is men's failure women's pleasure ?

@krajibg (11940)
Guwahati, India
November 16, 2010 2:55am CST
Hi folks, Well, cooking is supposedly women’s job. However this does not mean that men are the worst at this business. But if the ratio is viewed men are poor at cooking. Now does this hint at the myth that failure of men in cooking makes women happy? Say my wife cooks for us and whenever I try my hand and fail badly specially in preparing mutton like things she laughs off as if it is her honor that she knows recipe making better and really better than I do. And my failure is not considered a fault in my nature that I can not cook well. Can this fact be universalized that men’s weakness in the kitchen is women’s pleasure? Please share.
5 people like this
25 responses
17 Nov 10
I think that because we have always had the women cooking and men working while the women are at home this statement seems to have stuck. Life has moved on and many women work, just as much as men but it still is the woman that mainly does the cooking. I guess it is just a woman thing, lol. I think nowadays though as there are now many more male chefs around we are used to the men cooking that way but normally in the home it is the woman. Not in my house as i am single and a parent and so it is me that does the cooking, which is good because i do enjoy it and even when i have had relationships in the past, i have cooked for them and things seem to have gone well. I guess that there are many guys out there that either can't cook, don't know how to, or would rather leave it to a woman. Time the men stood up more, got in the kitchen and did some cooking, or even learn to cook, why can't the women put there feet up like men do? Times change so men should also. Is it fair that a man and woman work full time, they come home, the man sits down to watch tv while the woman does the cooking each and everyday? No. Time for men to get some cooking done.
1 person likes this
@krajibg (11940)
• Guwahati, India
17 Nov 10
Hi craigy, Your words are quite convincing. Well you made certain points clear like though men have taken up cooking either on demand of the situation or an intense interest but when things come down to home and making meals it is usually the women folks. Why? Because they have been seasoned like this since time immemorial. Ofcourse, time has changed its course and women are flooding in the work places ( better to feel that way ) and when the duo come home it happens moral obligation of the male counterpart that he too offered his helping hand to his other part. And I too am surprised by the fact that if men can turn out to be the best cook in the world why not women take up this culinary thing seriously and make themselves more at the cozy place.
@jdyrj777 (6558)
• United States
17 Nov 10
Hello this is 2010 cooking IS NOT THE FEMALES JOB!!!!!!! Nodays females have to work outside the home too. It would be really nice if males can share the household chores too. Personally i love a male that can cook.
@krajibg (11940)
• Guwahati, India
17 Nov 10
Yes I accept. Things have taken a great turn and we can not stick the label of cook on the women folks only though in most of the countries across the globe women are still reeling under the feudal lord concept and doing the chores for they love to do so. Those working women of today are different as they feel that it becomes a kind of obligation on the part of male that they too try their hands in the kitchen and the good thing is that men have succeeded in their endeavor. But do you not think that like other feminine things cooking too is something that come quite easily to women than it does to men?
@jdyrj777 (6558)
• United States
17 Nov 10
Most the males i have dated are excellent cooks. What do these non cooking males do if they suddenly find themselves living alone? Find a female to cook for them?
@jdyrj777 (6558)
• United States
18 Nov 10
Yes, every one should become self sufficiant so as not to become dependent upon others.
@celticeagle (117590)
• Boise, Idaho
16 Nov 10
I think that because of this supposed myth woman may get a good laugh occasionally if men can't cook. There are many men who are great chefs and do a great job cooking. Men can see how food should be cooked from a man's point of view or taste. Some can cook and some can't. Look at all the barbequers here in the US. Mostly men! I think it all works out.
@krajibg (11940)
• Guwahati, India
17 Nov 10
Hi celti, Yes, I agree with you that the perspective of men differ from women in cooking or preparing food. And this is quite natural as well. Since cooking food was not men job hence women were intro it and they sort of became adept to it and therefore are more fluent in it than say men are. If men are good cook or chefs this is because they have developed a good knack towards this art called culinary and they have learned it and women acquire it.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (117590)
• Boise, Idaho
17 Nov 10
I think traditionally women have been the cooks when they stayed at home and took care of the family. That is no longer the case. Yes, it is called cullinary whether men do it or women. Both men and women are adept at cooking.
