I Didn't Apply for a Year :-(
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
Philippines
December 4, 2010 3:58am CST
Hello People
This isn't really something I want to Open up with. but the end of 2010 is Near. I guess I can tolerate bashing for now (In this discussion, but no negative rating).So that i can let this worst despair feeling Go.
I don't KNOW really what happened to me since 2008, seemed to have lost my will some how. I remember still when i used to have my pants, long and short sleeves ready as I iron them the night before i go to sleep. and then wake up for the interview of a Job. My eldest had been asking me to help him check the Job section in the News Paper but i know he wanted me look already. Last time, he used to keep asking me if when am i gonna get a job, I made that discussion that "I BLEW UP" because i unconsciously got insecure with the question. But I know he's concerned..deeply.
Of course, there was Election 2010. but I guess now i regret it since i should have been neutral and just apply instead, let those people debate here and there. No more politics for me, that's for sure.
You know I did tried to set my mind into this again by taking care of my Important Requirements first coming from mylot funds a few months ago. but then, i stop again. there are times i wonder when did i became so hopeless in this task. and I don't want to start being Hypocrite again by going to church and asking God for help while I have lost my will and Interest in this.
Actually, Since I took the Entrepreneurship Course, I should be starting my Business and not looking for work
. It really sucks the choice that i make now a days, and probably This is the worst decision in my Life time.
I don't need advice, i don't think i can do them now. I feel lost.
PS: If you think it's the economy, for me, am through with my own excuse 
This isn't really something I want to Open up with. but the end of 2010 is Near. I guess I can tolerate bashing for now (In this discussion, but no negative rating).So that i can let this worst despair feeling Go.
I don't KNOW really what happened to me since 2008, seemed to have lost my will some how. I remember still when i used to have my pants, long and short sleeves ready as I iron them the night before i go to sleep. and then wake up for the interview of a Job. My eldest had been asking me to help him check the Job section in the News Paper but i know he wanted me look already. Last time, he used to keep asking me if when am i gonna get a job, I made that discussion that "I BLEW UP" because i unconsciously got insecure with the question. But I know he's concerned..deeply.
Of course, there was Election 2010. but I guess now i regret it since i should have been neutral and just apply instead, let those people debate here and there. No more politics for me, that's for sure.
You know I did tried to set my mind into this again by taking care of my Important Requirements first coming from mylot funds a few months ago. but then, i stop again. there are times i wonder when did i became so hopeless in this task. and I don't want to start being Hypocrite again by going to church and asking God for help while I have lost my will and Interest in this.
Actually, Since I took the Entrepreneurship Course, I should be starting my Business and not looking for work. It really sucks the choice that i make now a days, and probably This is the worst decision in my Life time.
I don't need advice, i don't think i can do them now. I feel lost.
PS: If you think it's the economy, for me, am through with my own excuse 1 person likes this
13 responses
@nikramos (698)
• Philippines
4 Dec 10
you lost your will somehow...
i think its all in the mind.
a year is quite a long time to be doing all the preparations you need.
no advices i know but maybe starting 2011 with a new job can be really exciting, dont you think?
new year, new life, new job, nothing to do with economy really as i think it greatly depends on how one finds his way into making his life less miserable.
draw inspiration from people around you and you're good to go :)
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
4 Dec 10
It wasn't just in the mind to begin with. I've been thinking what path i should really take besides the one i took years ago. I feel that if i go back there, it won't be the same again. Drawing Inspiration around a lot people is what I've been doing but i guess it ends up with me putting it all together. unfortunately, it leads me to do other things besides applying for a job.@nikramos (698)
• Philippines
4 Dec 10
oh you mean start a business? thats what im getting when i read again your discussion. quite confused me.
been like you for the past years.
i've never settled for one job and i dont know why i cant.
the longest ive been with one company is almost 2 years.
at 25, ive been to 4 different companies already. bummed for few good months to a year before i settle for another.
then came my calling to handle family business finally.
i never pushed it to happen but i was anxious all along to not find my niche until now.
as for me, the higher being has His own way of making things done for me.
i did it when i felt comfortable and did all the research i can to push through with my plans plus i have my parents' guidance along the way.
im well on my 4th month doing business and thank god i havent strayed.
you just need to keep the faith and back it up with some hard earned resources to begin with. good luck!
