She complains about EVERYTHING!!
By maezee
@maezee (41997)
United States
November 3, 2010 7:26pm CST
I love my older sister to death and all, but see above: she complains about EVERYTHING. She is a whiner. ESPECIALLY about her "work", meaning, whether she is employed or unemployed - she is ALWAYS complaining about her "work situation". If she's working, she can't just take it for what it is, but has to get all annoyed and stressed about every little thing - and TALK about it to me. When she was unemployed - from June to October, I did not hear the END of her complaining that she wanted a job. There's no way to win, here! It's not something I just noticed, but we got in a little bit of a tiff today over the whole ordeal. She got home from her new job, spouting off some silly complaint about work, and was just being super rude to me and her boyfriend because of it. I asked her some silly question, and she snapped on me.
I said, "EXCUSE ME? AREN'T YOU GOING TO ASK ME HOW MY DAY WENT? I have a job too and my day was GREAT!" And we almost got into a physical fight because that upset her. LOL. I don't care. I find it annoying, ungrateful, and selfish for her to continuously complain about her jobs or lack thereof- especially consider she NEVER EVER asks me how things are going, and RARELY do I use her as a "listening ear" when I just want to vent. I have to offer it up, otherwise she won't ask. And not only that, but she complains regardless of the situation she's in. I tend to zone out after 20 years of hearing this kind of talk. (OK, not 20 years, more like since she was old enough to get a job - 8 years, maybe?) Because there's obviously NO making her happy, even though just a little over a month ago she was complaining how desperate she was to get a job.. Well, you have one, so SHUT UP AND TAKE IT!!
I mean.. I didn't say that.
Do you know a lot of selfish, annoying complainers? How do you handle them when they tend to be related to you and currenty living with you? UGH!
4 people like this
11 responses
@2004cqui (2812)
• United States
4 Nov 10
Unfortunately we can't divorce our siblings. When you stop coming around and her boyfriend leaves her maybe she'll figure it out. Something is happening to her. Be there when she reaches out. You're probably be the only one who reaches back!
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
6 Nov 10
Oh how I would like to be like that! And I think it will be easy for me. To just complain about everything. The problem is, I don't have anybody to complain to. If your sister stopped, can I instead complain to you maezee? I'm sure no one would put up with it. That's why I pour it all out here in myLot instead. I think my complaints just comes out in the form of discussions.
@Shellyann36 (11385)
• United States
4 Nov 10
I am so sorry that you have to be faced with this negativity all of the time. Have you ever tried to sit her down and talk to her about it. I mean a real heart to heart? Get her alone, say hey what is wrong? Tell me every last detail of this job that is wrong and then tell me what is alright about it. Try to help her find the positive in the job as well. I know that some people are just NEGATIVE & if I cannot bring some POSITIVE thinking to their life I just try to stay away! Has she always been like this about everything or is it just the entire job aspect? Good luck!
@chatelaine09 (433)
• Australia
4 Nov 10
My advice to you is to tell her to write a diary....If not tell her you get it already no need to repeat!
@Sanitary (3968)
• Singapore
4 Nov 10
I'm lucky my brother isn't like your sister. He doesn't complain about things but he shared his problems with me in a nice way. There are no arguments between us and we behave like friends. I have a particular friend who likes to complain about everything and that annoys me. So what I do is that, I stand on whichever side that annoys her and make her see her mistakes. I see no point in taking her side because she never seems to be content with anything.
@Bingster_6 (309)
• Philippines
4 Nov 10
Hello Maezee,
I can see that you have that furious relationship with your elder sister. And you're so angry with her complaining about just herself and not knowing if your okay. I bet for me, I have three elder sisters and good to know that we have a pleasant relationship with each other, we all complain about our jobs and not having jobs, but we all listen to one another vice versa. But in your case, you are just sick hearing all her complains on and on.
First of all, you must have your patience extend to the maximum level. For being the younger sister, you also have that respect for she is your elder sister. Don't feel bad about it, its normal in the family hierarchy but you have the right to tell her the things that you are sick about especially when she complains everything, maybe it is really your elder sister's attitude but for her to change to, you are the instrument to tell her honestly that is already annoying, tell it to her therapeutically with no hurt feelings. At first you understand her the way she complain and that's mature enough of you to act that way. There is no need to brag about your status, the important is she will understand you too, it kinda hard in that way but, you still have a good approach to her even though she's not to you. Good luck, and talk to your sister heartily. Have a great day!
@djbtol (5493)
• United States
4 Nov 10
I know what you are saying. I have known people that tend to be so self-centered that they tend to just talk about themselves. They are not bad people, but it is interesting that they may never get around to asking about you and your life.
It takes much patience to accept some people just like they are. It will do no good to get angry at them or to accuse them of being selfish.
I really do not know what the best solution is, other than to pray.
@Anora_Eldorath (6028)
• United States
4 Nov 10
Maezee-
I suppose I have a slightly different viewpoint on siblings because of what I went through my brother and mother so I have no issues "divorcing" my family. However, that said, before that occurred when they were overly negative I simply called less. They'd come around and I'd listen but I'd not be overly talkative. I found that the more I was quiet I actually got to share more. Does this make sense? Sometimes people just need to whine and vent. And some people, not all but some, simply need to have something to complain about to make them feel they have a life.
I'm not sure how old your sister is but perhaps she's had a difficult life? I mean maybe her childhood was great but maybe being an adult is a difficult spot for her at the moment.
And perhaps the honest truth is that your sister will never be happy and you cannot make her happy. That may be something you will have to work out and figure out how to block out from your happy life.
As far as the day to day making it bearable I'd simply find someone you can vent to either online, on the phone, or texts or emails. (Even a cup of coffee). You may even try keeping a vent journal where you write out everything you would like to say but wouldn't say. I'd also suggest a gratitude journal and for your case I'd find something you are grateful for every day as it relates to your sister. Sometimes when we ourselves focus on the positive we can truly help the person who is the complainer. I'd also learn how to listen with a smile and nod. Actively engage her with her eyes even when on the inside you are shouting "Man, do you ever think of anyone but yourself". Then after you are done listening simply flush from your mind and move on with life.
Hope this helps a bit.
Namaste-Anora
@natnickeep (2336)
• United States
4 Nov 10
The sad thing is a lot of people do this because they don't have anything better to talk about and need to hear themselves talk. It makes them feel involved or connected. And some people even do it for attention. Then there are people who have had a lot of bad things happen to them, and struggled a lot so when things go good they get confused. They feel like it's not right, and they have to find something wrong with the picture to make it normal. I don't know which problem your sister has or if it's even one of these, she could just be a very negative crappy person. Maybe try to get down to the deeper issue, let her know she has a problem. Maybe get her some self help books on being optimistic. Good luck, sometimes I guess I am glad I was an only child. But then again I am paying for it by being granted two complaining little girls. But they are family...I am stuck with them...and I love them. Just like you do your sister.
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
4 Nov 10
Hello Maezee,
that's what happens when you're not contented with anything that you have. if she keeps this up, soon she might loose everything and start with all the regrets. she has a boyfriend, a job, you? what more can she asked for
.
I am glad i don't have that kind of a sibling. they are mature, they handle problems of their own. which makes me think, am blessed that they didn't share their problems with me.