@krajibg (11940)
• Guwahati, India
17 Nov 10
No madam naturally men are not adept in cooking. As I have put it they have learned this art with extra interest.
@calpro (933)
• India
16 Nov 10
Hi, To some extent it is yes, but that does not mean to hurt us men. They enjoy watching, the way we try to prepare something and land up in something else.I know this pretty well,why because I help my wife in kitchen but she never allows me to do it completely she says I can handle kitchen only up to some extent not completely. I help her in making coffee, tea and also preparing noodles, omelet for breakfast etc beyond that my hands wouldn't work. I tried to once prepare a full course meal as an answer to challenge thrown by her,but I was hands up in the middle of the preparation. she laughed like your wife did and she enjoyed all my efforts with admiration and said she likes to watch me trying to please her and help her. Because they love us more. They laugh.
@krajibg (11940)
• Guwahati, India
16 Nov 10
Hi calpro, Exactly. This is what I wanted to explain that when it comes to the kitchen wok women feel that they are better off in it. Not that the wives laugh the evil laugh or the laugh of showing you inferior but of sympathy and a little bit of their ability. I can cook meals but it would never be the same as my wife would do. and she has already developed an impression that I am not a good cook but I feel that provided I pay extra heed to it and am too keen I would succeed to some extent but there is always a but...
@calpro (933)
• India
16 Nov 10
Hey, That is really nice Isn't it ? Wish we would cook and serve them a delicous meal one fine evening. Happy living Krajibg Calpro
@krajibg (11940)
• Guwahati, India
16 Nov 10
Yeah, you are very right. If at all we could overtake them one fine evening and you could sit upon our ABILITY, it would be a nice experience. Thanks a lot...
@dismalgrin (2470)
• United States
18 Nov 10
I am not pleased with my boyfriend for failing in anything, but I am sometimes pleased that I am able to do something he can't. He has an 'older man mentality' sometimes and gets so hung up on all his accomplishments that it makes me want to scream. One day we were leaving school and he was going on and on about how good he thinks he did on test because he is so good at tests and it's not like I'm bad at tests. And often he likes to sit back and tell 'when I was young' stories like he has totally really lived. So, every once in awhile I get to beat him at something and it's an obvious beat and it warms me up and validates me somehow. But, I wouldn't feel like this if he would just shut up sometimes. Women do not want to here self ego boosting all the time. Especially when it boarders on putting us down. Ugg, so when put in a situation where this is happening all the time, of coarse we gloat a little. I mean if your wife were to fail at something you do well, wouldn't you feel a little pleased if you had to hear her bragging all the time about how good at everything she was?
@krajibg (11940)
• Guwahati, India
18 Nov 10
Hi dismalgrin, The paradox is that though women do not like to hear self boosting words from others they themselves indulge in it unknowingly though. I hope you boy friend would wear an up to date mentality with your constant nagging. lol Perhaps yes. When I teach English pronunciation to my son I feel " I AM THE ONLY ONE " feel for his mother is not so strong at it. Probably this is natural and harmless.
• United States
19 Nov 10
Lol, I boost my boyfriend's confidence all the time, he does not need to do it to himself! Lol
@MsTickle (24962)
• Australia
27 Nov 10
Absolutely not and I say that with vehermence. If I had a man who attempted to cook and continually failed I would be terribly disheartened. That would mean I would miss out on having a meal lovingly prepared and served to me, something that rarely happens I assure you. I enjoy cooking and I'm not a bad cook but as with all women, this is a talent that does not come naturally to most and needs to be learned. It seems that a lot of men are born to cook....look at all the great chefs and I see from many, many discussions here that a vast number of guys like to display their talent in the kitchen. To say a man's failure in the kitchen makes a woman feel superior or gives her pleasure is just silly.
@krajibg (11940)
• Guwahati, India
27 Nov 10
Hello msTickle, You are right in saying that men are not the natural cooks for it is a skill for them that is to be learned. And men's failure might not bring pleasure to all women.
• China
18 Nov 10
I don't think so!if I have a boy friend ,I'd like he to share cooking with me!I don't want cooking is my own responsibility!if he can't ,I'll teach him!That someone would like to cook for you is a romantic thing!
