How will you forgive your self?

December 19, 2010 9:55am CST
My dad passed away 1 year ago..but the pain and the regret is still in my heart and mind..He died because of the acute renal kidney failure he had.. I never had a chance to help them during his hospitalization..I never had a chance to talk to him before he's gone..I never had the chance to take care of him..It's all because I don't want to be with him during that time, because I don't want to see him in that situation..I am in denial that time.. Until now that I already have my own family, I'm still thinking over and over again..what did I do?..
1 person likes this
7 responses
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
20 Dec 10
We often have guilt when we lose someone special in our lives. There is nothing that we can do or say that will change things and bring them back. Our loved ones know how we felt about them. Trying to relive their last days is not something easy for us to do. We shouldn't feel guilty because we didn't get the chance to say or do something. those we loved know the truth.
22 Dec 10
thanks..very nice advice..
@Sissi321 (131)
• China
20 Dec 10
put your dad in your heart,put your love in your heart,when he is alive,maybe something you didn't do it ,but he knows that you love him whenever...now you have the real live you have to face,when they are alive, you must tell them you love him,do whatever you want to do for them...don't let the same thing happen again,i think your father will be proud of you...happy,my frineds...life has to be continued...
20 Dec 10
thanks..we all just know that we love that person so much when they are gone.. trying to think what if..
@jasmeena (850)
• Indonesia
20 Dec 10
So sorry to hear that.If I may ask you, how long was he hospitalized?Well, now, try to look back about the sweetest moment you`ve ever had with him. Pray for him,I am sure he will be glad up there that you still pray for him..I know how you`re feeling, but don`t let it haunt you all the time. It`s a destiny, we never know what will happen next. Keep in mind, pray for him.
@zaga_cleuth (1412)
• Philippines
20 Dec 10
Through prayers and reading of self help book. Honestly, your just trying to blame yourself with something you must not be blame off. Remember, all our actions are subjected to what we want to do, and whatever the effects of such actions we must suffer. Or indulge ourselves fully.
@leeh2229 (85)
• Philippines
20 Dec 10
Forgiving ourselves isn't always an easy thing to do. We have regrets,feelings of guilt, wishing or thinking we should have done this or that differently.Sometimes we think that if we had acted differently or made another choice, that somehow situations might have turned out better.Sometimes that's true, but nothing can change or undo, whether it's for intentional actions or otherwise. The first step to forgiving ourselves is to realize that whatever we did or didn't do can't be changed. It doesn't matter if the thing we are having guilty feelings over is something we actually did or something we think we could have done differently. Hanging onto feelings of guilt won't change the past. Holding onto guilt over something will not undo he past or things that happened. It's time to let it go, to move on, and to live again. Forgiving yourself, letting go of the guilt,it won't change the past.But it can change your future! ;)
@bird123 (10486)
• United States
20 Dec 10
OK. First, I want you to go look in a mirror. Look very closely at yourself. Don't you see???? You are half your Dad so even though your Dad is not around, He is never really gone. Look in the mirror again and think about your family. Parents love their kids no matter what. Dads want their children happy. A Dad's love is eternal from the day their child is born. Your Dad loves you very much and does not want you to hurt over this. Take what ever lessons you have learned and let it go.Love yourself as your Dad still loves you. There is still something you can do. Go out into the world. Do a great act of kindness in your Dad's name. It will be a Heavenly gift that will reach your Dad's heart knowing his child is such a loving and kind person. What parent could ever want more from their children???
• United States
19 Dec 10
I never had, I never had and guess what? you never will. He's gone and there's nothing you can do about it. You have a family now so you need to stop living in the past. Get over yourself and move on. I know your dad has. Anyway, go and enjoy your family and share some stories of you and your dad around x-mas if you can. You weren't there and there's not a damn thing you can do about it. And the longer you hang on to that the less of yourself you're giving to the people who needs you most now. Your family. Your dad doesn't need anyone. Know that he understands and you will get to see him again someday. Happy Holiday's BTW. go out and buy an hula hoop. (healing)