Is it ok if the woman is older than a guy in a relationship?

@insulin (2483)
Philippines
November 19, 2010 1:55am CST
My fiancee's bestfriend is 30 and his girlfriend is 44,now it came to the point that they broked up since the woman explains the relationship is not working.The girl do have 3 kids,nearly all are grown man and woman too like around 22 years old.Do you think she made the right decision?Or not?Me and my man worries about him since he loves her so much but it looks like the girl is not interested with him anymore.We don't wanna voice out any advice since it's critical situation.
8 people like this
38 responses
• Philippines
19 Nov 10
in my own perception. age gap is a no no no big deal in a relationship. the reason is that it is not your age the he or she loved. it is the whole you regardless of your age. age is not what matters,it is your feelings for each other.
1 person likes this
@insulin (2483)
• Philippines
19 Nov 10
Your right but age gap will also rule or involved in the relationship just like my relationship right now,WE love each other and this always be.I am woman but younger than my man for more than 9 years but the decision making is not fair I can say.There will be big difference.
@shia88 (4582)
• Malaysia
19 Nov 10
Hi, ACtually age is not really big issue for a relationship to carry on,as long as, the couples feel comfortable with it and they love each other,then it should be fine. But for me, of course, I prefer to have my man older than me. I like mature guy definitely...it gives me secure feeling.
1 person likes this
@insulin (2483)
• Philippines
19 Nov 10
I think It's way better if the man is older than me as I don't know how to handle younger one as I am young too.Your right,that's what I'm looking for too.The feeling of being secure.
• United States
19 Nov 10
My boyfriend is 30 and I am 41 I am going all the way with this relationship. Nothing and no one could stop me. he is everything I need and want in my life. I think the woman chose what was best for her. if my boyfriend wanted more kids that would be the only thing to seperate us two. But,he has two kids and I have my one. Perfect for me.
• Portugal
20 Nov 10
thats cute that for you it didnt bother you^^ i guess he was the boy you said you met online right? and would meet near and was afraid to keep going liking him bcs age. isnt it? im very happy that all worked well with you and him^^ is good that you have kids and accept each other's kids too^^ age doesnt matter really as long as both are happy.
• United States
20 Nov 10
yes he is on the train right now on his way to my house. i think it will all work out.
@Freezole (246)
• Malaysia
20 Nov 10
nice to hear that, good luck my friend. wish you happy always..have a nice days..
@pit33pit (534)
• Indonesia
13 Dec 10
I think the age difference lies only in a matter of number. most importantly how they are at the beginning of the relationship can accept the shortcoming and strengths of each partner. how do you think about this ???
@ElicBxn (60869)
• United States
7 Dec 10
14 years at that age is a BIG difference, not as bad as 34 and 20, but still quite a difference, her kids aren't that much younger than he is I hope he can get over her and move on, but don't expect it to be quick or easy
@MsTickle (24962)
• Australia
28 Nov 10
It's really no-one's business but the 2 people involved. If you are close to them and feel they are making a mistake you should speak up. Close Friends and family need our love and support along life's way but specially when important decisions are being made. There's no need to be critical or nasty or going behind their backs. Either give them the support and encouragement they need to be ok either singly or as a couple or back off and mind your own business. Why do we find it so easy to talk about people we love and yet we don't talk to them?
@goldeneagle (6775)
• United States
27 Nov 10
My wife is seven years older that me, and it has not caused a problem in our relationship. We have been married almost ten years. Age only becomes an issue in a marriage/relationship if the people involved allow it to become an issue. As long as a couple is happy together, age should not be a factor.
@celticeagle (118210)
• Boise, Idaho
23 Nov 10
I think that alot of younger men like older women. I have personally seen that alot. They like the woman to be more experienced and I guess not so needy as alot of younger women seem to be. I know I was when I was younger. Very emotional and not real big in the self esteem area. Give your friend some time and see how they do together. You might be pleasantly surprised.
@bagumbayan (2707)
• Philippines
22 Nov 10
I see no reason why there will be love gap if the woman is older and vice versa. As long as there is love between the two of them there will be no problem. As the saying goes, age does not matter.
• Italy
22 Nov 10
The only thing matters is your metal understandings, nothing else matters in any relationship. Let them enjoy their life if they are both happy then its ok.
@jdyrj777 (6558)
• United States
21 Nov 10
The population in general does not see anything wrong with the male being the older of the two in the couple. I dont see why they have a problem with it if the female is older. Personaly i say its nobodies business except the two people that are in the relationship. As long as they are happy.
• India
21 Nov 10
Hello usually the man is older than the woman with whom he is in some kind of relationship or married, though it may not be essential, in my place the marriages are arranged by the parents, we always choose a boy older than the girl No man will marry a woman older than him!!!!! Thank you so much. Professor. . Cheers have a great day ahead. God bless you. Welcome always.
