Due To Your Responses-Have You Ever Regretted Posting A"Personal" Discussion?

@jujunme (2424)
United States
December 17, 2010 12:41pm CST
As a rule i shy away from posting "personal" discussions,not that i find anything wrong with this at all, it's just that i'm the type of person who will usually only discuss my personal business with people who are very close to me (relatives, friends etc..) or sometimes keep these things to myself.The only times where i may divulge something about my persoanl life, is when a member may be asking advice about a similar problem they're they're having or a situation they find themselves in that i can relate to.yet, i have seen many personal discussions started here where members really pour their hearts out ad sometimes the responses are not always favorable or helpful at all. so,i'm interested to know have you ever posted a personal discussion or problem and then regretted doing so?
1 person likes this
9 responses
• United States
17 Dec 10
I don't feel this way at all. I have been here 5 years and some of my friends here could not mean more to me if I knew them in person. I love the responses I get for my posts good or bad they are welcome. I pour my heart and soul on most of my posts. I find the best therapy for me is talking about things.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164507)
• Garden Grove, California
17 Dec 10
hi gifts I feel the same way as I am talking to fri ends I have had here for years and they know me and trust me.and I trust them.
@jujunme (2424)
• United States
18 Dec 10
I do believe people are much more likely to feel free posting personal discussions due to the positive feedback they're receiving, especially from friends they've made here and you and Hatley are prime examples of this. The one thing that stood out the most for me, is when you say "good" or "bad" you welcome your responses, i guess one of the reasons i don't post personal discussions, besides being a very private person, is due to my very sensitive nature, i don't react well to negativity and if i were to post a very personal discussion and received some negative responses or ridicule, i would regret ever having started the discussion in the first place. I don't mind anyone disagreeing with me at all, as long as it's respectful and well meaning.
• United States
17 Dec 10
I do not initiate personal information on any of my discussions, basically I am a private person offline as well. However I do comment with personal responses as it does helps and comforts the person with what they are asking for in the discussion. I find way too many members lately regretting their posts and after we all spend a great deal of time responding and putting forth caring effort then they have the entire discussion deleted. That is their prerogative, but they really need to think twice before doing so as it is happening a great deal lately.
1 person likes this
@jujunme (2424)
• United States
17 Dec 10
As i mentioned in this discussion. If someone asks for advice or has been in a similar situation as myself, i will offer some personal opinions, but that's as far as it goes. if we are private people offline,as we both are,being here certainly won't change that.in my opinion, i just can't see people offering all their personal information here and then later regretting doing so.and i agree anyone doing this should put a lot of thought into it "before" they start the discussion.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Dec 10
I don't think I'd want to post too much personsl business on a site as big as MyLot. Think about it... there are over 200,000 peole registered on here. And that is not 200,000 of your closest friends we're talking about. I imagine there would be more than a few who could really make you pretty miserable and regretful. And from what I have read it's not an easy thing to get a discussion removed. It's not like you can just hit the delete button. I've never understood how people can just bare their souls to a roon full of strangers. I read a discussion just this morning that left me with my mouth hanging open. I just had to back out of there, wishing I had never seen it. I can understand if some one is really seeking advice for a situation, but, make sure it's not one of those skeletons that is better left in the family closet first. I do remember years ago when I was brand new to the internet, I got a little too personal with a discussion on a forum. It didn't take long for me to realize I had made a mistake. I was really embarrased and deleted every post I had ever made on there and deleted my account and never went back. I have never done that again.
@jujunme (2424)
• United States
18 Dec 10
I could not agree with you more.i've read some heart breakers here as well and some of these are not just asking for advice, they're literally letting it all hang out for, as you mentioned hundreds of thousands of potential readers, who just may might not be too forthcoming or sympathetic in their responses.and a thought just came to me, what if you've made a few people angry on here,i mean,there are some people who even if you happen to disagree with them in a discussion, they seem to go off and can become quite rude.Now imagine these same people are reading your very personal business.Would you want comments from these type of people?, i don't think so.I also agree with not wanting to "read" these types of discussions as well, since they can make you quite uncomfortable and wonder what possessed these people to start them in the first place.
• United States
21 Dec 10
Thanks, jujunme, for the Best Response.
@jujunme (2424)
• United States
21 Dec 10
Yvw,Mentioning just how many people are reading discussons at any given time is something i never thought of when posting this discussion.By you bringing this out in the open,just might make some people think twice before posting too much personal information.
@Hatley (164507)
• Garden Grove, California
17 Dec 10
hi jujunme not at my age I am way past that fear as at 84 what have I to divulge that is going to upset or excite the wrong person. and to I am in a retirement center where guests chec in and if they are kosher they are escorted out or else held for the police to take care of. lol lol. so no I have never regretted posting a personal discussion as mine are mostly about situ ations any one could have they are not sexy or titillating in any way. mostly I have told about my own marriage and my deceased husband and the child I lost, nothing that should ever backfire on me.I have never gottern unfavorable responses. the only time I got a mean response was my discussion on the expression cotton picking and the man who wanted to know when his cotten picking cotton picker would be rep aired. this smug young biatch said,"OH my God and i replied if you dislike it that much why not just bypass it.Her comment was deleted as not adding anything to the discussion and as my comment was on her comment if was deleted too.
