Victim to Gossip

United States
November 8, 2010 11:11am CST
We all have been the victim to gossip one point or another in our lives weather we knew it or not. Sometimes gossip starts because of jealousy, people who don't like us and people trying to win each others approval. We just happened to be the common discussion. And then sometimes it's our friends having big mouths. Did you ever play that game in school where you sat in a circle. You whisper something to the person next to you and then them to the next, all the way around the circle until the end. And then the last person says what they think it is out loud and the first person says what it started as. Human perception plays a big part in this little experiment. We change stories not even on purpose, because we remember it different. And sometimes we change them to add more excitement or interest. To win friends and gain influence. This is the vicious cycle of gossip. My question is have any of you had an experience in life where this game played out? You told one friend something and then down the road another friend thinks something totally different is going on. Please share your story if you have been the victim of gossip by your own friends.
3 people like this
9 responses
@suspenseful (40326)
• Canada
9 Nov 10
I never had that problem. Usually with me, it did not happen that the story got around the circle and then the last person related something entirely different. With me, it did not take that long. It took the wrong turn after the one I told said, "I thought you meant that," so I wound up having to explain it in more detail.
• United States
11 Nov 10
Yes people just sometimes assume they think they know what they meant. It's called their perspective of our story. Sometimes it makes me wonder why we communicate at all. Because nothing will ever be exactly as we said it or meant it.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40326)
• Canada
12 Nov 10
I often think I have to talk to people in the way I learned to read. Or do the 1) I opened the door, 2) She had a blue dress on, etc. It does make it frustrating and what is worse is that sometimes people believe they know the reason behind what I said. or did. For instance I had to get a new Sears Card and because it was a Mastercard, my younger son felt I was going to go on a spending spree. Well I had to explain that I would get more points and I save up first. So he has a perspective of me as a spendthrift when it is oppposite.
• China
9 Nov 10
I think everyone will suffure from this bad situation,the gossip from people around!but I think what we can do is just keeping silence,just like a saying:gossip ends on wisdom persons.Don't pay much attention on that and don't need to annoy with the boring persons who spread the gossip,just enjoy your own life,it is not related to anyone!
• United States
11 Nov 10
Yep I agree it's best to just turn the other cheek, be the bigger person..those are great lessons.
• India
9 Nov 10
Well... Some time ago I was having a girl friend and why I am starting with remembring her because she was having very nice sense of humour to understand some situation and she feels about that, imagined about why such a problem has occured. she used to tell me "don't care about mango people'. as we say in hindi "aam aadmi" and if we go to translate it in english it comes mangi people. So, people who live besides us can be called by this mango people and they when ever they get free time and mind ...they just start talking about you with adding some their own mind creation. and then gossip get started. So many times I have been also became victim of it. But I don't try to make up my mind from some others saying and never try to find out who has started and why any body has started...and I think this should be the way to deal with it when you become victim of it ... Thanks...
• United States
11 Nov 10
Yea most of the time we know who the starter of it is. And if not it's not worth our time to mess with it.
@ebuscat (5949)
• Philippines
9 Nov 10
For me not to my own friend's but to my mother in law they are very good of it because she is influence by Satan heart.
• United States
11 Nov 10
Wow. Yeah I have heard mother in laws are good at gossiping too. It's another jealousy issue. You took their baby away.
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
9 Nov 10
I try not to get myself involved in gossiping. Gossips turns out to be half truth stories as people use to add their own version to make up a juicy story to win friends. I don't know if I have been a victim of gossipers as I have nothing interesting for anyone to talk behind my back.
• United States
11 Nov 10
For some of us it is easier to just stick to ourselves. Lucky for me I have two best friends I can count on and tell anything to when I need to.
@2004cqui (2823)
• United States
8 Nov 10
Only by past friends. Snicker, snicker. Talk about burning their bridges! No, I do not trust those who did this and I cannot help them if they even asked me to. Self preservation and always having a positive outlook on my own future has led me to a life I am very proud of! Leave the rest of them in the dust.
• United States
11 Nov 10
Yes there are those major gossipers in life that you have to just walk away from.
8 Nov 10
I think people simply thrive on gossip and looking in on other peoples lives to make their own seem less dramatic and much more comfortable. I guess that is why soap operas are so popular. I have never been a victim of anyone's gossip, well if I have I never knew about it. At the end of the day I am not too bothered about what other people say or think about me. The only people that matter and who's opinions matter are those of my children and my husband.
• United States
11 Nov 10
I agree I really don't care what anyone else thinks either except for my family.
@sk66rc (4264)
• United States
8 Nov 10
It's the nature of people. I could really careless about what people say. I won't take part in any gossip. I'll make my own judgement call based on facts, not what people say. There were times when I told 2 different people 2 different version of a story & see what version comes back to me. Then I would know who started talking. I started out by saying, "Can you keep a secret?" or "Just between you & me..." Seems like no matter how clear I make it, stories seem to find itself back to me. I'm a male & I have a good female friend. There's nothing romantic going on & I consider her very close friend of mine. I used to work with her. Once, someone asked me if there was something going on between us. I told that person, "don't tell anybody but yeah, we've been seeing each other for some time now." Then I told another person, "Nah, we're just friends. She's really a cool person & I consider her a good friend but nothing more." 2 weeks later, I hear somebody else tell me, "So, what's going on with your girl friend?" Guess who spread the rumor even though I told that person not to say anything? Of course the girl I'm friends with knew the whole thing. I've decided not to trust that person whom I told that we were seeing each other. 3 month later, that person ended up getting fired for stealing from work. I figured as much.
• United States
11 Nov 10
Yes some people that like to talk about other peoples business are not very proud of their own. It is nature to gossip I think some can be okay, innocent and sometimes it can be hurtful or cause problems.
@dorannmwin (36620)
• United States
11 Nov 10
It was actually not all that long ago that this exact same thing happened in my life. One of my friends needed to go to the hospital because she was having some kidney issues. She asked me to go with her and I started off telling her that I really couldn't because I had something that I really needed to do. Well, she finally pressured me into going and it took forever, I was very frustrated with the situation and I told another friend about it. She ended up saying that I thought that it was a bunch of bull that the other girl couldn't go to the hospital on her own when all that I said was that I really hadn't wanted to be there.