What should we do to a good friend who betrayed us?

@gengeni (3308)
Indonesia
December 1, 2010 11:34am CST
I have good friends, I made friends with him was almost 7 years. And for that we always share the love, and sorrow. We help each other and cherish. And, since 3 years ago I liked a person and I always tell or vent to my friends that about people I like and wish that my friend helped me to approach people that I liked it, all my secrets were my friend already know. However, today my friend is actually dating with people that I like it. According to you, whether it is a betrayal?
2 people like this
15 responses
@buggles64 (2715)
• United States
2 Dec 10
I would think that "yes" your friend betrayed you if she knowingly started dating someone that you liked or had feelings for. However, if she did not know that you had feelings for this person, than I would not consider that betrayal. Ultimately, there is not a lot you can do when someone betrays your trust. You can let her know how you feel about the situation, distance yourself from the friendship while she is "dating" the said person and "forgive and forget." Sometimes that is especially hard, but if we're not careful, hatred and begrudging someone can only hurt ourselves more than the other person. I am sorry that you have endure pain such as this.
• India
2 Dec 10
I think You are lucky because you came to know about your friend soon with no much of harm.Life is long.
@gracielle (346)
• Philippines
2 Dec 10
Yes at some point she betrayed you, but yet you don't have the right to get really that mad. Honestly that happened to me before but I did not get mad because I'm not what he wanted, it's my friend that he wants so I gave in.... Months passed.... and then the weird thing happened, my friend like someone who turned to be in love with me..Things turned up side down & it's now on my favor.. And you know that man whom she likes but is in love with me turned out to be my husband.. Life has funny ways only the future knows where it is leading.. there's a man for you, wait & be surprised.. :)
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
2 Dec 10
Nobody wants to be betrayed. it is a hurt that never goes away. When a good friend is the betrayer, this pain seems even worse to bear. Learning how to forgive those that betray us is part of life. Forgiving those who have hurt us and are very close to us is often a harder lesson to learn.
@deve_annrn (1857)
• Philippines
2 Dec 10
If she used to be a good friend of mine.., I will forgive her even if she betrayed me.., but of course.., i cannot forget that easily.., so I guess.., the friendship that we used to have will not be regained...
• India
2 Dec 10
It happened wid me also , but i just kicked him out of my life i didnt say anything neither abused him . Now his punishment is loosing his best friend .
@ebuscat (5949)
• Philippines
2 Dec 10
For me yes in this world it is never dislike to be with that kind of friend.
@Jiabsa (512)
• India
2 Dec 10
I'm so sorry to tell you the truth that the mistake is in our side. Why did you allow your friend to be more close with your lover? Introducing your lover to your friends are ok. Nothing wrong in it. But don't create an opportunity to make a close relationship with your lover and your friends. Learn from mistake. Be careful!!!!
@Jotomy (6084)
• India
2 Dec 10
Hi gengeni, i can't say that your friend betrayed you, ask him directly. You know i made a friend through online about 6 months now, but he has a tendency to make new girl friendship which really annoys me, but we can't say or stop anything regarding their will and wish. I left to that friend, what else we can do, i just pray god to give whatever they ask. I feel happy if they are happy. Have a good day.
@shia88 (4582)
• Malaysia
2 Dec 10
Hi, I would say....your friend is not a good friend. How can she dates with the man that you like and without letting you know in advance. Since you like the guy first and ask for her help, how dare she take away this guy from your hand. If she really treats you as her good friend, she should not be out for date with this man. Never mind, since you know her action now, not too late to stop seeing her. She is not a real good friend and you mau consider to end this friendship.
@chuyins123 (2118)
• Philippines
2 Dec 10
Hi gengeni, just a piece of advice, PUT THINGS BACK WHERE THEY WERE. Value the person and not the offense. We all get offended every now and then, there are those that we say, big deal and not quite big deals but we should always be reminded, that the offense is not the person that we shared our life with. So, even when you were hurt and feel betrayed for what happened with your friend and the person you like, I hope you would have the nerve to decide to PUT THINGS BACK WHERE THEY WERE, forgive your friend. And be just as a dear friend to her as you were before. Things would be better if we learn to let go of the offense and cherish and treasure our relationships with others, specially best pals. Chose to forgive, it's liberating and it's a bilateral gift, because it's for you and your friend. God bless you gengeni, have a happy life! :D
• Philippines
2 Dec 10
hi gengeni. if for seven years, you already shared every love and sorrow with your, trust within your friendship also exists. if you trust your friend then feel no worries if he/she came to the point of people you had liked. if you value your friendship, better to talk with him/her and tell what you feel about towards the situation of him/her dating people you like. since a true friend will always listen not just by ear, but most of all by heart. ask him/her to go on a date with you, and talk about whats going on with your friendship. and why not go on with a group date, with the people you like and your friend for seven years. its the best way of getting to know, both of your friend and those you like. about your question, i dont think this is betrayal, since if he/she is a good friend with you, he/she must know about what you are feeling. and be open in any possibilities that sometimes, there where also new people, that would go along your way that you, also be your friend. :)
• China
2 Dec 10
Maybe you should make sure your friends dating with the man you likes for what's purpose,bcoz maybe she wants to help you approch the person you like ^otherwise, when she knows clealy that the person you like and then dating with him.it's so called betrayal
@Rahulsan (83)
• India
1 Dec 10
That totally depends on a number of details. I cannot say with only what you have asked, whether your friend has betrayed your trust. If you and the person you like have been in a relationship and then your so called best friend dates the person you like then you can call it a betrayal. But if you have not made an attempt to meet the person you like then your friend has not betrayed you by dating the person you like. If you have been friends for so long i really feel that it is not good enough to break up just because of a crush. In life, love comes and goes, but true friends should never to be lost for love.
• Oman
1 Dec 10
hmmmm first the of all , i hope you are feeling fine. I think it all depends, does your friend know you still like this person? and if he does know and he is still doing it then yes, i agree with you that that is betrayal. But if he is does not know then i think you are close enough with your friend to just have a talk with him and tell him how you feel and im sure he will understand and thats what friends are for.