Bad mom or just oblivious???

United States
November 22, 2010 7:14am CST
First off I am not a mom yet, but I have been around many babies and children(I have over 50 cousins on my moms side) Ok so recently I started babysitting a friend's daughter who is 18 months old. She is the cutest thing ever and a great baby. Well her parents are going through a divorce and her mother only gets visitation right now. This last weekend she was with her mom, and her mom pretty much didn't know what to do. She had to ask when her own daughter ate, took a nap, and everything in between. I just wanna know if this is her just stupid and not really caring or is she really oblivious to her own daughter's needs? What do you guys think?
1 person likes this
4 responses
• Canada
22 Nov 10
Thats a hard question to answer. Who did she need to ask these things to, and was she with her daughter the last time she ate, took a nap? Or was she picking her up and asked her daughters father? If she had her daughter and had to ask the people around her, or you...then I would say maybe she could be paying better attention. I also think there is a difference between not caring and being a "bad" mom, and just learning and being unsure and not confident...but still having the love and the wanting to do better....having all the best intentions? I do however think that the mother not having custody says alot about her inability to care for her daughter....or at least the court thinks this for some reason? Or it just could be she dosnt have a permanent house, or something else totally not related to her care of her daughter. I dont really know the situation. I do think though some mother just dont have the same maternal instincs as others, and some are simply a little air headed or laid back then others which to some might seem like a bad mom.
1 person likes this
• Canada
22 Nov 10
I also wanted to add, from my experience, the more time you spend with mother and child a better understanding you will have of the relationship and if she is a good mom or bad mom.
@glowwy (94)
• United States
29 Nov 10
Some people just wasn't cut out to be moms.
@dorannmwin (36695)
• United States
24 Nov 10
Honestly, this is really a difficult one to answer. The fact that she is now with her daughter on a regular basis says that she doesn't really know her child and because of that she really isn't familiar with her daughters habits and schedules. Now, what I would say if the daughter was with her mother all the time is that she would be oblivious to her child's needs. It is so hard to tell when a parent isn't able to spend a lot of time with their child.
@CRIVAS (1822)
• Canada
22 Nov 10
Interesting discussion. At this point, I don't know the whole story so I can only guess on this one. Firstly it sounds as though in the year and a half that her child has been alive, this lady has spent little to no time with her daughter. If that is not the case and the weekend visits just started, I have to say that this girl should not be a mother. I have 2 children of my own and after the first week of having my first daughter, I got into a routine and was able to do a pretty good job on my own. With my second (who came 10months after her sister) it was the same way, even though it was harder cause I had a toddler and a new born to take care of. I think that this girl has not been around her child long enough to know the child's needs and this makes me wonder if she is fit to have a child. I am not saying that she is a bad person, only that she really doesn't sound ready to have children. I hope that this situation resolves itself in a manner that is good for everyone involved. Happy Mylotting.