I am concerned about how i treat others not by others to me !!!!!

@Jotomy (6352)
India
November 9, 2010 5:58am CST
Hi friends / members, I agree that it is difficult not to be concerned that others will treat us badly if they have done so in the past. That is why it is so important not to think about it at all. I fell it makes us to unhappy through which others in the family members may feel unhappy, so why all these keeping in mind and make our happy life mess. I will leave it every thing to God and move with a smile always. I believe god will bring a reward into our lives. I feel we don't need to be concerned about how others treat us but our concern should be how we treat others. Share with me regarding this.
5 people like this
13 responses
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
10 Nov 10
I like what you are saying…We should concern ourselves with our own behaviour instead of constantly worrying about what other people do. Having said that we ought to teach others how they should treat us and not tolerate being considered without the respect we deserve but we cannot control other people’s behaviour only our own so I think that the world may well become a better place if we focus on our own conduct and practice the art of forgiveness more often.
4 people like this
@Jotomy (6352)
• India
15 Nov 10
Hi paula, yes well worded paula, even i get annoyed with others still i will be friendly with them, i am concerned only their goodness and how i treat them and not how they treat me because i will not expect anything from anyone so no question of worry. Thanks for your sharing. Have a good day.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (67531)
• India
9 Nov 10
It depends upon how bad the bad treatment was. If somebody kills my mom, and he or she happens to be my family, it does become a bit difficult to forgive, especially if my life becomes a mess subsequently. But if somebody has been rude, uttered unkind words, has been shrewd, I might overlook it or give back in kind so that they realize how tough it can be for them to forgive those words. I do differentiate between what can be forgiven, ignored, and what cannot. Then again, if my physical and financial safety were in jeopardy, I might choose to hold on to words as it would be risky to continue the relationship. I am not for forgive and forget in the family. I am sorry.
2 people like this
@vandana7 (67531)
• India
9 Nov 10
I have in the past tried to brush off, but it has hurt me a lot, repressed feelings dont help. Saying leave it to god makes me wonder where god was a person was dying after having been troubled so much. I will react as I feel. If it looks odd in the society so be it. I have reasons, and very concrete ones.
@vandana7 (67531)
• India
9 Nov 10
And Jotomy, not everybody is alike, isn't it? Some people are more bad than others. It just happens that my folks are a bunch of dirty rotten soundrels.
1 person likes this
@Jotomy (6352)
• India
11 Nov 10
Hi vandana, yes all are not alike, in the family itself we will have different mentalities though they are our brother and sisters or our family members. You are so open and frank. I appreciate your response.
• India
10 Nov 10
I agree with you Jotomy. If we treat others right, the natural reaction is that others would treat us right. It reminds of a Bible verse where Jesus says In Matthew 12:7- “All things, therefore, that YOU want men to do to YOU, YOU also must likewise do to them; this, in fact, is what the Law and the Prophets mean". So this is a beautiful way Jesus illustrated how to treat other, just the way we want to be treated by them. And concerning people who are always bad at attitude? Again we find divine wisdom in Bible in saying " Love even your enemies".
2 people like this
@Jotomy (6352)
• India
15 Nov 10
Hi keep_onwatch, well said. Yes there is a saying in Bible. Actually these words i heard in the Church on that day, so i thought to share with you all. And also some of my friend attitude also is like that she talks sweetly but what happened she got engagement she asked us come but she didn't given the address all the friends are at my home to go there but no one knows the address properly then how come we go, why she didn't attend to our calls so we thought she must be thinking that her status is low compared to us and that is why she didn't given us address. But we never thought in that way because in friendship we all are equal no money matters i never see the status, we all see the heart how they are. Next day we given her left and right for what she did. But we all like her because she is our friend. I was little annoyed with her behaviour. Thanks for your sharing. Have a good day.
@GardenGerty (102456)
• United States
9 Nov 10
It is correct, you are not responsible for how others behave only for your behavior, or your reaction to their behavior. Holding on to bad feelings and experiences only makes that bad time last longer.
@Jotomy (6352)
• India
15 Nov 10
Hi GardenGerty, true we are not responsible for the attitude or the behaviour of others. They will have their own style of talking or behaving. Some people are so polite and some are not. We can't say anything about it. We must concerned only good about others and how we treat them. Thanks for your sharing. Have a great day.
@lingli_78 (12844)
• Australia
9 Nov 10
that is very true... we should only concern about how we treat others and not how others treat us because eventually God will judge us individually and we have to be responsible of our own actions in front of Him... that's why i never care so much about how other people treat me... but i always try to treat other people nicely because i don't want to commit a sin... take care and have a nice day...
