Having burden with a friend

Philippines
November 15, 2010 9:32pm CST
Hello I'm having problems with my friend. I hope you guys could help me, I am so sad. My friend stays here in our house, she is gay and had an Aussie boyfriend. she was very much In love with the guy. they have been together for a year and the Aussie guy compromised this Nov.14 to visit our country. I don't know what really happened but he never showed up, never notified and never called. My friend got so depressed, so she invited our other friends to drink and party in my house I have no problems by then but my gay friend starts to treat me differently that it felt like it was all my fault, when the way she treats my other friends was so friendly, but when she faces me it made me feel like I am carrying her whole problem. I advised her and treat her good and patiently cos she is fragile but she never spoke to me. She is very different as if the world has going to end. I don't what to do. I am tired of pleasing her which I know i can't please anybody. but why is she doing this I want to talk to her but she won't talk to me at all. I think she is busy having fun just to forget everything. The saddest part of it is that she's making me an outcast inside my own house. That really hurts..I am hiding in my room for long hours just not to see her. what should I do? please help me...
1 person likes this
5 responses
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
16 Nov 10
It is natural that she would take her problems in the relationship out on someone else and if you are one of the people that she is the closest to, then it would be natural that you would be the person that she would take the problems out on. That said, what I really think that you need to do is have a heart to heart with her. You need to let her know that she is making you feel uncomfortable and if something doesn't change, then there will have to be a change in the current living arrangements.
• Philippines
16 Nov 10
Hello Thanks for your good advice.. I already talked to her but her mind's closed. I think I have to wait for her to approach me...
• Philippines
16 Nov 10
When the going gets tough the girl goes crying. I don't know what to say. But at least, its better to pour all pain than to keep it inside. I don't find fault with her sadness as any human would be hurt by a heartbreaker. Just tell her to stop now because a boy is not worth crying over.
• Philippines
16 Nov 10
Thanks a lot you are a great help...
@natnickeep (2340)
• United States
16 Nov 10
Sometimes people get lost when they have problems. Sometimes it may make them feel better to make others feel worst. This is not something you should let happen though. Open up and tell you friend how you feel. If it was one of my good friends they would understand and try to make it better. It is very hard living with your friends. It can cause problems a lot of the time. Good luck dear.
• Philippines
16 Nov 10
yes it is true that living with your friends is hard, Right Now i feel intimidated and insecure because her other friends are in my house and I don't how to face them...we are just walls apart and I feel I don't want to talk to her right now but just to stay here in my room.. thanks for your great advise.
• United States
16 Nov 10
Oh how sad to read. First of all do not blame yourself as certainly you have done nothing wrong. Perhaps she is very upset and unfortunatly you are the only one near and close she can take this out on. This is wrong of course and she should not allow you to be feeling bad as you have not done anything wrong. I would suggest that you await a few days and definitely bring this up to her. As how can you both live in the same house, especially when it is yours and she treat you this way, and need I stress what the heck do you do to her. She may not open up and be upset, but then how can you both live this way. So I would like to suggest you not direct the conversation as you, you thing. But rather calmly explain that you are sorry her relationship did not work out and if you could change things surely she has to understand you would. However you would like to know what you did to cause her to be upset. See by directing it this way you are not pointing the finger, whereas so many of us when we are upset we immediately feel accused when someone says you. So try that and I hope you two can find some resolution, as surely it has to be so very uncomfortable for you and it is unfair.
• Philippines
16 Nov 10
Hello.. Thank you for your advice, it eases the pain i feel. I am here in my room and she's next to mine and I am thinking how to deal with her, there were times I really feel Intimidated. I don't know how to face her...
@lingli_78 (12844)
• Australia
16 Nov 10
if you didn't do anything wrong, then you shouldn't be afraid to confront your friend... you also don't need to hide inside your room since you are clear conscience... by hiding in your room and do not want to see your friend, you are showing her that you are guilty conscience... if i were you, i will confront her directly and have a chat with her to find out what actually happen... honesty is always the best policy... good luck... take care and have a nice day...