How do you feel about a older woman and a younger man in a relationship?

@wonga94 (218)
Singapore
December 13, 2010 1:13pm CST
Hi mylotters. As i was walking back home today, i saw a guy around his 20s with a lady around her 40s holding hands and hugging. I'm quite surprised that they were a couple when they started hugging and holding hands. They looked more like mother and son? What's your take on relationships like this?
3 people like this
18 responses
@Lore2009 (7378)
• United States
14 Dec 10
Maybe I will be surprised at first because I'm not used to seeing it, but if they are happy, it should be fine. Age won't stop one from loving.
@Lore2009 (7378)
• United States
17 Dec 10
Yeah, that's wrong, but there are a lot of cases like that even if the age is not much of a difference.
@wonga94 (218)
• Singapore
17 Dec 10
Hi Lore2009! This is the first time i seen this kind of relationship with my own eyes. Yeah, i agree with you. If both party truly loves each other then there's nothing really wrong about it. But if one has other motives for pretending to love the other than it's really wrong.
@buggles64 (2709)
• United States
16 Dec 10
Well, love has nothing to do with age so to each his own. For myself personally, I want to be in a relationship with someone around my own age. I want to enjoy activities with my partner and I think that is best when we have some commonground/interests.
@wonga94 (218)
• Singapore
21 Dec 10
Hi buggles64! Yeah, love is for everyone and no one should be denied the right to love someone much older or much younger than themselves. We should all learn to get used to this kind of a relationship. So long as they truly love each other, there's nothing much we can say. Times have changed and so should those who frown upon it.
• Philippines
14 Dec 10
hello wonga! actually, in the community i live in, such a relationship is unusual. However, as i have also traveled a lot, i have often found couples who are mismatch not only in age but in appearance as well but they were all so happy and contented with each other, that i could not help being happy for them too. Love is not bounded by time, culture, distance and even age. If we are not used to seeing such couples, we might be a little intrigue or embarrass at first considering that in our community such public display of affection is considered taboo for young generations much more for couples who are like mother and son, father and daughter. People are now more expressive than before. Young people are not afraid to show their real feelings even when ridiculed by other people. Older people who had been withholding themselves because of what others might say are now laying off their inhibitions and are coming out of their shell. Who cares? they're in love and the world could melt for all they care as long as they have each other.. After overcoming my surprise at such a couple, i had often been in awe of this sight since i know it is not easy for them to publicly display their feelings, they're bound to be criticized in all ways. But people truly in love will show strength and determination uncommon for other people.oh, to be in love is such a bliss..and a curse sometimes..lol
@wonga94 (218)
• Singapore
21 Dec 10
Hi deriellevc73! I too live in a community that finds such relationship unusual. But as time changes, generation also changes. People are becoming much more open-minded to this kind of a relationship. At first, we all might find this surprising but when we get used to it, we find this quite normal. Although such relationship is much more acceptable to the society now, older generations find this weird and frown upon it. However, we as human cannot be judgmental and everyone has the right to be who they want to be or be with.
@kodukodu84 (1569)
• Malaysia
14 Dec 10
Love does not works only when the man is older than the woman. Everyone says that love has no boundaries, and it does not count on the age, status, and money only when it really comes between two person. It is very normal in my opinion, so long as they are happy and enjoying their time together. Have a nice day
@wonga94 (218)
• Singapore
21 Dec 10
Hi kodukodu84! Yeah, i totally agree with you. Love is for everyone and if they are in love with each other, who are we to object to this kind of a relationship? As long as no one has an ulterior motive in the terms of money, they should be fine. I felt a little surprised as i have seen it for the first time in real life but soon i got used to it and it never really bothered me that much compared to when i saw it for the first time.
@Sanitary (3968)
• Singapore
14 Dec 10
That's what we called "cougar" relationship where women is older than man. In the past, it's seen as something weird and prohibited, but now, times had moved on and people are more open minded now. In Asia now, we are seeing more and more of such relationships even though many parents are showing their discontent and disapproval. I won't mind myself dating a younger man as long as it's within 5 year gap. If he appeals to me, there must be something unique about him that I don't bother about the age gap.
