How to overcome some unpleasant days?

@Lotswits (176)
Hong Kong
November 30, 2010 9:47pm CST
Hi guys, I am going to share some of my situations. Recently, I quit my job as a waiter and now I almost stay at home all day long. Sometimes, my mon will munble at me and ask me to find a job as soon as possible. It really annoys me since it was not the first time. I think the members at home are all disappointed with me. Should I move from my family? I just have such an intension.
4 people like this
12 responses
1 Dec 10
The similar situation to me. The job what i'm doing now is hard but little pay. The most important is i can not see propect. So my way to solve is doing the job, at the same time, finding a another job. But you already quit the job. I can understand your stree from your family,your deep heart. All i can see is hang on,buddy. Everything gonna be ok.
1 person likes this
@Lotswits (176)
• Hong Kong
3 Dec 10
You are smarter than me. The only way to solve such dilemma is to find a new job, even though it is not a complete answer to my problem. Thank you for your reponse.
• India
1 Dec 10
Hi, At this point of time, if you move away from your family you will incur additional costs, which will be too much for you as you're working as a waiter. So that is only the last option. You should explore some other options now. May be your family is disappointed with you because they don't see any prospects in the job you're currently doing. They are upset because they think you've not yet realized your true potential and that you're satisfied with little without aspiring for more. Now its your responsibility to change that conception of your family. You should first calm yourself and free your mind from all aggressive resistance that you've put against the arguments of your family. They are pushing you more because they think you're not understanding their arguments. So you better find a way to make them believe that their propositions are of the greatest importance to you and that you're trying hard to get a new job. You should also inform them about the current economic situation of your country where getting a job isn't easy anymore. Do whatever you need to make them believe that you're actually TRYING. You're looking for a better opportunity and the job as a waiter is not what you yourself planned for. You will quit the job as soon as you get a better one. If your efforts are sincere and your logic is clear then they will understand you in time. Just be patient with that. Thanks. God bless you.
1 person likes this
@Lotswits (176)
• Hong Kong
2 Dec 10
Yes, that maybe a solution. I am not only to find a job but also to change the conception of my family. I need to be patience and sincere. My plan should also be showed as to gain their support. What they think is probably like:" our oldest son should be more successful from now, we are worried about his situation..." I need to remove the "rock" that also concerned them. And the conclusion is, I shall learn hard and then find better job. After all the efforts, I'll still choose to leave. The good news is I can have a free room and time. The bad news is I'll spend another period with them.
@maean_19 (4662)
• Philippines
1 Dec 10
I feel sad for you my friend. But to tell you frankly, that is only a shallow situation compared to my situation or other people's situation. It is really unpleasant when people around you or your family will scold you or mumble at you for being jobless. Perhaps, they expect you to have something for your own or to help them in the expenses. At these times, it is really tough to find a job without any part time. You have to consider your family situation too. You are thinking of moving away, do you think that is the solution or an escape? You have to be practical my friend.
1 person likes this
@Lotswits (176)
• Hong Kong
2 Dec 10
Oh, you are rational. Sometimes, I am furious about what my parents and my brother said. Are they striving to find a solution? No, they are just putting pressure on me. I don't think they are considerate and I haven't expect them to do so. Yes, I would help them in the expenses even though I moved out from the house. It is neccessary to be independant both on economical and psycological.
@khayshenz (1387)
• United States
1 Dec 10
I'm sure there's a valid reason why you quit your job. But if you don't have a job and decide to move out from your parent's house, how are you gonna pay for rent, bills, etc? I suggest you look for a job first, then consider moving out if you really have to. But if you think that you'll be ok living at home with your new job - then just stay at home. At least you don't have to pay rent! Good luck!
1 person likes this
@Lotswits (176)
• Hong Kong
1 Dec 10
I hope so!
@mopingz (82)
• Indonesia
1 Dec 10
hmm.. this is a dilemma situation. in a one side you want to find a job, but in the other side, you need a spare time to think and not to be disturbed. maybe, my suggestion, you need to solve this by green way, talk with your family softly, and explain that you will find a job soon. that't the ideal situation. but there is another alternate ways, you need to spare your time with your friend more often, no need to move from your family. i'm feeling relaxed if i'm going with my friend. who knows that your friend can help you to find a job. ok, that's just my idea. hope it'll help you. :D
1 person likes this
@Lotswits (176)
• Hong Kong
1 Dec 10
Thanks for your suggestions. I wish I were you coz I only have very few friends. I am not accompanied by them very often. Maybe I can talk with my family first and act at once. I just hope I can find a better job.
@toniganzon (44868)
• Philippines
1 Dec 10
If you really feel comfortable moving out and living independently then I think it's about time that you do, since you get annoyed by people around you telling you what to do. And maybe when you move out, you can find your own job and try to earn more on your own without depending on anybody!
1 person likes this
@Lotswits (176)
• Hong Kong
1 Dec 10
I wish I could be but I don't have such an ability. First, the rent in HK is extremely high, about 50% of what I can earn. Next, I don't have a stable job. I think I can move out in the future while I have enough savings. Thanks for response.