@Mikaela_taz25 (1842)
• Philippines
4 Dec 10
You need something to think that will inspire you from you're mind first. you have done this before, but i guess with failures in the past you decided to be pessimistic about it. too pessimistic i believe. i agree with nick, try to draw inspiration, better you go and find something a lot that can inspire you.
@eurekafemme (5877)
• Philippines
4 Dec 10
Hi there , Knight....
Since you said you do not need an advice, I'll not give you any. Besides, I'm not in the position to say something about such situation...:(
What I can say is that, whatever your position is right now, it has nothing to do with our economy. It must be you and your lack of self drive ...
I can only hope that this temporary 'hopelessness' will pass you by so soon...and that someone or something will come into your life to give you a push...
God bless you, dear.:)
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
5 Dec 10
Hello Eurekafemme,
It must be you and your lack of self drive ...
Yes, it must and it is me dear. but i don't know what went wrong, for some reason, i need something that would make me do stuff again. I don't need to have a girlfriend and a child to do it, right? i know i can do this by myself. it's hard to get motivated some how when ever i think of this, i feel lost. but of course, not entirely hopelessness. thank you@eurekafemme (5877)
• Philippines
6 Dec 10
No, Knight. You don't need a girlfriend to be motivated but, if you have one , well, she will surely fuel your desire and boost your energy to "get a life" somehow.:)
Jesus... don't think of having a child yet.
. It's the last thing you need right now.:(
Well, the mere fact that you were able to open up about this here is an indication that you aren't feeling hopeless. I think it is more appropriate to say you are feeling lazy. 
Peace, dear.
. It's the last thing you need right now.:(
Well, the mere fact that you were able to open up about this here is an indication that you aren't feeling hopeless. I think it is more appropriate to say you are feeling lazy. Peace, dear.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
4 Dec 10
hi letran wow you are still upset with yourself and you know what
' I can imagine this same scenario is going on here in my c ountry
as young,old and in between men are trying to get up the courage
and will power to look for work again and send out resumes,
and even try to start a new business. It can lead to depresson'
and feeling they are not worth anything. They sometimes doubt
themselves. I am not trying to advise you just trying to show
you you are not alone.And if your brother, however well meant,
nags you about looking for work it just is not going to happen.
Nagging at someone only makes the nagee resentful. You are a very
introspective person and you would make a great teacher, or leader
in some business. You are going to find yourself soon, and then
self doubts will fade. Why not try to find a friend or two who would like to start a business with you, oh dear I am giving advice or just suggestions? I do not mean to p reach but I sort of feel your pain
as my own son is again out of work. Its hard for me to sit and just watch and not be able to help him. when he was little I as his mom could help but now all I can do is commiserate with him.
could help but now all I can do is commiserate with him.@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
5 Dec 10
Hello Hatley,
The only person was really nice enough to try help me and my mom was my brother. well, the thing is "I am the only HOPE" for this entire family. If i work, then i can help not just my mom but my two brothers as well. I have trouble knowing my goal in life. maybe i should just start thinking, really deep and do something again.
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
4 Dec 10
Hello Mspitot,
at least you have a job, that counts.you gonna need personal helpers if you wanted to be at least a bit successful. in my small business, i do it on my own, i got no people helping me.
,
at least you have a job, that counts.you gonna need personal helpers if you wanted to be at least a bit successful. in my small business, i do it on my own, i got no people helping me.@mspitot (3824)
• Philippines
5 Dec 10
My course in college, which is education, was never my choice. My mom know that I really don't like teaching. I don't know until when I'm going to teach but I'm starting to have sideline business little by little. I think it is okay to start working on our business alone because we save money and we learn a lot about our own thing. Little by little, we can invest with helpers and tools.
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
4 Dec 10
I do know what you are saying as you know I am unemployed for the first time in my life as of January 2010. I did not get unemployment and nothing to live off with. I used all my savings to pay minimum balances on the mortgage and the bills. Well I went nuts the first few months looking like a nut for a job. I lost my home, ran out of savings, my immaculate credit is in the toilet and my phone is being blown by creditors on a daily basis.
