disobey your parent because of your lover.

@asliah (11148)
Philippines
November 16, 2010 7:43pm CST
what will you do, if your parent dont want your lover, will you get anger to your parent? will you disobey your parent because of your lover. really hard to choose.
18 responses
• Philippines
25 Nov 10
Been there. Done that. My mother is very much against my husband. Though it is not applicable to all, in my case, she is right. I should have listened to her a long time ago. I regret my marriage now and many times I want to end it. Parents have reasons for disliking your lover. They see things we don't because we are blinded by our emotions. Just like what happened to me. My mom knows my husband was a drinker and a smoker. He always stays out late and often seen in drinking stations with friends. And now, it's that reason why I am miserable with my husband. So if you are in the same situation, better listen to your parents first. Find out what is it in your lover that they have against. Our parents love us and they are they least expected persons who would try to hurt us. Hope you will be enlightened soon. Never forget to ask God's help and guidance. Take care.
@se7enthbird (8327)
• Philippines
19 Nov 10
if you are not yet in the right age i dont think that it is okay to disobey your parents. this happened to me already. i am married to a person that my parents are against. we are married for 8 years now and we are still deeply inlove. they are against of her and they want me to marry someone they like. but i am old enough to choose and old enough to decide what i want. i choose the person i love and that makes me happy. welcome to mylot asliah
@vicereine (458)
• United States
18 Nov 10
Yeah, I already live with that one and I have just learned to let it go. At first I was upset and tried to convince them to like him and give him a chance which they did but he is kind of a brat sometimes. He is just one of those people that is too pig headed and has to say the last word and my mother isn't really the kind to accept that. She wishes he was more open minded and not so pig headed and stubborn because it does cause problems but it is something we have learned to deal with and when family gets together there are no problems. I was worried that holidays would be a mess but he has learned to behave around my mother and my mother has learned to just stay calm and not say a word. All in all it has worked out because my parents and I have a great relationship and they trust me and don't want to see me upset so they accept things even if it is hard for them to do.
@forance (152)
• China
17 Nov 10
Certaintly,I will try my best to realize it if I do love him.That's for my happiness in my life.
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
17 Nov 10
You would have to decide which relationship means more to your life. Lovers can come and go. they are people we choose to be with. We only get parents once and we are born to them. the best solution would be to try to find a way to make both relationships work together. this can't always be possible. When the situation has to be a choice between parent and lover, you have to search your heart for the answer.
@2004cqui (2823)
• United States
17 Nov 10
I have no idea how old you are or the circumstances around your relationship. A lover? That could be anything. A roll in the hay? Not good at any age. If this person is a fine, upstanding individual, from a fine, upstanding family and I was an adult? I would consider my parents opinion baseless. But if that person was anything less, they are probably right. If I was a minor, I would wait until I was an adult before I made any decision against my parents.
17 Nov 10
Well, i am an adult and so i woul want to be treated like an adult. If my parent did not like my partner (i don't have one at the moment) then it is just tuff. I will not have anyone dictate to me who i should or should not be with. We live our lives our way and so we make our own decisions, if other people are to make our decisions for us then it is more like they are living our lives for us, that is not right. I would have a rational talk with my parent and say ok, you don't like my partner, but i am not getting rid of them, this is the person that i am with and that i love, this relationship will continue with or without your blessing, id also say to my parent that if they truly did love and respect me then they would respect the fact that i have made a decision to be with this person, point out the fact that your partner makes you happy and surely your parent wants you to be happy.
• Philippines
17 Nov 10
If you're in your early twenties then it's probably your decision but if you're 18 or barely, i'd say you listen to your parents. They probably still know the best for you.
@creyos (276)
• Indonesia
17 Nov 10
Hi, I was facing this kind of situation last time and I must say my parents are the best shield for me. I felt that parents can sense something or someone which is good or bad for their children. I disagree if there's parents who just blacklisted our lover without any reasons. Though, I acknowledged on some cases, the parents want our lover with certain criteria, such as he/she should come from the same family class or he/she should be rich. (Lucky that my parents aren't like that) And I think ideally the parents shouldn't force their children to get a lover with such criterias which actually it's nonsense for getting happiness. If that's the case, I think we should fight and ask them what's their points of happiness. In our side, we give proofs to them that he/she is the good one for us and show how strong our relationship. The good lover too would not just back off and give up easily to show that he/she is serious with you and as the opposite, he/she should do the efforts and show the good initiation. But if our parents disagreed because of something they see or feel bad about this guy, please do consider about this guy once again. Their feeling or instinct of something is just as good as a lie detector device, and as strong as the sidekick.
• India
17 Nov 10
i will get anger with my parent but i will not disobey my parent.
@Freezole (246)
• Malaysia
17 Nov 10
If this things happen, firstly i with talk with them both before i made my decision. i don't want to hurt both of them..better have right explanation before go to conclusion.
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
17 Nov 10
If I were to ask if what was my greatest mistake, I would say that I have disobeyed my parents for the sake of the guy who I once loved. I thought that we'd end up fighting for our love until the end but we both gave up.
@calpro (933)
• India
17 Nov 10
Hi Asilah, It happens to get anger when your parents does not want your lover to be a part of your family. It is natural but at the same time we need to remember that, today we are existing on this earth mean that is because of them. Without parents we would have not been here.They take lot of pain in bringing us to this world and giving us what we need and mold us to what we are today. Parents always think of our well being,If we think that our choice of lover is right choice It is better to sit and talk to them. Explain your lover's attitude and his good and positive qualities. I am sure that, they would get convinced if you can give them an assurance that you will be happy with your lover for life. Anger does not solve problems,but it will make it more worse. Respect your parents. Good Luck. Calpro
@nikramos (701)
• Philippines
17 Nov 10
i fear losing my love as i can be really picky when it comes to choosing the man for me so most of the time i risk having to disobey. but being at the right age already, i think i have the decision of who i choose to be with and not. besides, i dont think i would ever choose someone who's not worthy of my time and effort. i dont fall in love easily and when i do i try to really fight for it. not that i dont care for my parents, but i had to talk it out with them that all i want is to be happy so on my part, if i failed with my decision, then i have to accept the consequences and do better next time. i dont want to regret anything and i just asked them to support me whatever happens. thank god for my mom she knows me too well and she understands why i have to deal with these things. she's just worried that i might not be able to handle everything right but i assured her i can; i still ask advice from her anyway.
• United States
17 Nov 10
Although I do not have to worry about a situation of this sort, I would like to say that the boyfriend has to somehow prove his worthy to the parents. Most parents want what is best for their child, however sometimes the child cannot help who they fall in love with. So basically show the parents why this person is good for her and ultimately it is the child's choice, although our parents have much more wisdom, their may be a reason why they do not like the boyfriend. Unless of course they are simply unreasonable parents.
• United States
17 Nov 10
You know the old saying! Momma's know best. You might want to stop and listen to what they have to say. He may have a bad boy rep. but treats you well. Your parents love you and care for you and really do know what's best for you. Think about it. They raised you.
@hushi22 (4940)
17 Nov 10
with my first bf i kinda disobeyed them because they didnt like him, but i asked them to give us a chance. it went out that my parents were right. hahaha
@Sir_bobby88 (8244)
• Singapore
17 Nov 10
No i won't disobey my parents for lover !!!