Meeting Up Again After a Long Time has Past
By Amber
@AmbiePam (85464)
United States
December 5, 2010 5:57pm CST
I'm going to a funeral tomorrow (Monday), and I'm going to see people I haven't seen in over ten years. I'm a little nervous about that. Do you ever find yourself in that kind of situation when it comes to weddings or funerals? Or maybe another event I'm not mentioning? I guess it could be family members that you haven't seen in years, until a wedding unites the family again. In my case it's people I grew up with, or people who influenced me as I was growing up. Most of them good, some of them bad. I'm hoping to avoid the people I'm not too keen on seeing ever again.
10 people like this
24 responses
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
6 Dec 10
My condolence to you at this time. Was it someone close to you?
I haven't seen my favorite aunt for years, (at least 15) when I ended up moving just a couple blocks from them. Then we moved away again and lost contact. It wasn't until my cousins son got married about years later and I got to see everyone again. It was embarrassing because I didn't recognize the cousin who is around my age due to her gaining so much weight. 
I was happy to see everyone though, after all they are my fav...:)
I was happy to see everyone though, after all they are my fav...:)2 people like this
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
6 Dec 10
Oh ok I see. I hope things go smoothly then...:)
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
6 Dec 10
I think the same thing. Two years ago my cousin's daughter got married and all the cousins on my mom's side whom I hadn't seen in a very long time..were going to be there. It was really fun catching up with them and I didn't know what I was nervous about after talking to them...
2 people like this
@Mirita (2668)
• United States
11 Dec 10
Just stay calm and just greet them in a polite way ,but try not to engage in a very long conversation with the bad ones. Talk about things in general and don't disclose any private information. Try to hang out with the people that you feel more comfortable and try to avoid those negative people. There is always an excuse to go to the bathroom or get some coffee.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (159002)
• Boise, Idaho
7 Dec 10
Do you think they will be disappointed in you? Do you not get along with these people for some reason? Do they live a long way away from you? Must be some reason why you haven't seen them in so long. I would go, be myself and hope for the best. Going with a postive attitude and looking forward to seeing them is a plus.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (85464)
• United States
7 Dec 10
I mentioned being nervous at the beginning of my post, and then wanting to avoid some people at the end. I guess I gave the wrong impression. I wasn't nervous about meeting up with people I want to avoid. It's just been so long since I've seen any of them, the people I like that is.
I would probably bore you if I went into why I haven't seen them in a while. lol But it all went fine. I loved seeing most of them. And the people whom I wanted to avoid somehow found me. But I acted as if they had never tried to tell lies about my family, get friends of mine fired, or any of the other horrible things they did. I figured if they wanted to pretend it never happened, I'm certainly not going to stir up anything bad. Funny thing is, they wanted to make plans to get together. Uh...no.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (159002)
• Boise, Idaho
7 Dec 10
Maybe you said it because you were feeling alittle that way subconciously. Just a thought. And, you wouldn't bore me at all if you did go into the whole thing. One of the things I enjoy about Mylot is hearing the stories of the young ones on here. I am nearly 60 now and because of health issues am feeling as if my life(romance and family is gone now mostly)is slowing burning out. It sounds like something happened to you and you aren't too happy about it. I would try to remember they are family. SOunds like your head is in the right place. Remember the season. We all act alittle more loving and happy at this time of the year. Take care.
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
6 Dec 10
hopefully you go with someone in your same frame of mind. when i went to my family reunion 3 yrs back, i was so excited. but sadly theres people i didnt get to see
anyway, when i saw my favorite aunt that i hadnt seen for 6yrs. i actually cried and laughed while hugging her. i was a bit embarrased about that but it seemed to make her happy. then when my cousin, her son showed up, my oldest daughter just wanted to go and started pulling me to go. he had done time for a bad thing he did and shes not one to forgive things. so we had to go. 
even though i told her just avoid him so we could see others i needed to spend time around. after all it was my whole reason for the long trip. but id come with her so had to go....
anyway, when i saw my favorite aunt that i hadnt seen for 6yrs. i actually cried and laughed while hugging her. i was a bit embarrased about that but it seemed to make her happy. then when my cousin, her son showed up, my oldest daughter just wanted to go and started pulling me to go. he had done time for a bad thing he did and shes not one to forgive things. so we had to go. even though i told her just avoid him so we could see others i needed to spend time around. after all it was my whole reason for the long trip. but id come with her so had to go....
@gdesjardin (1918)
• United States
6 Dec 10
I don't like going to function where I haven't seen people in a while. I never used to be that way, but I guess now that I am older, I wonder what people will think or look like, or what they will think I will look like. They when you don't see someone for so long, it is hard to try to play "catch up" in a short period of time. I recently saw some friends of mine that I haven't seen in over 20 years. I was nervous at first because obviously I look a lot older now then I did back then, and having three kids, and well...obviously packing on a few extra pounds. It turned out all good as everyone was so kind as to say I looked the same (little liars...lol)...but I was still a bit nervous nevertheless.