I tried against all odds to get back on my feet. When May rolled around I was so drained I lost my will. I know there is no excuse but I was living the helpless feeling and well did not look for any work from May through end of October as I found I got so depressed, and although I had days I could not eat, I could not think straight outside of being depressed as there was no hope or will any longer.
So I am slowly doing some independent contracting work, started 2 weeks ago, I get paid very little and invest a great deal of time. I have never been out of work, could never imagined being out of work. But unless anyone walks in our shoes with this feeling of depression letran, I suppose they will never understand that we are simply humans. Although you and I have many contemplated plans, some days we simply want to close the world and well just sulk and hope the next day is better.
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
5 Dec 10
Hello Hardworkinggurl,
You know the difference in my experience, It wasn't really that hard to begin with. Either my Relatives or my friends had contacts that can help get hired quick, but i was just too lame. 
I thought i could do it my own way, but it didn't last and in the end, I was wrong.
Even today, I didn't want to open up topics to my brother about JOBS because I fear it might get him asking me, when am I gonna get a job.
i felt so isolated now compare to the last time but in some ways i get to know my neighbors a bit since they buy some ICE in my small business.
@sweetloveforeve (13107)
• Portugal
4 Dec 10
sweetie i have a site that you can try^^ you type very fast like me and they pay well per day^^ if you be here in mylot and there im sure it can help you^^ i also applied to that site again to see if they can accept me and i really wish that they accept me this time^^ dont feel so upset i will tell you about this site when we talk again ok? dont lose hope im sure you can find a job soon mostly in manila you have better opportunities than in other cities right?^^
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
5 Dec 10
Hello SweetLove
,
Just send me a Pm or set a time where we can talked in the Messenger.there are times that i am really busy (Mylotting
). thanks for the encouragement and support. such a nice person can any one hang with. have a sweet day
,
Just send me a Pm or set a time where we can talked in the Messenger.there are times that i am really busy (Mylotting). thanks for the encouragement and support. such a nice person can any one hang with. have a sweet day
@rsa101 (37932)
• Philippines
9 Dec 10
From what I read from your post, you are lost your will to make an effort to do something that can probably help you and your family earn extra. I know you are good and happy here in Mylot but reality doesn't just jibe since earning money on Mylot alone together with others still not enough to feed us and be financially independent unless you are a good website designer that have lots of clients around. But I guess you can always start living that will by starting with a purpose why you want to do it. Since if you do not have that in your heart it would really be hard for you to start.
Start asking yourself why do you want to look for a job or start a business or whatever you have in your mind. From there it could spark something that would move you from your current situation. Holding from that inspiration maybe you can start to mobilized yourself to achieve your goals. Get out of your comfort zones once in a while to break free and explore other opportunities while you are young because for as long as you age the more you become limited.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
4 Dec 10
It might be that you've been living in comforts far too long and got yourself infected with the notion that any action is preferable to any inaction, that doing something - anything, is better than occasionally doing nothing at all so we can sit and think instead.
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
5 Dec 10
Hello Zandi. well, I am doing something else for now, and it's not just applying because it takes most of my energy, when ever i get home, am so tired and exhausted that i can't do much.Of course, I don't wanna just think forever until i get old
. well, I am doing something else for now, and it's not just applying because it takes most of my energy, when ever i get home, am so tired and exhausted that i can't do much.Of course, I don't wanna just think forever until i get old @Mikaela_taz25 (1842)
• Philippines
4 Dec 10
Hi knight.
I think you're taking too much time to think of that One thing I know for sure, you're distracted. from what I recall now, for almost two years you've mostly done not much but to mylot.
