Change what you can't accept, Accept what you can't change

@Vnyard (286)
Philippines
December 20, 2010 9:32am CST
I had this question in my mind for some time now. I hear a lot of people say "make it happen" and this really made me ask myself, why are they always saying that? Can't they just accept the fact that some things are just not going to happen even if you motivate yourself to "make it happen." I believe some things are just not meant to happen to some people for reasons we won't ever know...but reasons that are for our own good. I mean if we were able to "make it happen" then life would not be as exciting as it's supposed to be right? Your disappointment is always God's appointment so to speak.
3 people like this
15 responses
@thanks1961 (7049)
• India
21 Dec 10
Hi dear, There is certain psychological reality behind it. We are sure that it is not possible to ‘make it happen’ and it is a tedious job for and never be able to do in the life time. We know this fact. Thinking that it is not possible and if we try to do it your attitude is negative and you will not make any further attempts to do so. Whereas assuming that you can do and strive for it, the meaning is different. You are trying and trying and there is a hope for try for tomorrow even. This is a simple logic and there are a lot of things working based on this principle. Change what you can't accept, Accept what you can't change – Again, these words are meant for those who have specific view on certain things. People have a pre determined concept or view with some of the things around him. Never do a try or make an attempt also won’t be there. There is a child at my home. She never eat a particular dish what my mom makes and she never touched it. We all like it and it is so tasty and how much she prepares, all will finish at the first sitting and nothing will remain for a next round. This child never eaten or tried to each and we all compelled, but never she eat it. One day we packed a portion of the same and parceled to my sister who is residing nearby. In the evening this child gone to sister’s place to play. Unknowingly, my sister served the same dish to this girl child and she eat it. [In fact she was not knowing that this dish was handed over by us]. Once she completed her share, she asked for more of it. Sister gave more of it and she completed eating and make a comment also that ‘I will tell my mom also to make the same dish’. So this is the fact. We have certain pre concept and we need to change it, but as long as you feel so, it is never going to work out. Thank-s
@Vnyard (286)
• Philippines
25 Dec 10
I didn't say never to try...I'm saying, when you've tried enough isn't it ok to try something else if the first one just isn't working out? I mean, we have to have limitations, we have to stop being stubborn in looking at the bigger picture. We have to realize that we have so many options to choose from, it's silly to stick to one objective alone. We have to be open-minded. There are those people who are so caught in "making the things they want to happen" that they are forgetting to look at the purpose of pursuing that which was aimed for in the first place. They forget about all the other choices and opportunities offered to them.
@Vnyard (286)
• Philippines
10 Jun 11
sorry for taking too long to respond, I got so busy hehehe! Anyway, thanks as well for responding to this topic! :)
@Suggar (3612)
• Bulgaria
20 Dec 10
Hello friend, what i can say is that everything happens in the right time. Sometimes we don't understand why we can't reach our goals, sometimes we try hard and hard and things just don't happen, i think it's just because the right moment hasn't come and we still to wait. On the other hand i strongly believe that everyone of us can't reach what he wants with hard work, with hard rebuilding of our skills, with learning, with confidence and really strong power. We just need to know the right way for reaching what we want. If we don't see the way and the goal in our mind, there is no way for us to reach it. That's what i can say for sure.
@Vnyard (286)
• Philippines
20 Dec 10
I think figuring out what you're good at is the best place to start then pursue that and make that happen. It doesn't matter how hard you work or how strong-willed you are, if it's not meant for you or if it's for your own good why some things you want are not happening...then it won't happen. I believe everybody has their own purpose in life...even if you make something happen, if it's not your purpose...you won't be happy with it...juz a thought.
@Suggar (3612)
• Bulgaria
20 Dec 10
Actually i'm half believer of the fate and half believer of myself, if that both stuff are mixed together, for me everything must work as a strategy for reaching our goals. Because look right now, as example, i am on my couch, without any cent in my pockets and i do nothing to earn cents ... What's next? Where are these money going to come for? Half good luck and the other half hard working for me is the best choice.
@Vnyard (286)
• Philippines
25 Dec 10
See, you don't have to work hard if you're good making discussions right? You don't even need luck to type on your keyboard :) you enjoy doing these things coz your good at it! Anyway, I agree on the strategy for reaching goals...that's why we have to figure out our goals first...then strategize.
