Are you fair with your in-laws and parents?

United States
December 11, 2010 12:09am CST
Like for this holiday season are you going to spend the same amount for your in laws and your parents? I'm not married but my boyfriend and I have to get presents and we feel that it is fair to spend the same amount so that both are evenly treated however my sister and brother in law are married and they seem to not divide properly. His parents are getting an expensive gift while my parents are getting a cheaper gift. How do you divide gifts for Mother's Day, Father's Day, Christmas, how do you divide both?
1 person likes this
3 responses
@gdesjardin (1938)
• United States
13 Dec 10
We usually spend the same on both, however my parents get the presents on Mother's Day and Father's Day, and my inlaws don't. This was not really my decision, but my husbands. My parents always see us and spend time with their grandchildren. My in-laws have little to do with the grandkids. We do live on the other side of the country, but they could still send cards and stuff for the kids. It was my husband's decision to only send them gifts at Christmas and that is all.
• United States
14 Dec 10
I see thanks for sharing- but do your in laws know they don't receive Mother's Day and Father's Day gifts? Do they like that? And is it your in laws don't want to spend time with the kids or they can't visit all the time? My parents don't like how my sister and brother in law aren't fair in gifts because one side gets more than the other and it's usually not far.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Dec 10
We are on opposite ends of the country...we are in the southeast, they are southwest, so we don't see them that often. However, their other grandchildren are not close either. They send birthday cards/presents and Christmas cards/presents to all their other grandchildren, just not our kids. I think that is terrible! My children barely know that they have grandparents on their father's side. It is almost like out of sight, out of mind with them. I guess as a mother, I could never do that to any of my children kids. If all three of my kids were married and moved to opposite ends of the world, I would still treat all of my grandkids equally and still remember them on their birthdays and Christmas. Even if I had no money, I would definitely send out cards and a nice note.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Dec 10
Wow that is rude. I would send gifts or at least a card or something be apart of the family. That is terrible and I am sorry to hear :( I hope you don't have to get them anything for your husbands parents, I know you don't get them for Mothers' Day and Fathers Day but hopefully not their birthday either!
• United States
11 Dec 10
I have nothing to do with my in-laws whatsoever, so no. I haven't seen or spoken to them in well over 4 years and I intend to keep it that way.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Dec 10
Thanks for sharing. Wow, 4 years.
• United States
12 Dec 10
Yeah. I've been with my husband for 7 years, we've been married for two and a half years.
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@sophia18 (107)
• China
11 Dec 10
I'm not married now,but i noticed that being unfair with in-laws and parents is very common among married couples.We all know that treat the both evenly will be better,however,it seems hard for married ones to do so.I don't know why do that,maybe it's just because I haven't got married so I can't understand their feelings.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Dec 10
Thanks for sharing. I'm not married either but I'm unsure what to get them this Christmas (I'm a late shopper) however I want to keep it fair. I'm unsure why married couples are unfair it's like they favorite one of the other or something.