You may get mad at me for saying this. but probably it's time.. to let go of this site. I know you know, that some how online earning is dragging you're REAL LIFE. why don't you try focus on you're applying for a job again. even if it's not Call Center. You're foot problem signifies you're not getting any younger. don't make it longer than it seems. find out what you really want quick before you realize how too late it is.@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
5 Dec 10
Hello Mikaela
,
No, I don't think mylot is draining me. If it wasn't for this site, i would have been completely out of phase. at least i have the capacity to still think and write, despite the fact that I don't worked that much any more. but am happy with what i do here and other things like that small business that i have. don't worry. i'll figured it out. next year
,
No, I don't think mylot is draining me. If it wasn't for this site, i would have been completely out of phase. at least i have the capacity to still think and write, despite the fact that I don't worked that much any more. but am happy with what i do here and other things like that small business that i have. don't worry. i'll figured it out. next year
@Jean25 (343)
• Philippines
4 Dec 10
Nobody wants to be unemployed. In the Philippines, Looking for a job is hard but some how i knew you blew it, but i couldn't tell you thatIt's not too late, don't make it too late. find you're purpose in life, don't let you're self die being nothing. even if not on the spot light of you're career, at least maintain you're job
It's not too late, don't make it too late. find you're purpose in life, don't let you're self die being nothing. even if not on the spot light of you're career, at least maintain you're job@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
5 Dec 10
Hello Jean,
Oh, come on. give me at least give me a benefit of a doubt hereif it wasn't for me, you wouldn't know mylot too. i mean, even if you have work you still tend to do mylot. well, thanks for the encouragement. don't worry i'll let you know if i get a job.
@maezee (41997)
• United States
4 Dec 10
You started a discussion but you don't want advice? What kind of discussion is this, anyhow? LOL. I couldn't imagine not having a job in 2 years.. I am a workaholic and I enjoy working and having extra spending money and all that. But my mom's boyfriend is kind of in the same position, although he isn't starting his own busienss..He's just kind of mooching off of my mother's part-time wages (pathetic). At least you're trying to do SOMETHING. But it never hurts to start applying. I mean, it's all about adaptation. You adapt to your surroundings. I started working full-time instead of part-time, and I've adapted to it, and now it feels totally normal to me. Same thing with getting back into the swing of applying and working again. I don't know. Only you can help yourself though.
And yes..That was sort of unsolicited advice. But whatever! You started it.
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
4 Dec 10
Hello Maezee,
Maybe the advice would be different but I know that if some one's going to give me, it's still up to me. I used to have adopted to a lot of surroundings, Somewhere along the road, i just..fell down some where deep, am trying my best to get back to that road, if you get what i mean. yeah, that's why i couldn't accept advice, because i can only decide for it in the END.
@strawberrychocodahi (4818)
• Philippines
4 Dec 10
Okay no advice needed from anyone but my question is what is your goal? I am sure most of us do something because we focus on aiming to get our goal. Action is needed about doing something you like, be it self employed or not.
I too was like you because I feel that the course I took in College was just not appropriate to what I am doing now. But I have to think positive and be firm to continue on what I am doing now since there is no going back, time is not enough for me to get back the things I wanted to happen.
I just accepted the fact that not all goody goody things happen especially if I will just compare myself with my colleagues or friends, I will just get disappointed in myself. But what I have for now, I will use it and improve it because I do believe that this was given to me by God and I have to improve no matter how it takes.
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
4 Dec 10
Hello StrawBerry,
If I really knew what was my concrete goal, you wouldn't see this discussion. Also, that's probably why i didn't want to make contact with people, because one question pops into their head is "what's you're job, where are you now? such questions unbelievably annoying to me. I know GOD gave me something, it's either i couldn't figure out yet or i should risk getting a job to figure it out.
@Nobody4me (165)
•
4 Dec 10
Every One Looses hope in one moment in our lives. look at me, I almost jobless when i was in North Korea, the only thing that was feeding me was my girl friend who works in the military. that was even more shame. but there's always a reason to move on. maybe you're AFRAID of trials, that's alright i had it worse. I am all alone in this country of yours but am free here to have all the opportunity that i want to make my life better. free mind, with out control, with a lot more respect from other people.
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
5 Dec 10
Hello Nobody4me,
It's not maybe, most of the time I am. sometimes, It's not easy to get up after such a huge humiliation or a failure.thanks for the comfort.maybe i will do it better next year, before my US relatives starts gettng suspecious(of me didn't apply)
,
It's not maybe, most of the time I am. sometimes, It's not easy to get up after such a huge humiliation or a failure.thanks for the comfort.maybe i will do it better next year, before my US relatives starts gettng suspecious(of me didn't apply)