How Much Is Too Much?

United States
November 6, 2010 7:39pm CST
I am just wondering what some other mothers takes are on babysitters.My mother and father want to keep my son all the time.If they are not at work they are wanting him and I am just wondering what others mothers think is too much time with someone other than the parent.I feel that it is good for my son to see other people but I just havent decided how much is too much.
2 people like this
15 responses
@visavis (5934)
• Philippines
7 Nov 10
Some other say, one is normal, two is too much and next is poison to kill something. I'm not telling that "too much" has a certain number or count but it is supperlative nature that give you two things good and bad result. I think babysitting of you parents to you son is okay but to the extend that they will brainwash you son in some sort of bad thing about you.... sorry but just my opinion.. see you around
@visavis (5934)
• Philippines
7 Nov 10
Sorry wrong my response, dis-regard my above response. I'm talking or mean is the babysitter if ever you decided to get someone other than your parents... sorry again.
@olgiana (241)
• Mexico
7 Nov 10
grandparents are the same as parents, in some cases even better. they love the kid as they loved u, but now they have experience and more time. if u r so blessed and have ur parents living close by, enjoy it. there is no such a thing as too much.
@alottodo (3056)
• Australia
7 Nov 10
I agree! I wish I had my parents looking after my children! but I live in another country so that did not happen. Grandparents can teach the children so much! and most of all they love your child no ends.
@Celanith (2327)
• United States
8 Nov 10
I am a grandparent and have 13 living grandchildren. I do enjoy babysitting them at times. Some I wish I could see and have a lot more often. I rarely get to see them or interact with them at all nor does my husband though they live close by. Their parents both work and they are busy often. But I enjoy the times we do have with them. On the other hand my other two children are often around and have their children stay with me frequently. I do enjoy them as well but at times it gets to be very wearying and I do not get a lot of time needed for just my husband and I. Recently this has changed though as daughter moved about 50 miles away and so though we do see them often it is not as restricting or as demanding. My other two grandchildren are near us and they are teenagers and so we see them usually about every other weekend and have a good time with them but they are off with their friends now a lot and that is good too. As a grandparent I have this to say. We love our grandkids but we need time for our own lives as well. It is not healthy for your parents to have you son all the time nor is it healthy for him to be with them all the time. Your parents need to find other interests outside of your son and be glad for the times you do let him stay with them. Your son can get demanding with them and they can spoil him overly much. Also if for some reason you move or something causes your parents not to be around as much it can cause some deep shock to your son or to them. We are grandparents for a reason. We raised our own children we often learned things as we raised them and may have advice that could help as long as it is not nagging. At the same time we need a life beyond our children and grandchildren. As we get tired easier and often short tempered. So we can have the children for a time then send them home or be happy they have time with others.
@kingparker (9673)
• United States
9 Nov 10
Well, you can invite your friends come on over to visit you. At the same time, they can play with your son too. There no standard measurement on how much is too much. It is all depend on you, and it won't be harm for your baby son to see other faces. It might your ultimate decision to make right?
@Onyxe121 (206)
• United States
9 Nov 10
On the whole I have no problem with the concept free babysitters. If you are concerned you should talk to your son and get an idea of what is going on after you drop him off. Also watch his behavior when you drop him off. Is your child the first grandchild? That could be it too. My boys are my mom's first grandkids and they are rotten because of it-lmao. But if your really uncomfortable, its time to set some boundaries. But you should have a good idea of what your uncomfortable about.
• Philippines
14 Nov 10
hi there! For me, infants needs their mother all the time, for bonding, care and love because they are still developing trust and if trust is developed they learn to trust to themselves...but as they grow they need to be exposed to other people so that parents dont have difficulty as separation anxiety will do. too much when you already feel that your son is very dependent to your parents. and it is better to spent most of your son's time with you as parents so when he grows older he will have a good foundation with his own famiily.
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
8 Nov 10
i am not a parent yet at the moment... but if i have a child in the future, i want to spend as much time as i can with my child especially during the first 3 years of his/her life... i wouldn't allow other people to spend too much time with my child when they are still too young even with their grandparents... take care and have a nice day...
7 Nov 10
I think its important for children to see other people other than their parents too as parents need a little break for a few hours every now and then aswell as its nice for the children to bond with grandparents. My parents have mine and my wifes kids on friday from 11am until around 6pm... and then they come here and see them on sunday, but other than that they don't see them much unless my wife goes with them to visit my parents sometimes while i'm at work. I'm not sure whats too much but i think you should be seeing your son more than your parents... if thats any help.
• Philippines
7 Nov 10
I think its too much when it reach your limit. Its when you can' to anything anymore in a given situation.
@natnickeep (2336)
• United States
7 Nov 10
It depends on how you feel they influence him. If you think you were brought up well and he will benefit out of the time then it's okay. But if you feel like you are missing out on too much then it is okay to say no. It's your child you can say hey I want to spend some time with him. You parents shouldn't be offended. I would say as long as they aren't taking him everyday it's okay. Maybe once or twice a week is good. It's good for kids to view and experience other environments. But they may confuse where home is if it's too often.
@Cutie18f (9551)
• Philippines
7 Nov 10
I wouldn't trust babysitters too much since they are not really related to your child by blood. I am talking about babysitters that you hire to look after your kid. Many of them had been known to be notoriously violent to the kids in the absence of their parents. I can trust grandparents though.
• India
7 Nov 10
only u can drow a line on how much is too much no person in the world can tell u that as u r in ur own shoes and aware of ur circumstances so u know better about how much
@calpro (930)
• India
7 Nov 10
It is always good to have your son with your parents rather than baby sitter.Grand father and grand mother will make him much more happier than parents and babysitters,my son loves to play with his grand father and he loves to stay with them. I suggest you to let it go smoothly as it is going now.
• United States
7 Nov 10
I think some time is fine, but you have to set boundaries. Yes it is good for our children to be around people other than us, it provides different opportunities for emotional grown, but you do not want the child seeing their grandparents as primary caregivers either. It also depends a lot on the role your parent's are playing in your son's life. Do they try to take control over how you parent? Do they honor your parenting style and make your son follow the same rules you do? Does your son spend more time with them then at home? These and so many other factors should be weighed when deciding how much time away is too much, ultimately the choice is yours. For me as long as the majority of my childrens' time is spent with me I would be okay with it. And speaking as someone who no longer has their dad, and wishes he'd had more time to be a papaw, I say let your son enjoy his grandparents, and be thankful that they are there to be in his life.
@fannitia (2167)
• Bulgaria
7 Nov 10
Hi, Bredwine2, for me it depends on the way they look after him. I had many differences with both grannies of my daughter so I'm happy that I was with her until the age of 6. But the parents need sometimes to be free, on their own. You may just check what happens with your son and you'll find the balance.