Not looking forward to holiday season :-(
@Masihi (4413)
Canada
December 21, 2010 2:44pm CST
I'm really depressed about the upcoming holiday season when the kids get thier last day of school on Wednesday. I don't want to face the constant fighting, I'm tired of being the peacemaker, I'm tired of acting like a clown to ease tense moments, it wears me down so much! In fact, I'm looking forward to the holiday season to end!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There's so much to do, so much to bake, so much to eat, so much to try to keep calm, I just want to go into Hibernation Mode and not wake up until the 1st day that school goes back in. (maybe I'll even lose a kilogram or two while hibernating, hehehe)
I made a tough decision to end an online relationship today, I know the guy really does love me, but I don't feel the same for him, and plus I"m married, and I don't want anything to do with men online.
I want to have a healthy family life but just don't know where to turn to. I pray to G-d as well,so there's one source of comfort.
I just want to be a good person, to live right, but it seems like no matter how hard I try, I don't seem like I"m good enough. I try so hard to change. I'm only beginning to stand up for myself.
*sigh*
Maybe I'll just pray this holiday season would go by so quickly.
Anyway, thanks for hearing my rant about me, myself, and I, I just don't know where else to spill my guts to. Have a safe and peaceful Holiday Season.
2 people like this
11 responses
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
21 Dec 10
The holidays can be depressing for some, as there really is always so much going on that people have a tendency to take, take and not give. So my suggestion would be to try really hard Masihi to take a few deep breaths during these busy days.
It does appear that as parents we must at all times please and appeal to all. Just do what you can and what does not get down, do not beat yourself too hard, honey as the world cannot expect you to be the super charged one at all times.
Keep telling yourself the holidays will come and go, it is the lasting effects and memories you need to hold on to. I wish you well and please take it easy as this is the only one life we have and do not get to come back.
My suggestion would be to have hubby pre-plan a mini get away just you and he and no children, where as you can feel like a real pampered person, even if it means staying home just you and he and children at the sitter for a weekend.
1 person likes this
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
22 Dec 10
Thanks, I do like the idea of reminding myself that they holidays will come and go.
Well, I'm not sure about having some "get-away" time w/Hubby, but I do know it is probably a good thing for our relationship. Unfortuantely it won't happen this holiday season, however the kids go the deaf/blind camps that Nova Scotia funds throughout the year, roughly two or three times a year, and I find we're very relaxed during those weekends. It's a wonderful respite for sure.
1 person likes this
@lumenmom (1986)
• United States
22 Dec 10
Please try not to feel too bad. There are so many people who have a hard time during the holidays. I am trying to make the best of this one since it seems that everything that could go wrong has, and now I am frantically trying to at least get my daughter one gift for Christmas. She keeps saying Santa does not like her because he forgets her on Christmas, when the sad truth is my husband makes every holiday a nightmare and we never have any money, no place to stay, etc. I was just told today a family will pay for us to stay in the hotel we are in for one week (so we will get through Christmas). I too will be glad for the holiday to end but I am also trying to keep as much Christmas spirit as I can muster through these trying times.
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
23 Dec 10
I'm so sorry you're going through a rough time, I hope all goes well with you and your daughter.
I put together a care package for each kid, like toothpaste, toothbrush, toothbrush holder, some candies, t-shirt, a small toy, that sort of thing, all from the Dollar Store. (the t-shirt only cost $2!), then I put the items into a home-made gift bag that I made form old clothing/material scrap. They're so practical, and make lovely gifts. Everything cost about $15 for each kid.
I hope that'll give you an idea, anyway.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
22 Dec 10
Oh Masihi, I'm sorry you are so down in the dumps. The holidays are stressful that's for sure. It sounds to me like you are being way too hard on yourself and trying too hard to keep everyone peaceful. One good thing you did was to end the on-line relationship. I'm sure that was one thing that was making you feel bad and uptight. I wish I had some great advice for making your world a happier place but I don't. That is something that comes from within, I think. I hope things do get better for you soon. In the meantime, this is a really good place to vent. Wishing you the best, Masihi.
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
23 Dec 10
Thanks and you as well.
I only hope that next year I'll be able to have an old-fashioned Christmas with my family with vvery few gifts and less debt, and more outdoor play. Well, I do plan on outdoor time in the woods and such, trips to the Library, maybe even getting the kids their very first Library Cards.
I'm trying...