@spencari (265)
• Indonesia
20 Dec 10
"make it happen" from this inscription mean they have a dream to reach... they believe no matter is hard to get.. or failed for the first time they try to reach. they never surrender to reach word " make it happen". its kind of people hope may be the only hope to survive for something better in their live.. most of people who believe it soon or latter will come true.. it is more than a word contain much dream and struggle to get it
@Vnyard (286)
• Philippines
20 Dec 10
yes I understand what you mean but what I'm aiming for here is that those people that I know using the "making it happen" statement don't understand that what they are hoping for is not for them...they can't accept the fact that some things are not meant to be theirs...like forcing yourself to sing when you don't have the voice but you're good being a motivational speaker so why not pursue that instead. Figure out what you're good at and "make that happen"..right?
@spencari (265)
• Indonesia
21 Dec 10
live for experience live for learn live for grace live for give live for love ................. every one able to motivate their self if they want.... let it flow naturally
@Vnyard (286)
• Philippines
25 Dec 10
yeah, let it flow naturally, I agree then why do people force to get what is not meant to be theirs?...it's ok to motivate yourself, but atleast motivate it to enhance what you're good at...you let your natural skill flow..not force it
@aparajita (860)
• India
7 Jan 11
Man proposes and God disposes is an age old adage. We in our limitations cannot change the law or the procedure of the limitless. It's better to accept whatever is happening to us in the form of gratitude. If only we think that whatever happens happens for good we'll no longer suffer. Yes to test our capabilities we may venture to try to do things in our way but let us not falter if that doesn't work out because we do not know whether we were supposed to be utilizing our energy in that or not. However human will and determination, faith in oneself and self confidence can even make the Divine change It's Will. But that happens when the purpose is good and is for the general welfare. If our thoughts and actions are suffused with the sole motive to generate general good, change is bound to happen.If not then we must curtail our ego and move on with a complete sense of surrender.
@Vnyard (286)
• Philippines
10 Jun 11
Very well said! I love it!
@Kalyni2011 (3503)
• India
29 Dec 10
I agree with you, if we cant change some thing, we have to accept it, because there is no way out, but if we can't accept, we will change it to suit us.. how can we make some thing happen as per our wish, bit difficult lol thanks for this discussion merry xmas kalyani
@Vnyard (286)
• Philippines
10 Jun 11
hi, happy new year! how was your new year celebration?
@clouds0327 (1390)
• Philippines
22 Dec 10
Very well said. Yes, I guess it is. I think the most challenging part here is acceptance but once a person accepts what seems to be not meant to be then we can move on and find what really is in store for us.
@Vnyard (286)
• Philippines
25 Dec 10
So who wants to "make it happen" LOL...love your avatar!
@whateva (786)
• India
21 Dec 10
i totally believe in this too. be it the way you look or work related stuff. every step relating to them, can be measured upon this small statement. alwayssssssssssss and forever :p
@Vnyard (286)
• Philippines
25 Dec 10
always and forever LOL...but true
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
21 Dec 10
It is a challenge for us to try to change things that we can't accept. If if it will bring something good to our lives or to the lives of others, it is something er must be willing to do. Accepting what we can not change is a bit more diffiult for us. If we have no control over a situation, it can be harder for us to cope.
@Vnyard (286)
• Philippines
25 Dec 10
we people have the tendency to be stubborn coz we are entitled to have our opinions that's why it is harder for us to accept things and easier to change things the way we view them.
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
21 Dec 10
Honestly a lot of people are lazy and entitled. The reason why some people go on and on about 'make it happen' is because that is what people need to begin doing again - within reason. Nobody is here to hand anything to anybody, nobody is owed anything simply for being alive. What you get out of life is mostly due to what you are willing to put into it, which may be working hard, working smart, being in the right place at the right time, based on who you know, maybe all of the above. Human beings are ridiculously adaptable, although some of us really dislike change. I am all for it when I am initiating it... because something is broken or just needs an update. However, if nothing is broken, I am unbendable and I will not change unless there is a valid reason that makes sense to ME. I always think it is a good idea to go as far as you can on your own to accomplish the goals you have for yourself. If you need help after you've done everything you can, there is no shame in it, although I do believe if you HAVEN'T done everything you can, you shouldn't be asking for help. If you've done NOTHING, then nobody should ever help you, because help only comes when you are already doing for yourself. I am a very stubborn and driven individual, and I make most things happen, or I influence the right people, or I simply find a loophole. I am the best person to have on your side and in your corner, but a formidable opponent from across the table lol. I'm pretty satisfied with my life.