@wonga94 (218)
• Singapore
21 Dec 10
Hi Sanitary! Thanks for telling me the real name for this kind of a relationship. Yeah, times have changed and everyone is more open-minded to such things. But older generations are still a tad stubborn and find this unacceptable. Even though times have changed and all, this kind of a relationship is still not readily accepted into society. Truth to be told, everyone would be quite surprised to see this kind of a relationship in real life. Whatever it is, if both parties love each other truly; there's really nothing we can say.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Dec 10
The discussion on the matter at hand is very good.I feel we all should thank about our own ways of doing things and reconsider,than look at ways to do things better in order to help others. I don't see anything wrong with the older woman and younger man relationship.
@wonga94 (218)
• Singapore
21 Dec 10
Hi okroger88! I guess that times have changed and people are becoming more open-minded. However, it is still not readily accepted to some people especially older generations who believe that a man has to be older that the woman in order to be able to protect and support the woman. Anyway, if they truly love each other, there's nothing much their parents can say much less us.
@youless (112091)
• Guangzhou, China
14 Dec 10
Although it is their own business, but I still have a doubt how long this relationship can last. The generation gap does make a difference. It is already not so suitable for a young girl to marry to an old man. And it seems it is worse for a young man to marry to an old lady because woman grows old faster. When her beauty is gone, how will this young man think about? Others may look at them with strange views. I love China
@wonga94 (218)
• Singapore
21 Dec 10
Hi youless! Yeah, it is their own business and we shouldn't poke our nose into their business. This relationship might be kind of hard to maintain but if both parties truly are in love, then they will make it work somehow. In dramas that i see on television, a young girl marrying an old man might not all be love for him but his money. However, i don't know if this cases exist in real life as i have not seen it before. This kind of a relationship is not readily accepted into society and many people frown upon it.
• Singapore
14 Dec 10
Well, this is love. To me, love is a sophisticated matter and it's kind of hard to explain. Say for example, one moment this boy and this girl were strangers. Another moment, they are in love. So...yea. But with regards to this, I've seen on TV dramas, a younger man dating an older woman, who's old enough to be his mother. But in real life, I've not seen any case like this. Hmm...what's wrong with loving someone who's older or younger than themselves? They aren't committing a crime right? The only obstacle they have to pass would just be their parents. Other than that, it's up to them.
@wonga94 (218)
• Singapore
21 Dec 10
Hi JudgeIronFist! Yeah, i agree with you. Love is something no one can truly understand. There's nothing wrong in loving someone older or younger than you but the real question is, so any one of them has a ulterior motive in doing so? The acceptance of their parents is another factor that they require. But if their parents can really see how much they love each other, they would give the couple their blessings.
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
14 Dec 10
I see nothing wrong with a relationship between an older woman and a younger man. As long as they love and care for each other and make each other happy age should not be made an issue. Any age can kno love and how to cherish it.
@wonga94 (218)
• Singapore
17 Dec 10
Hi sender621! I feel the same way you do too! As long as the both love each other with no motives, there's nothing really wrong with this kind of a relationship. I started this discussion is to ask all of you about your opinions on this kind of a relationship.
@ebuscat (5935)
• Philippines
14 Dec 10
For me it is happened maybe the boy don't have a mother and they want that her wife is her mother the same time it is his wife.
@wonga94 (218)
• Singapore
21 Dec 10
Hi ebuscat! Yeah, you right! Maybe the boy has a lack of motherly love from his mother therefore he wants to feel love from a woman older than him. The boy doesn't really romantically love the older woman but just want to feel loved by her motherly.
@dianajen (77)
14 Dec 10
I've been seeing the same thing in our community. It's not bad or good. It really depends on how one person look at that kind of affair. I used to have a relationship with older men, more like a father but it doesn't matter to me as long as we love each other and respect.
@wonga94 (218)
• Singapore
17 Dec 10
Hi dianajen! It depends whether it is good or bad. If they both love each other wholeheartedly then there's nothing really wrong with this kind of a relationship. But if one of them has an ulterior motive then it is really wrong.