@krajibg (11940)
• Guwahati, India
18 Nov 10
Hi, I appreciate your romantic vision on male cooking. But the bare truth is that men are too rigid to make them into the kitchen. However some are willing to do all by themselves. Not bad that men too take up this job to be equal part of the two halves. Thanks for sharing.
@aerous (13474)
• Philippines
18 Nov 10
I think it is best if men know how to cook and not just let his wife cook for himself. It's not a big deal for me if men cook or not. The important thing is that men love his wife and do some kitchen business to serve and show love to his wife
@krajibg (11940)
• Guwahati, India
18 Nov 10
Hi aerous, You are absolutely right. Though women have been in the kitchens for ages now men too should experiment on this job and not only be dependent on women for cooking meals and foods. Thanks for sharing....
@ipenk1000 (207)
• Indonesia
17 Nov 10
i do not think so, not a man can not work in the kitchen but not used. when before they were married i often cook it until marriage even they can surely work in the kitchen
@krajibg (11940)
• Guwahati, India
17 Nov 10
Hi ipenk, sure, men can be good and even excellent cook or say chefs but I was talking about the natural flow of this activity in us. You agree I am sure that compared to men women are there more working in the kitchens.
• Philippines
17 Nov 10
Not exactly, I haven't ever thought about that. In marriage, you have to fill in the weakness of your partner especially when you believe you have strength in that aspect.
@krajibg (11940)
• Guwahati, India
17 Nov 10
Hi, Not exactly in marriage only. There are some issues where you need to focus seriously regardless of your gender. Thanks for sharing.
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
17 Nov 10
First of all I don’t agree that men are generally bad cooks because I know several men who are excellent cooks and much better than I would ever hope to be! There are brilliant chefs out there who happen to be men. I have to wonder whether knowing that you are very good at something and watching someone else attempt that very thing and fail would entice our ego to give us a certain pleasure. I don’t think it is limited to cooking, I think it is just human nature to feel good about what we do well...I don’t think it’s about taking pleasure in another’s fiasco but indulging in the fact that we may excel at something.
@krajibg (11940)
• Guwahati, India
17 Nov 10
Well argued Paula. Look, I have never denied that men were not good cooks nor said there were not better chefs minus women. They are there but my point was not to speak things on such edges. What my intention was to know if that most and really most men fail in the kitchen work is a universal phenomenon and might be women who are good or are relatively good take pride in the fact that they are better off. Now when I fail to make a good dish is my weakness for I never tried seriously to cook properly and when I would make a faint effort in it and if this observed by her she would definitely feel herself superior and that she would laugh is not a grin but of pity or to say sympathy. And those men who have excelled in cooking are not many. Thanks for sharing.
1 person likes this
16 Nov 10
I think men can be good at all things and women can be too, if people stopped getting one up on each other life would be easier.
@krajibg (11940)
• Guwahati, India
17 Nov 10
Hi Yes, that cooking should be all women's business is not to speak that this is not of men's. Men can master this art and becoming good chefs and cooks.
@Hatley (164672)
• Garden Grove, California
16 Nov 10
krajibg thats not true at all as a lot of men are famous chefs and women do not get a kick out of hubbies messing up food that costs real money. No a lot of men can cook but they had the stupid idea thats just a women'a job. I have a feeling that anything a man does not like to do ]he puts off as womens work or job. here in the US a lot of mek coo k in theri own homes and do as good or better than their wives. the thing is they are not raised to think thaat all wor k is just womens work. I am so glad that these old things are no longer bought by our husbands. some couples often cook together.
@krajibg (11940)
• Guwahati, India
17 Nov 10
Hi hatley, Even I hold the view that essentially cooking is a women's job and I do not make any gender biases here but am putting thing from the unfolding of the history of our civilization. think of those days when we would look for better cave and better stone for our living and hunting was the prime job. Men would be after animal for food and women sitting back home would prepare food for men and breed children and thus cooking has passed down to women naturally and is an inseparable quality of womanhood. Men do cook well and better than some women but they have mastered this art and women do not wish to peruse this and there lies the difference.