@gelay07 (589)
• Philippines
3 Dec 10
whatever you plan to do in your life is your own look out. dont wait for your family to get angry at you for not getting a job.. you cant blame them though. for the mean time,do household chores or anything worthwhile instead of doing nothing. in other words be useful. hehehehe. i hope you can a find job soon bec. its not easy to be at home doing nothing.
@Lotswits (176)
• Hong Kong
25 Dec 10
Yeah, even I have the patience, they don't. That's strange. A person that spent a long time with them, however, they are not willing to wait a few days. I would not blame them anymore, take a job and support the family is a part of responsibilty. Thanks!
@Cutie18f (9564)
• Philippines
2 Dec 10
First,I think you really need to assess your life at this point of time. You may want to move out from your family but before you do that, make sure that you will be able to support yourself or you might end up in the streets penniless. Now that you are still with your parents, find a job real quick and then you can say goodbye to your family.
@Lotswits (176)
• Hong Kong
2 Dec 10
Hey, you are interesting. It is real that I need to find some way to support my life. I actually find some way to say my goodbye no matter how and when.
@stand87 (667)
• Bulgaria
1 Dec 10
Hi, pal! I understand what you're talking about! Actually, I experienced the same thing about one year ago. It was awful for me. I was not able to live such life. I found a job and everything changed. I can say it's better now. In my opinion, you just have to find a new job. Then you will be able to find your own place and live your own life. Well, until your brother come over your place and ruin all your life (of course, that's a part of another story ;-] ). The last one was just a joke :) Just have a good time! You have to know that you'll always have all these unpleasant days while you're spending your time staying at home. It's never gonna get better this way! Greetings!
@Lotswits (176)
• Hong Kong
2 Dec 10
Thanks for your understanding! Oh yes, such experience is awful. No one could help you and no one would try to understand you. I hope I can find a better job and then everything is ok.
• Singapore
1 Dec 10
If that's what you think, follow your heart. I'm not encouraging you to just move out and not care about your family. What I'm trying to say is that, if you need some time to think, but you can't tell your family, then pick a day or two to be out for the whole day and think about what you're going to do. Maybe you can ask a friend out for help or seek a listening ear, have someone listen to your troubles and that person could help you out? I know it's hard to be out of a job. No money to foot the bills and when at home, parents keep on nagging and often see you as a pain and have totally no regard for you. I understand that. Maybe if you try talking to your parents, they could understand?
@Lotswits (176)
• Hong Kong
25 Dec 10
If they can understand how I feel, why they can keep nagging and see me as a pain? I don't like to communicate with them, may be that's the price for them to treat me like that. Our relationship may be not as bad as I think, But it definitely not as good as other families have. If I can follow my heart, I wish I could do very well. It's good to follow the truth. Thanks for your advice.
@huqh123 (182)
• China
1 Dec 10
yes, from what you day, i find that you stay at home without working. in my opinion, you need to find the new job. If you find a good job, all your family members will be happy for you and they will help you a lot. sometimes hwn our parents munble at us, it is because they ahve high expection and you know , they have give us so much love. so we need to think form their side, and try our best to find a job and let them feel happy for you. they could not bear any worries for you. if you are old enough to go out working, it is you to take the duty.
@Lotswits (176)
• Hong Kong
25 Dec 10
Even they have high expectation, but in seriously speaking, they never try to understand what their childern think and why they do something. I don't like somebody staying at home aimlessly either. I will find a job eventually. But I don't understand why they get mad so easily, is their patience used up? A home without love is just a house. It has been a house for a while. Getting a new job only is not a solution, I need to talk and do something. Thanks!
@calajane (1005)
• Poland
1 Dec 10
I appologize beforehand if my response hurts you or offends you in any way. It is not my intention, however I do have some strong opinions on the subject. See, I believe that everybody should at least try pulling their weight. Which means either working and earning money to help with bills at home, or helping around the house. It's okay if you quit your job because you don't find it fulfilling. But at the same time, sitting at home and aimlessly surfing the net is not okay. Especially not okay to your family, who needs to support you in your aimlessness. It's true that sometimes parents don't understand that we want to do thing our way, but at the same time it's not okay to expect them to support you without expecting anything in return. So I think you should talk to your mom and discuss what it is you weant and wha she wants (apart from you getting a job). I'm sure the situation can be resolved.
@Lotswits (176)
• Hong Kong
25 Dec 10
Thanks for your advice. Actually, I want to be a writer online. I just don't have the talent to deal with others. Sometimes the job screwed up because I haven't smiled at the right time, at the right place, to the right person. I had thought that I should take a job that I can repair something lifeless so that nobody would hurt by a unsocial person. Writing is kind of one-man job, even though you need stay connected with your readers, you don't need to see them face to face. Maybe lose a job mean you are aimless, and yes, it was an unpleasant moment. It's just like a boat floating on the Pacific Ocean with no destination. If Columbus is on board, then he'll never find the new land. The first thing is to confirm my aim (aparting from getting a stable job). And at the right time, I will be doing what I really like to do.