@dismalgrin (2470)
• United States
21 Nov 10
Personally, I would not go for a guy that much younger than me. I would just feel icky about it... well at my age right now getting a guy that much younger than me would be a crime. Lol, but seriously I like men my age or a little older, that just fits me best. My ex was 14 years older than me and that was a huge disaster of a relationship. My boyfriend now is only a few months older than me and I feel that it is working out much better. However I do think that age is just a number and you love who you love, if a guy falls in love with a woman older than him, well, that's him. I don't think that relationships don't work out based on age. But, I do think that if that woman does not feel the relationship is working then he should respect that. It probably has nothing to do with their age that makes her feel like that. I mean, presumably they knew each-others ages when they first got together. I don't really see that becoming an issue now.
@aerous (13474)
• Philippines
21 Nov 10
For me there is not big deal if the woman is older with the man. Relationship didn't choice about age it is about love. Well, that really sad that the woman did not love her husband. Maybe that lady find someone whom she have intimate relationship that is why she suddenly change
@jambi462 (4598)
• United States
20 Nov 10
I think it's perfectly fine if either of the partners is older then the other one. I don't really think that love should be limited by anything especially attributes of the person such as height, weight, ethnicity, religion, or age. I'm sure there's even more that people may have holding them back at the shot of love. My girlfriend is about a year older then me but I still love her with all my heart. I don't really think that such petty things as age should hold us back from a person that could possibly change the rest of our life for the better. That's the reason I feel like my girlfriend may very well be the one that I want to base my life around and work to not only benefit me but her as well. A relationship should be based on the grounds on whether or not you benefit each other and whether or not you are truly in love with one another. It shouldn't be decided on what society thinks a relationship should be like
@tjades (3592)
• Jamaica
20 Nov 10
Even though I am personally not comfortable with the idea of my partner being that much older than I am I will admit that it all boils down to the love and compatibility of the persons involved. In your friends case I would say I hope he gets over it soon. If the woman is no longer interested then there is very little he can do to change her mind.
@Freezole (246)
• Malaysia
20 Nov 10
so good to read all the comment/response, most of them agree age doesn't matter in love. so as long there a feel the love and understanding each other so they will make it. i also like to read those who post real experience for sharing. In your case, i guess you should ask your friend to talk to his girlfriend. Asking why, make a confession, understand the situation both of them and make the best decision. Anyway your friend should not push to hard because the decision is in his girlfriend. get ready to accept anything happen. good luck to your friend. Have a nice days everyone here.
20 Nov 10
Everybody is different, sometimes age can get in the way in different ways, like maturity, having experienced things before, etc. To me age is not a factor, well aslong as they are an adult, i mean that we fall in love with people for many different reasons, age should not be a factor that stops us from being with someone. Age is just a number, feelings are more important. I am single and i am 33 years old, i have had many relationships, i would say that about 98% of my ex girlfriends are all older than me, i always really go for older women, i guess i find them more sensible, laid back, been there and done it, experienced many things and also would be ready to settle down, ok as yet i have not met the right person but i would say if she is out there then she will more than lightly be older than me, the way you feel about someone could be so strong, aslong as the love is there and you connect well then i don't see why age should be a problem.
@aeiou78 (3457)
• Malaysia
20 Nov 10
Although a man and a woman are both at the same age, NORMALLY the woman is looking more older than the man in few more years. This is most of the people believed. It is unbeleiveable that a man around his 30, loves a 14 years older woman who has few more children around 20 years old. I did have a friend with the same problem too. It couldn't last for long. Later, he married with a few years younger wife and have two children. Their marriage life is very happy and good now. I think mostly your friend are making a mistake which he never realised. In my friend case, he was missing his mother very much when he was a child. His mother left the whole family and remarried. He missed the love and concern from his mother. That might be the reason he felt better to go with someone much more older whom could concern and love him as his mother.
@derek_a (10902)
20 Nov 10
At first, if there is a large age gap then it can really feel that it doesn't matter at all to both partners. But each partner in the relationship needs to consider that later on, there could be differences, though not necessarily so. The older partner may feel insecure especially is he/she looks older and the other partner has stayed looking youthful. Once insecurity enters a relationship, then arguments can start and the younger partner may even feel trapped. As a therapist, I have dealt with many similar relationship problems and when there is an age gap, there also needs to be a lot of understanding and acceptance of either partners insecurities for it to work. As human beings,many of tend to quit a relationship if the going gets too difficult. The key to a successful relatioship is total acceptance of each other's problems and a willingness to work things out by telling the truth. Again, where lies enter a relationship, it begins to deteriorate. It is a lot more complicated than anybody can write in a post though. Relationship problems are so complicated that there are thousands of books that address them. And still they occur... _Derek