Views about open relationships while you're already in a relationship?

United States
December 20, 2010 4:14pm CST
What are your views of being in an open relationship while already in a relationship? I know watching television there are shows where it states that the committed couple - both have side relationships. What do you think?? I think it is definitely wrong because the side fling you have may lead to something stronger than the relationship with your committed partner? What if you get that one pregnant or something...? I don't get why one person isn't enough to have two? What do you think??
1 person likes this
10 responses
• United States
21 Dec 10
I prefer a monogamous relationship. I just feel that if you want an 'open' relationship it's because you don't want to be in a committing relationship Also, I never understood why you'd want to opening cheat on somebody.. if you're in a relationship, you should be in it 100% with that one person. Those are just my thoughts though.
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@deedee328 (1122)
• United States
21 Dec 10
I feel the same way. If you don't want a monogamous relationship, then don't committ yourself to one person....just keep being single and dating. It would definitely be cheating in my book. I know people who don't necessarily have the side flings, but they do have three somes. I don't get that either as in my view it is still cheating, even with your spouse there. I would worry if he is doing these things with me knowing about it, just what is he doing that I don't know about??? hmmm?
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@kodukodu84 (1569)
• Malaysia
21 Dec 10
I know some people are capable of loving few men or few girls at the same time. But as for me, it is not a good idea and I will not be happy about that. If I have a spare feeling for someone else apart from my partner which I really love then I definitely either just forget and avoid the guy or take it and leave my partner. One is enough because it is not easy to handle a love relationship. Thanks for sharing and have a nice day
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@buggles64 (2709)
• United States
21 Dec 10
I would never be in an "open relationship." There are far to many diseases out there that could be passed on from one partner to the next, and as you mentioned already...pregnancy. I think one partner is plenty as well. I just couldn't be in more than one relationship at a time. I would rather take my time and get to know "the one."
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@deedee328 (1122)
• United States
21 Dec 10
I do not believe in "open" relationships in a marriage. It just defeats the purpose of marriage and goes against God's plan. You are suppose to "become one" and cling only to each other. How can you do that if you are sharing yourself with someone other than your spouse? I don't believe you can. On a personal level, I could not tolerate such a relationship. I would share my last bite of food, my last nickle, and the clothes off my back, but I have to draw a line at sharing my spouse. I am just not that generous. If your side fling were to become stronger than the committed relationship, then there would have been something wrong there to start with. I believe that if you are truly in love your partner, then there would be no chance for you to develope stronger feelings for someone you just having a fling with. Then again, I have yet to meet any man that I want to be with more than I do my husband. I don't feel a need to sleep with, shop with, talk with, or anything with another man. I am happy and content with just being with my husband.
@yumcookie (146)
• United States
20 Dec 10
It really depends on the relationship. I understand that you should be committed to just one person but sometimes that one person doesn't work out all that well which is why, like anything else in life, we have a plan B. I know it seems shallow but if you know something is not going to work out you should always have that second option in mind. For many the second option doesn't include a spare tire (aka the back up person.) Instead they just end the relationship. But there are those who do use a spar tire after getting rid of the one that doesn't work.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
20 Dec 10
first of all you can't say you're committed to a person when u have side flings. it's not a commitment at all. i agree that we should have one person at a time. if it doesn't work it's okay. just go find another one. having more than one person at a time is not a cool thing. that's what players do. just be contented with the person you are with right now.
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@sender621 (14894)
• United States
21 Dec 10
I don't see how it is possible to be in an open relationship and a committed one as well. if you are committed to a relationship, there should be no need to have open relationships with others. having an open relationship just leaves the door open when something else doesn't pan out. Either you are committed to one person or you aren't. You can't really have it both ways.
@yan_blue8 (1437)
• Philippines
21 Dec 10
I don't believe in such word as open relationship. True, if you are committed to someone already, then you should not love someone else at the same time. It would be unfair to both parties.
• United States
22 Dec 10
Wow! No one is for it. I love it! lol. Ok so I knew a couple who had an "open relationship" Or another word would be "swingers." From what I gather, they actually choose a couple together, which means that both have to agree on both of the people included in the other couple before they would sleep with them. So it was a decision as partners. I can't tell people what to do in their life, however jealousy is just human nature and knowing or watching the person that you love do something so intimate with someone else is bound to spark insecurities, which is why we get jealous in the first place. So although they both agree, at least one of them is almost certainly going to have insecure thoughts like "what if that person is better at something than me and he/she doesn't want me anymore." After those thoughts start coming in, it's down hill from there. It is an open door for drama and I myself am not a fan of soap operas. I try to have an open mind and I did listen to the explanation of that life style, but nothing I heard convinced my mind to stop screaming "THAT'S WRONG!!!!" So I guess you get that my personal opinion is that if I am not good enough for my husband he can leave me, because I don't want to do anyone but him while we are together. Now if we were not together, I have to say that Josh Turner might have a chance if he sings to me lol.
• India
21 Dec 10
you are rite i have seen it in many reality shows and i saw my friends doing that being in a committed relationship. even my guy had relationship means affair with other girl. it hurts a lot for a person when they come to know that the person whom they love has affair with others:(