@rog0322 (2829)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
14 Dec 10
Hi wonga, Personally, I don't like women older than me even if I find them attractive. However some boys are attracted to them, I don't know why. Maybe its a mother complex, someone who cares and feeling like a baby once more. I have no hangups with the arrangement as long as the guy don't revert to childish ways such as going in tantrums if not given the things he wants or finding another "momma" if she gets too old for his taste. It would be a bad scene if momma feel in love with baby boy and he go away in the end for another woman. I've already seen a lot of cases just like that. In that situation, it is always the woman who take the risk of being hurt.
@wonga94 (218)
• Singapore
17 Dec 10
Hi rog0322! Well, some boys find mature women more attractive hence look for women old then them. So long as they themselves are mature, they should be fine in this kind of a relationship. And i hope that they don't look for older women to be just their sugar mummy.
• Nepal
14 Dec 10
I don't see any wrong there fren as we should be more liberal and humanly towards woman's feeling. A older man n young woman looks okay to all but why when its vice versa....There is no such things called age should come between love....LOVE IS A SENSE OF PURITY NOT TO BE INTERRUPTED BY ANYTHNG...so just let the love be love...
@wonga94 (218)
• Singapore
21 Dec 10
Hi paruhero! True, age shouldn't come in between love. But people might find it strange at first sight. After a while, you slowly accept this kind of a relationship. I mean if you saw it for the first time, you would be kind of surprised right?
• China
14 Dec 10
Are you sure they are a couple? Mother and son also can hug and hold hands. Of course, I can't accept that a old woman and a younger man are couple. That's very surprising.
@wonga94 (218)
• Singapore
21 Dec 10
Hi lovejelly! I pretty sure that they are a couple. I can tell the difference between a couple and mother-son relationship by the way they behave. At first, when i saw this i was very surprised and kept on staring. I know it is rude to stare but i couldn't help it. Luckily, i was quite a distance away so they didn't see me staring.
@saizo6 (2199)
• United States
13 Dec 10
I don't see anything wrong with that. Why are we so concerned about the age differences anyways? It would be different if one was a minor but these are two adults. As long as they are happy together then that's all that really matters. I really don't get why some people make a fuss when it's an older woman dating a younger man but it's alright for an older man to date a younger woman. I don't know, maybe in your case they aren't a couple. It's not uncommon to see these kinds of display in public. Who knows, maybe they are just a son and his mother enjoying a day out together or something. I'm not one to judge without knowing the full details.
@wonga94 (218)
• Singapore
17 Dec 10
Hi saizo6! Just to be clear, i am not judging too. I just wanted to ask all of you about your opinions on this kind of a relationship. I can tell by the way a couple behaves and the way a mother and son behaves. The way that two were behaving that night was definitely not mother and son.
@bokal2703 (802)
• Philippines
13 Dec 10
At first, it will be awkward to see couples like them...however, it can also be a source of inspiration and admiration on how they make such relationship work...I guess that what love really is. In love, age is not an issue. As long as two persons share the same feelings, share the same heartbeat, age, race, status and any other things are immaterial. Nowadays, relationships like that are just normal. The society just dictates that it is awkward because it isn't as readily accepted...I think that what matters most is that they are not hiding what they really feel about each other and are making things be at its best beyond age difference...besides, age is just a number...when a person is sincerely in love, his/her heart remains young.
@wonga94 (218)
• Singapore
16 Dec 10
Hi bokal2703! Yep, they show us how determined they are to make their relationship work. It also shows us how much they love each other although they have a big difference in terms of age. Even though some people frown upon this kind of relationship, they are not embarrassed because they have found their true love.
@nicregi (1934)
• Malaysia
13 Dec 10
For me, love have no boundaries. I don't mind at all as long as both souls love each other. However, most of the cases I see is because one party is superb rich. lol!
@wonga94 (218)
• Singapore
16 Dec 10
Hi nicregi! I think that as long as both of them loves each other, there's nothing anyone can say about it. But if one has other motives like marrying the other who is filthy rich then this relationship is so very wrong.
• Portugal
13 Dec 10
I think that is a normal thing. Love is for everyone in every age. We don't chose who we love, it's not something we can control. I totally believe that people can be together despite the age, racial, etc differences.
@wonga94 (218)
• Singapore
17 Dec 10
Hi mariiaana! Everyone can love. I agree with that. But it's just that it isn't so readily accepted into society. Because most people expect the men to be older than the women.