to someone who I bet wasn't listed in his 'ideals'. I don't know what he saw in her that made him decide to marry her, but I guess there's some unexplainable something that motivates someone to commit. I am now at the crossroads of my life. I have a strong feeling I have found my 'match' but am not pushing the issue too much for fear of failed expectations. I just wish there was some type of a sign or signal that would make me know because the feeling is bugging me big time - mostly when I'm idle. So, here are my questions for you my dear mylotters. How do you know you have found your match? When did you realize that you did want to get married with the person you are with today? If you didn't marry, why didn't you accept the proposal? Have you ever regretted not accepting the proposal for marriage? What signals or signs did you see or feel that opted you to feel that you'd like to marry her? I know it's quite odd really. I am a woman and I have to wait for his decision. However, I would just want to know if he feels that he'd want to marry me soon or if it's all just an 'experience' without any future in it.
3 Nov 10
Hello Laydee How do you know you have found your match? I don't KNOW. you just have to work it out through dates and courtship. I don't believe in destiny because i don't expect much and destiny or fate will only happen when you least expect it. we expect too much and that's how relationship doesn't last. unless the person is real bad influence, we should let the flow through. No offence but I think it isn't for you to judge to what ever it is in their pair/relationship, they made that choice with their feelings and commitment. that's weird, i never laughed in you're situation and yet you Laughed behind their backs because they looked awkward with their partners and sadly have often thought 'they are not going to make it far'. Love is something unexpected. you get to love probably something better than what you prescribed. which i thought you already knew that by now.
3 Nov 10
never felt love at first sight, it is the whole of the meaning that you ask a match can be found at the time of dating, friendship is also a meeting that is often done, when he asked you to marry, surely if the time is right and he and all have been prepared both financially and mental . .... think of that first
3 Nov 10
im not even sure if i found my match in my current partner as i regard my relationships each time as one that is for the long run. i always think of my partner (even my exes) as the guy i see marrying someday. however i always find myself getting disappointed. ive grown to understand that with whoever i commit myself to, i just have to give my all because im not certain if he's the one or not. at least i dont miss the chance of showing him how i really feel for him at the moment. i wont regret having to hold back. with regard to my present relationship, im in the stage when im feeling AGAIN that he's the man for me. for one, i cant say he has everything im looking for in my future husband and that fact alone makes it a big surprise as to how my senses came up with the idea that, yes, he is indeed the man i want to be with for the rest of my life. its pretty hard to label everything we have in the relationship. its too far from high school-ey kind of love and hate. i have big faith on my gut feel when everything else is quite complicated to figure out. all i know is with my man i feel safe and i can be my ugliest or the meanest without worrying he will judge me.i wont mind him catching me off-guard. he is the man i wish to be greeting me with a kiss in the morning and hugging me to sleep every night. i see myself bearing his kids and having a family with him. the thing is he hasnt proposed to me YET. looking forward to that day...