@jahernandezrivas (11288)
• United States
22 Dec 10
Wow you have a lot on your plate so to say, first of all, Holidays are rough for us older people it can bring a lot of stress and depression to some and I am sorry that you are feeling that way, but you can't let things like that bring you down this is the time of year to be happy whether we are or not. Don't ever tell yourself you are not good enough!! You are here you are special and loved and I am sure God put us all here for a reason, and Good reasons! You just have to try to keep your head up and keep going.Kids are precious at every moment so enjoy them while they are young and enjoy the Holidays with them Christmas is especially special to children and I am sure they would want their mother to er there with them and for mom to be Happy!! Once the kids grow up it is a whole different situation to me I think when they grow up it seems to be harder.Well take it easy and try to be Happy because I hate to see anyone sad like that! Have a good day and have a great holiday!!Take Care!
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
23 Dec 10
Thanks for sharing your perspective, I'll try to enjoy as much as I can. I do know for sure that my children wants me in on the celebrations.
@ketulshah84 (81)
• India
22 Dec 10
Holidays are hard...for parents but not for Kids...but again its parents duty afterall..
when you were child you had the same freedom but not your parents...so its part of life... and this part is the most memorable part of life
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
23 Dec 10
Part of the reason I'm down is because I never did have a pleasent Christmas, in either one of my foster homes. We did get lots of gifts, but that's not the point, there was always too much stress, fighting, too much to do, no time to breathe.
I don't want that for my kids.
@maryjane41 (90)
• Abbeville, Mississippi
22 Dec 10
i felt the same way about the holidays when my children were little. but know i would not take a penny for the memories that we have then. they are a handful. and can be nerve racking. but when you stop and think about it. you will always have your memories. because they do not stay little for long.
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
23 Dec 10
That is most certainly true!, My little guy is growing up so fast!
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
22 Dec 10
i can totally understand what you mean... i don't have any children yet but i can feel your frustration having to deal with kids everyday 24/7 during the holiday season... hopefully you can still enjoy it even though you have to work extra hard during these times... good luck... take care and have a nice day...
@GardenGerty (157551)
• United States
21 Dec 10
How old are your kids? They fight to get attention and they succeed. I was fortunate that my two kids did not fight, but when I did child care it was a whole different story. There were fights and tattling, and cheating at games and so forth. Is there some kind of a game you can think of that they can cooperate on? The fighting is a bad habit that they have developed and it will need to be broken. You need to be able to ignore the bad and reward the good. If nothing else, feel free to come back on here and rant.
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
22 Dec 10
Aye, the kids practically start WWIII with their fights, then Hubby gets in, thus signalling all the armies from Russia and the Middle East to get ready! 
It does get so tense that I end up going to bed, or drinking much more tea than what it's good for me. My kids are 17 months apart. I hope they grow out if it soon, though.
It does get so tense that I end up going to bed, or drinking much more tea than what it's good for me. My kids are 17 months apart. I hope they grow out if it soon, though.
@benhilo (871)
• Tripoli, Libya
22 Dec 10
Hi Masihi. I am somewhat like you during the holidays. I have generally gone into hiding sort of speak. I call it my hibernation period. However, I may do it for different reasons than you. I can see in your case you can't do what I do since you have children.
As a side note, Bible has a wonderful saying, "blessed are the peacemakers". Don't stop doing it. In this day and age as conflicts increase in frequency, peacemaker are sorely needed.
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
23 Dec 10
Yes, in the Beatitudes, it is a lovely sermon :-) Thanks for the reminder.
@Anora_Eldorath (6028)
• United States
22 Dec 10
Masihi-
I think at times we'll always be the moderators for our children despite age. You may be experiencing SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder), and that can be easily taken care of with illumination.
All of us seem to fall into that "rush" trap now and then where holidays are concerned. The best suggestion I have is to remember to breathe. Make a list of things you need to do so you can check them off when you are done. It will give you a sense of accomplishment.
I'm poly so we don't have issues about having online relationships. However, you can only do what is comfortable for yourself. And you know your limits.
I wish you the best this holiday season.
Namaste-Anora
@cicisnana (772)
• United States
22 Dec 10
As far as the kids being out of school, I would try to find activities for them to do. Active children are least likely to fight. I have 6 children and I know how that goes. But it can be very easy to entertain them very cheaply. Good luck with your season!
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
23 Dec 10
Yes, we do plan on going outside for walks in the woods, that sort of thing.