1 person likes this
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
6 Dec 10
never was nervous to meet some I hadnt seen like a cousin I met again after 40 years at a family reunion.
Or a girl Iwent to school at my moms veiwing Whats to be nervous over e are ll people and have led the lives we have wanted and we al put our clothes on the same way
1 person likes this
@I_LUV_U (2519)
• India
6 Dec 10
Yes, I can relate to your situation. In my case, I usually feel a little ill at ease meeting people whom I have not heard about since ages, as opposed to those whom I have not seen but have been hearing about or talking to and so have been them. Maybe because I'm still relatively young and a decade of time hasn't really expunged anything off me in appearance. However forthwith, if I am to meet somebody a decade starting from today, I will probably have second thoughts regarding it. As far as my personal equation with them is concerned, I think it would matter but probably not much since time would have consolidated it considerably I suppose. In summary, I would meet them if there's any need be, although not keen enough doing it, as I would had it been otherwise.
1 person likes this
@HelloMickey (1655)
• Hong Kong
6 Dec 10
Hello AmbiePam
I am not a very social person, and I am not very good at dealing with people, that's why I always feel nervous to meet old friends, especially the one I seldom contact with, I am nervous that I have nothing to say when we meet.
1 person likes this
@Metatronik (6199)
• Pasay, Philippines
6 Dec 10
This year we have a family reunion but not all of them are our close relatives. I mean most of them are just my distant relatives. I don't feel to join or socialize with them. I would honestly tell that it has something to do with my self esteem right now. I mean of course there are things that I am really insecure.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (72285)
• Philippines
6 Dec 10
Seeing people I don't want to meet again is really a little bit uncomfortable, but over the years I've learned how to deal with them. Now reunion just only gives me excitement! I've aged over the years but only in numbers and I'm physically fit, so I assure myself that I really do look good enough than those people I'll be seeing again and I'd love to show them a bit of surprise! This is how I deal with it. I guess it's just me. I always believe that confidence gives so much more to a person's character and self-esteem. But not too much though. 
@Silentium (59)
•
6 Dec 10
Well actually it depends on the length of separation, when you are separated with them for a loong period of time you might feel anxious, excited, nervous and all that mixed emotions. We know that probably they develop different likes and dislikes. Those changes have a possibility to occur.Meeting them again you have to rebuild that closeness.
Other people keep in touch with the people they meet, so that they would not be unsure what to do or how to react if ever their paths cross again.
1 person likes this
@chelseabelle (197)
• United States
6 Dec 10
I actually am suppose to hang out with a guy from high school soon. I'm kinda nervous about it and not sure if I even really want to anymore. I would hate to have to cancel on him because I would feel super bad!
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (157552)
• United States
6 Dec 10
Add to that a family reunion or a high school reunion. I do try to duck people I do not want to see.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (63235)
• United States
6 Dec 10
At mom's service I saw someone I hadn't seen for years, and a family friend I hadn't seen since the last service a couple of years ago. I'm not really avoiding people, the ones I don't want to see would be at a reunion, and I've already decided not to go...
1 person likes this
@pergammano (7682)
• Canada
6 Dec 10
My condolensces .. Ambie! Usually when this happens to me, I talk myself into "going with an open mind," as in the past, when I conjured up thoughts of persons I really didn't want to associate with at this event, I then put up a facade. So many times, nice things have happened, and those persons that I was reluctant to see/associate with...had really changed, and most often for the better. So now, I try on focus on the good and look forward to pleasant surprises, hopefully! Take care and Cheers!
P.S. something must be wrong...as I did NOT get notification of this discussion!
1 person likes this
@3SnuggleBunnies (16374)
• United States
6 Dec 10
Nothing to be nervous about. Just be yourself!
I haven't seen my half sisters in like 6yrs. I'm not worried about them. I had to see them for some estate dealings from our father 2 yrs ago. They got to meet my 3 kids for the first time as you know they are in their own lil world and I'm not part of it and I've been ok with it since I was a kid.
1 person likes this
@sallyj (1225)
• United States
6 Dec 10
It is not easy, but you will do what you have to do. Some times those you fear, have changed and circumstances are different. I have changed my attitude towards some people after a bad situation and find that there are other factors that made us enemies. Many people influence us and when that changes so does the whole situation.
1 person likes this
@2004cqui (2812)
• United States
6 Dec 10
I've had to do this several times. I just went in with my head held high. After the first time it becomes a lot easier. Try doing that the first time as the daughter of a conniving, angry mom. And they are all her relatives? That was a hoot!