• Philippines
16 Nov 10
I believe that men are very good cook. I watch cooking shows and I can testify also because my husband really cooks great! When i cook and it tastes better than his, i feel good. Who wouldnt? I don't really cook at all! And if my cooking is better than someone whom everybody knows as a good cook, then i should be rejoicing! shouldnt I? And when someone who is known to be a very good cook (like my husband) fails, isnt it exciting that even for once, this great cook failed! He is like me after all...
@krajibg (11940)
• Guwahati, India
17 Nov 10
Hi janetan, I have never stated that men are bad cooks. I was trying only to highlight on the fact that the cooking business is more attached to women folk as compared to men. Just look at the unfolding of our civilization and see who used to do the most of our household chores. They were our women and hence naturally women are better cook in the sense that they cook quite spontaneously than men do. That your husband and other men are great chefs or cooks do not qualify that men were essentially kitchen folks.
@hushi22 (4941)
16 Nov 10
hahaha. cute! i dont think it is. in my case i think my bf cooks better than me. does that also means my failure is his pleasure? hahaha...
@krajibg (11940)
• Guwahati, India
16 Nov 10
Hi hushi, Well, if your BF cooks better than you this must be your unwillingness to take over the kitchen for yourself and he must be a passionate cook for himself. And this is an exception and you know exceptions are not rules. And I am not saying that they derive pleasure at men's failure Something different might be running through their mind and as a woman you would know it better.
• Mexico
16 Nov 10
Hi krajibg: I think this happends not only with cook but with the things girls think that they are really good at it. I have a friend and she laugh at me when I was trying to do some decorating because she was amazing making things look beautiful and I don't . But I'm sure that this doesn't happend with all girls. ALVARO
@krajibg (11940)
• Guwahati, India
16 Nov 10
Hi ALVARO, Probably you are correct. However we do not talk of men and women equality the fact is that by nature these two genders are set up with different chemistry and mindset. Say this cooking. All have to agree that 90% women across the globe still the owner of the kitchen and might be psychologically we attach the cooking stuff more to women than men. If men have made themselves great cooks it is due to their endeavor and love for cooking. Or else women would be doing all the chores and not men. This why perhaps they take a little bit of benign pride that it is after all their business.
@msg2bz (163)
• Pakistan
16 Nov 10
I believe it is so. Perhaps it depends upon the nature of the women and may differ.
@krajibg (11940)
• Guwahati, India
16 Nov 10
Hi, Even I feel it is so. If a woman prepares a meal of food it is more natural on her part when compared with that of a man.
• United States
16 Nov 10
I can only base my response on what I have seen and can only rely on my experiences. But I am a superb cook and find that no so far I can have can top me. However, my live in boyfriend does a lot of cooking and there are a great number of dishes he exquisitely makes well. I also have frequent many fine dining in my life of which most have been male cooks and they have done an excellent job. So although perhaps not as many as women there are men who can be great cooks.
• Philippines
16 Nov 10
Are you new with your wife? You don't seem to know or understand why she is laughing as I also do not know. I do hate it when a woman bribes her intelligence on knowing what she's good at unless if the woman pities the man's work, its hard to explain. Some men are also good cooks and some women suck at it, so don't consider that it's a woman's job. Men can do more than women, but some of the women has ego large as Africa. Women are just trying very hard to compete with men.
@krajibg (11940)
• Guwahati, India
16 Nov 10
Hi dan, No my friend, I am not new with my wife as we have been married for ten years now. Actually it was my feeling that when a man fails in preparing meals or food in the kitchen a woman feels sort of happiness over her own ability. Surely as some men are better cooks some women are worst. But by and large this is a woman's field.
@dragon54u (31605)
• United States
16 Nov 10
I have found that generally, men are very good cooks. They are not afraid to experiment with different flavors and cooking methods. They do not associate success in cooking with their self image so they are not afraid of failure. Most men I have met are very good cooks, even if they rarely do so. I would not take pleasure in a man's failure in cooking or anything else. That is not healthy.
@krajibg (11940)
• Guwahati, India
16 Nov 10
Hi there, I admit that men are good cooks. This is so for most of them were keen learners and took or take extra care when it comes to cooking which most women do not. In fact I have not any woman airing the words that she really derived pleasure to a man failing in the cooking action. It was rather my personal feeling.