The Ex

@Jezebella (1446)
United States
December 6, 2010 3:57pm CST
So my boyfriend's ex is still a major part of his life. She still texts him and he her. Couple months back she went into this whole deal that she wants him back and loves him so much and blah blah blah. She didnt care that he was with me and loves me ect. He's said he cant stop talking to her because she has some of his stuff he wants back. But it bothers the hell out of me that he still talks to her. I know he loves me; we are looking at apartments to move into together. But talking to her makes me worried. I don't know how to tell him without coming off as the jealous girlfriend, any advice
2 people like this
7 responses
• United States
6 Dec 10
I am friends with a lot of my exes, so I know that there can be friendship after a break-up. However, I have not declared my undying love for them and tried to break up any relationships that they have had, either. The thing that I don't understand about your situation is you say that your boyfriend loves you, but he can't stop talking with his ex-girlfriend, even after she said that she still loved him and wanted him back. If he really loved you, then he would understand that continuing to talk with her could be ruining the relationship that he has with you. I know that he is using her still having some of his stuff as an excuse to keep in contact with her, but that is all it is - an excuse, in my opinion. If he really wanted his stuff back, then he would just go and get it, especially if they are in regular contact with each other as you have stated.
@soulist (2987)
• United States
6 Dec 10
I agree partly with purple. I know some of the story from what you have told me. I understand she lives in a different state so just going to get it can be hard, but thats were you need to sit him down and tell him exactly how you feel Jeze. Tell him it hurts you and bothers you that he still talks to her especially after what she did a couple months ago.
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Dec 10
After finding out that this other girl lives in a different state, it does make more sense why he does not just go there and get his stuff and be done with the situation. However, Soulist is right, you really do need to talk to him about how you feel about what is happening. Maybe after hearing how much it bothers you, he will make plans to go to her house one weekend and pack up the rest of his stuff and end the relationship once he gets back. Better still, maybe he could find a way to get his stuff that wouldn't involve him going to a different state and having any physical contact with her at all, which should definitely make you feel better.
• Philippines
7 Dec 10
can't get rid of the ex - yeah, that's really sad.
Hello Jezebela, oh, that's not good. If he wants something back i guess he only should get it back from her more direct than many kinds of talks here and there. I think you have the right to be jealous, i think the instincts is coming in here since I feel as the guy that he can't a choice and it's hurting you. I think it's time to step up and talk to him. probably make him choose either you or her since he spends time with her instead of just you alone.
@Andyvil (793)
• Philippines
7 Dec 10
Maybe a good approach would be to ask him how he would feel if your text will keep on texting you and you will reply to all your exs messages. Anyway if your boyfriend really loves you he wouldn't do anything to jeopardize your relationship. I think it would be better to be open to your bf and tell him how you really feel. If really loves you then he would completely understand you.
• Philippines
7 Dec 10
The ex is an important part of our lives. Of course if you've loved someone you're bound to remember her for quite some time. It's cuz you've been attached to her emotionally. It's not that easy to forget an ex.
• United States
7 Dec 10
I would ask him to just ask her for his stuff back he can't keep talking to her forever. I see nothing wrong with you getting jealous either.
@carolscash (9500)
• United States
6 Dec 10
Well, I have an ex that I am still good friends with and I would not do anything to destroy the relationship he is in even though I do not approve of it. I think that we can be friends and never let it interfere with our current relationships. I have been married for almost 16 years and so I know that I am not straying.
• Portugal
6 Dec 10
im sorry for it you should tell him that you trust him but that it bothers you that she still talks with him bcs she still has feelings for him. you should tell him to tell her to meet up with him and give back his things. that way if she does that they wont have nothing else to talk about. just tell him that and im sure he will understand bcs for sure he wouldnt like if it was an ex of you texting you. and if is only bcs things she has that belongs to him they can meet and she can give him all back^^ is simple so tell him^^ im sure he wont argue with you and will understand that you dont feel comfortable what is a normal reaction^^ even more with his ex gf attitude in the past wanting him back.