2 people like this
@Jotomy (6352)
• India
11 Nov 10
Hi lingli, Yes, well worded. We all know some people will be different they may not match us still we treat them good. Since we have a attitude of loving others since we learned only to love others. Thanks for your nice response. Have a great day.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39001)
• Philippines
9 Nov 10
hello Jo, Well said,it's not how we are being treated or how people accept us that matters,but how we treat and accept them in our lives. It follows with positive results and less negative when we make other people feel their worth and importance in our lives. Again,my principle is "to live each day as if it is the last day of my life" Doing all the good things that i can,i am not perfect though,i can say that most of my life i've done good things and less bad. I want to be remembered for all the good deeds,and not for being a bad person to other people. Have a good day always dear
1 person likes this
@Jotomy (6352)
• India
11 Nov 10
Hi jai, see jai, we have different kinds of people around us, in our house itself we have different mentalities but we have to cop up and move with them we may not like their attitude still we move because we love them. Love will forgive all other mistakes of our beloved ones. We are not concerned about their mistakes we only concerned about them and try to change their attitude and make them to good. Also we have many friends all friends will not be alike different different attitudes with different styles they have. Yet we try to move with them though they hurt us with their words. You have a very good principle that you live each day as if it is the last day of my life. True we doesn't know when our life will ends up. Each minute is not ours what we have now is only ours and like to live happy and make others also happy. Every person will have good and bad sides. I will take only good side of the persons. Thanks for your nice response. I really impressed. God bless you and your family. Take care. Have a wonderful day.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39001)
• Philippines
11 Nov 10
Hello Jo, Thanks for the appreciation. And that's it,another way of treating our loved ones,friends and enemies is to appreciate them. Yes,people who doesn't like us (enemy,in the sense that they doesn't like us,but for us they're not enemy anyway,not so close friends maybe hehehe)we need to appreciate people who doesn't like us that much. By doing so,we will be able to learn things from them too,that we can never please everybody no matter how much we do our best and be good to them. Because some people wants more and more each time we give them small favor. Small favors become bigger and heavier,and once we failed their expectations,all the goodness that we've done are forgotten and for them,we look bad (after all the good things/favor) So,we really need to adjust from each individual person in our lives,loved ones,relatives,friends and not so close friends
@jaiho2009 (39001)
• Philippines
26 Jan 11
hello again Jo, Thanks for the mark and hope you have great day always
@ariyanti (206)
• Indonesia
11 Jan 11
During this time, I do not care, how the treatment of others against me. I just do, what should I do. I always try, treat others well. Although others, have treated me badly.
1 person likes this
@Jotomy (6352)
• India
15 Jan 11
Hi ariyanti, Happy new year, Nice to hear from you this response. Have a great days ahead.
@KrauseHome (35517)
• United States
22 Nov 10
These are some Great thoughts to think about, and could really motivate us more to be a Great person over all. I think often times, we get too concerned over how someone else is treating us to worry about making the situation better and treating everyone around us with Kindness to where soon they might be able to return it more as well.
1 person likes this
@Jotomy (6352)
• India
23 Nov 10
Hi KrauseHome, yes i too agree for this, good response, have a great day.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
11 Nov 10
I grew up learning that we were supposed to treat other people as we would want to be treated ourselves. That said, I have always tried to be as nice as possible to other people. There have been times that it is difficult to be nice to other people, but it isn't something that I really struggle with. It does, however, really hurt my feelings when it seems like other people think that they can walk all over me because of the fact that I am always a kind person.
1 person likes this
@Jotomy (6352)
• India
15 Nov 10
Hi dorannmwin, i felt happy to know that the way you learned. Yes even we ourselves must teach our children to grow in the same manner then they never feel sad when they got hurt by some one. Thanks for your response. Have a good day.
@Hatley (164486)
• Garden Grove, California
10 Nov 10
HI Jotomy you are refreshing as so many come here and complain that they are so mistreated by family members and friends. Yes it is much more important in our own lives as to how we do treat others. Are we kind and courteous, do we live with thoughts of helping others and of being politenot rude? God leads us if we just listen to him,.I do unto others as I would have them do unto me.
1 person likes this
@Jotomy (6352)
• India
15 Nov 10
Hi Hatley, thank you so much. Yes these words will give some people refreshment whoever betrayed. Have a good day Hatley. I pray god to give you good health.
@jugsjugs (13045)
9 Nov 10
I have been bought up to treat people the same way as i want to be treated.In the past there have been people that have treated me really bad or nasty,however they are people that alot of people do not waste their time on anymore.I do not care what other people are up to or what they are doing,as long as they do not interfer with me,or bring me down to what they are like.
1 person likes this
@Jotomy (6352)
• India
15 Nov 10
Hi jugsjugs, i am sorry to hear this, why some people do such things i couldn't understand. Thanks for your sharing. Have a good day.
• United States
9 Nov 10
Well said and I would like to add that never allow anyone or anything someone does change our characters and who we are. Therefore, I am one that will never stoop to any ones level as I remain being myself if the person cannot accept my kindness they will have to deal with their own conscious.
@Jotomy (6352)
• India
15 Nov 10
Hi hardworkinggurl, true, everyone will have their own kind of character. We must adjust with the members leaving their characters how they are. Thanks for your response. Have a wonderful day.
@kalav56 (11502)
• India
22 Nov 10
I disagree with you Jo. I was also like thsi once but now I am changing my attitude. We need to be aware of what people are and how they behave towards us or else we look fools. I used to have this noble attitude earlier but it leads us to a lot of heartache. A right balance has to be maintained and we cannot be losers all the time.If someone treats us badly, we cannot keep exposing ourselves to them all teh time.We need to maintain our self-respect and keep away from them.
@Jotomy (6352)
• India
22 Nov 10
Hi kala, yes according to the changes in the people attitude and the behaviour i feel now we also should change. But what to do i am still like that same as i said, thats what i want to feel to change my attitude. I think after so much of experience we become so bold and hard too. Thanks for your nice response. Have a good day.