@Hatley (164507)
• Garden Grove, California
17 Dec 10
error alert should be where guests check in and if they are not kosher they are escorted out. also gottern should have been gotten also my commenton her comment was deleted too. if did not belong there
@jujunme (2424)
• United States
18 Dec 10
Hi Hatley: i hope if and when i reach the ripe "young" age of 84, i can be as forthcoming and open minded as you are.I just happen to be someone who will keep a most of my personal business to myself and maybe a few others such as close friends and family, which at times , can be a good or bad thing. I myself have read quite a few of your discussions and i find that along with divulging some personal information about yourself, you also put them in a way where others who have been through a similar situation can very well understand and sympathize with what you're telling them and in my opinion that's fine and as i mentoned in this discussion, i will respond in kind to these types of discussions and perhaps offer "some" personal information of my own, but only if the discussion starter is asking for advice.
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
18 Dec 10
For some people mylot has become a laundry-mart for them to wash their dirty linens as they feel more comfortable detailing out their personal dilemma here under anonymity. I have talked a lot about myself and shared my problems here as it clear my chest of the problems I am facing knowing that they are experienced people here who can give a word or two to make me feel better. I can never talk to people in the real world about my problems as it can spiral into a gossip that would indirectly tarnish my reputation with people I know.
@jujunme (2424)
• United States
18 Dec 10
I can well understand asking members for advice and support for some of the problems you may be having, since "experience is the best teacher".People who have similar problems can be very helpful and supportive.i just believe `you need to be careful with how much personal information you're willing to put out here, afterall besides the friends anyone has made here,there are many, many others reading about your personal business and i would think people wouldn't be too comfortable realizing this and in time regretting their decision.
@maezee (32955)
• United States
18 Dec 10
I've posted many of these types of discussions! I don't regret any of them, although I know what you mean about receiving responses that aren't exactly helpful or relevant or understanding. I've had a lot of mean responses, a lot of inconsiderate things said, and a lot of assumptions made by people - which I did not appreciate whatsoever. But usually, for every ONE of these bad responses, I get about 4 good, legitimate responses. LOL. So I tend to just ignore the responses that i don't like, and focus on the one's I do!
@jujunme (2424)
• United States
18 Dec 10
You say you don't regret posting these types of discussions,but, you also say you've received "a lot of mean responses" and so my question is, why would it be worth posting very personal information, just to have some people ridicule and make false "assumptions"?,even if you're getting some uplifting responses and ignoring the bad ones, in my opinion,"any" bad response would have to have an effect on a person and would dissuade them from revealng personal information in the future. Believe me, people are free to post anything they like here and i make no judgement , nor, would i ever ridicule anyone who feels the need to open up their personal life on here. I just don't think it's worth it.
@bunnybon7 (37157)
• Holiday, Florida
18 Dec 10
Ive posted many. since usually mylot friends are the only people i have to talk to. i mean how sad is that? anyway, only a couple i was sorry for. but always people here have been more helpful then any off line. i mean, mylot people are mostly wonderful thoughtful bunch. ive only experienced maybe 5 or 6 mean hateful people on mylot out of thousands that have responded on many many discussions ive started and replied to here daily for 3 plus yrs.
@jujunme (2424)
• United States
18 Dec 10
Yes, I think it's very sad that the only people you can confide in are Mylot friends and i also understand the need people have to vent and air out their problems. i also know how helpful people can be herewith their advice and support.Asking for help or trying to come up with a solution for a problem someone maybe having, in my opinion, is all fine and good, but, i've read discussions that are so personal, i actually feel uncomfortable reading them and wonder how anyone can be so trusting to be able to divulge such persoanl inofrmation on a website that has well over 100, 000 readers on a daily basis. I just don't think i'd want that many people knowing my personal business, no matter how many well meaning responses i may receive, but, then again, to each is own
@Wefight (330)
17 Dec 10
Yeh that is the same here with me i tend not to tell anyone about new businesses i have or things tat i have happend sometimes not even some close friends or close family.But if there was a discussion about something that had happend to me on here for example bullying i would relate it in my real life and say it on here but as i dont see them discussions as much now i suppose i dont do that as often.
@jujunme (2424)
• United States
17 Dec 10
I know what you mean.Some members don't mind starting personal discussions. but, i think you have to be careful with how much personal information you put out here. After all, it's not just your friends who read these discussions and i would think a person wouldn't want so many people knowing ther personal business.
• India
18 Dec 10
yup i would do some personal discussion sometimes