He's trying to get back in her life

United States
November 27, 2010 2:46pm CST
My cousin has a beautiful baby girl with her ex-boyfriend who use to do NOTHING for the baby after she was born. He refused to take care of her when my cousin was working and would never pay for diapers, formula or whatever. However I knew he had the money since he had enough to buy cigarettes and brand new sneakers for himself. Now, all of a sudden, he wants to be involved in their daughter's life and my cousin's. He's buying their daughter gold bracelets and asking to spend time with her and texting my cousin constantly saying that he misses her. I find this interesting because he did not start acting like this until his recently after his girlfriend dumped him and my cousin is now dating a great guy who adores her daughter. I know the he is trying to get back with my cousin, using their daughter to do so. Last night he text her, asking her to go with him so he could buy a Christmas gift for their daughter. She already gave him a list of toys that he could buy. I mean, its great (and about time) that he wants to be in his daughter's life, but I hope that my cousin stays with her current boyfriend and just lets her ex remain as that.
2 people like this
12 responses
@ebuscat (5935)
• Philippines
28 Nov 10
For me if his ex is not good provider then why to wait for that guy who is not good to him? if she dating to other guy who is good provider then go.
• Hungary
28 Nov 10
I absolutely agree.
@Amberina (1541)
• United States
27 Nov 10
Me too I mean they are ex's for a reason and if he is serious about seeing the baby then your cousin needs to keep it strictly about the baby maybe bring her new boyfriend around when they meet up to exchange items for the baby. There is a bond women have with men they have babies with and it's hard for some women to stop feeling the "love" for the father of their child. Hopefully she can stay on the right path with this new boyfriend.
• United States
27 Nov 10
So true. That's a good idea, bringing along the new boyfriend. Maybe that will help him realize that she has moved on and he should too. Crossing my fingers.
@mehta_dk (28)
• India
28 Nov 10
According to me this can be looked upon as the matter of jealousy.The ex. didnot even talked before the present bf came in her life, now when suddenly they are living a happy life he wants to messi t up all. Dont take it wrong this are just views.
• Philippines
29 Nov 10
i knew someone who really has the same personality as you cousin's ex..you are right with your speculations that he is just using the daughter to get her back..let us pray that your cousin will not fall again to the bate. they had their chance, but it didn't work, if he is really sincere then he'll let that relationship stay that way and move on. knowing that he is the father, he should not dwell on gifts alone, he should think that he has also to participate in providing the child's needs, but his shallow head could not think that deeper. he is overpowered with greed that he thinks he owns the mother & child and does not want anyone to claim them as their own, he is threatend by the presence of the new guy, and now he's back to claim what he think is his. do not worry, with all the good advices that your cousin is receiving from those who love her and constant prayer, everything will turn out right.
• Philippines
28 Nov 10
trying 2 be a father to his child is a positive response of course. i couldn't see any negative with d situation esp. both parties are not yet tied of d marriage life. i think, i can see a family when d 3 of them are together unless ur cousin doesn't love him anymore so that would be another story. her ex's act towards their baby isn't an issue. he has legal rights provided for by law being d baby's dad unless it appears when he's just using d child 2 take advantage of d present scenario. anywys ur couz will feel d intention, if there's really something fishy goin' on. (; anyhow ur concern reflects how much u care & love ur cousin! (: that's sweet of u!
@mustread (224)
• Bulgaria
28 Nov 10
It's good that the baby could have a father figure in her life , but all this seems a little fishy. It would be better if your cousin is careful and have in mind what happened in the past.
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
28 Nov 10
i won't be letting him to come back into my life and my daughter's life if it is my case... he is a total jerk... it is too late if he wants to come back into our lives now... i won't even give him a chance... i think the only reason he wants to come back to your cousin is because his girlfriend dumped him like what you say... so once he finds another girl, i am afraid he will leave your cousin again... please be careful of this type of men... i've seen many of them... take care and have a nice day...
@Soniasony (1827)
• India
28 Nov 10
He needs his daughter's lov , so let him have it..She loves to be with her current friend , so let her be with him...But daughter is going to face some issues if the love for her is in parts like this one ..Any way happy for him ..
• India
28 Nov 10
Your cousin would stay with her current boy friend than going back to ex. He never realised the value when she was earning and taking care of her daughter and now all of a sudden he wanted to come back to her life. How can she accept him. He does not like her dating with new boy friend thats it. So it would be better she never accepts him.
• United States
28 Nov 10
I pray that your cousin see's through this ploy of her ex. Now that she has someone in her life that is treating her the way she should be, he wants to interfere. Been there done that. I would appreciate the help he is giving to his daughter but that is it. As far as going shopping with him ect. for the daughter he needs to do this on his own. He doesn't need hand holding for this. Besides I am sure he has family or friends that have kids he could ask help with this. It is nice to have the father involved, just make sure it is for the right reasons.
• Philippines
28 Nov 10
Yeah, the ex was horrible the first time around but the truth is more women are more courageous when taking care of a child than men. Maybe he was just overwhelmed and all. And it's very hurtful when your own kid is being held away from you.
@Cutie18f (9551)
• Philippines
28 Nov 10
Let your cousin decide. After all, he is still the father of her daughter. If your cousin still loves the father of her child, then it is no use being with her current boyfriend because her heart tells her otherwise. People change. Her ex-bf may have realized what he really wants now. The past is past. Only your cousin can decide for herself.