@Vnyard (286)
• Philippines
25 Dec 10
I 2nd the motion. The term "make it happen" are for those people who are doing everything that's legally possible to really make it happen. It's ironic though because I here this term used by people who, most of the time, bum out. If you're not doing anything to reach your goal then there's no reason to say "make it happen" coz you don't have any idea what you juz said. If you're really making it happen, you don't even have the time to say "make it happen"...you're so busy, up and about making things happen in your life that all you can say is "I'm done..I did it, ok next!" And I'm not just saying this, I know this coz I am like this. I don't juz say make it happen..I do it. I'm liking the way you think already :) You remind me of me lol!
@leeh2229 (85)
• Philippines
21 Dec 10
Well i thing that life can never promise to be always happy, but it gets better after you accept things you can change. Acceptance it the great tool in achieving true happiness;)
@Vnyard (286)
• Philippines
25 Dec 10
=) I agree..so are we happy yet? hehehehe
@Sissi321 (131)
• China
21 Dec 10
if you can change the situation,so do it.if you can't,you have to live in the society,you have to accept it .this is life, always have something that you can't accept...so we have to adjust ourselves...
@Vnyard (286)
• Philippines
25 Dec 10
yes..adaptation! hehe
@kodukodu84 (1576)
• Malaysia
21 Dec 10
I received this saying from my best friend few months ago, "people who are happy are happy not because they got everything they want in this life but because they simply appreciate what they got in this life". I love this saying and I wish to follow it all the way in my life. But of course sometimes along the way, I find a confidence to do something more and to try harder, but I always advice myself not to be disappointed when it does not works out in the end. Thanks for sharing and have a nice day
@Vnyard (286)
• Philippines
25 Dec 10
Agree...people should learn to try harder and don't get disappointed when it doesnt turn out to be the way you want it to turn out...It's not bad to have other options as well right? have a nice day as well :)
@jumesbond (109)
• Turks And Caicos Islands
20 Dec 10
Well, I agree with "change what you don't like, but accept it if you can't change it". Hypothetically, we are capable of doing anything, but it isn't necessarily worth it. What if you would have to dedicate all your time to accomplish it? What if you had to use all your money and end up in serious debt? What if you had to kill someone to accomplish it? If you decide you want to "make something happen" you are going to have to give some things up. If it's not worth it, you have to accept it.
@Vnyard (286)
• Philippines
25 Dec 10
FINALLY! this here is what I'm talking about! You have to have limitations...YEY! Kudos!
@narayan2006 (2955)
• India
20 Dec 10
People saying "make it happen" are over confident on their capacity and strength to control the situation that affects them. They are positive minded persons,exploring ways to change the circumstances in their favor.They do not get bowed down by the pressure of any external threat.They may at times fail to achieve the things they desire to get; then they consider their failures as the pillars for future success. They do not bother about the expected result of their action,they only concentrate on their present action to "make it happen", no matter what comes in their way.
@Vnyard (286)
• Philippines
20 Dec 10
What I'm actually saying is there are things that just won't happen even if a person's over confident, has the ability or capacity, persistent, determined and what not. If the shoe doesn't fit, it won't...All I'm saying is some people juz have to be positive enough to take the negative with it. I'm not suggesting anybody to be a pessimist, I'm just saying...why are you going to "make it happen" there...if you're suppose to "make it happen" here...coz "there" is not going to happen but it will happen "here"...I believe that Confident and positive minded people know when to say enough and when to quit as well after a few tries coz they know they'd have plenty and better options to choose from.
@Liliac26 (558)
• Romania
20 Dec 10
I think we should always be realistic, but never passive. Accept what we can't change and do our best to influence what we know we can. I realize this works better in theory, but that's life. Sometimes we fail and there's nothing we can do about it, except keep a positive mind.
@Vnyard (286)
• Philippines
20 Dec 10
exactly my point! accepting the fact that some things you want won't happen is accepting the fact that life is not always a win-win situation...it's juz like nature..you can't force nature right? but you try to take care of it and learn about it. You can't expect an apple tree to bear oranges right?