What would you do?

United States
December 23, 2010 8:37am CST
My daughter's boyfriend is in jail. His friends gave my daughter a few hundred dollarr to bail him out. But,he has no health insurance and they helped him with so much he needed so he said not to bail him out because he needed the medical help. Now my daughter has used over $200 of this money and today I told her to write him and tell him what she did. She said no I don't want to hear his mouth. He will be home Jan 3rd. My daughter is 16 with no job. Who should pay this money back? Also you know about my over draft right well. The bank took off $340 and said I have to pay $200 by Jan 01, which I plan to do bright and early in the morning. I will have bill money and $200 for food. I can't see me paying this money back to these people. But,I worry if he may get mad and hit my daughter. Because thei would cause me to get locked up. Thanks
1 person likes this
8 responses
@celticeagle (117728)
• Boise, Idaho
23 Dec 10
What a kettle of worms! Legally you're responsible. Morally you know the answer to that one. I would not allow him to come around. Isn't he older than your daughter, by quite a bit? You are the LAW in your household. If he raises a ruccus I would call the authorities too. When she gets her alottment you were talking about she can chose to pay him back. Up to her at this point unless he takes her to court which I would doubt.
• United States
24 Dec 10
I know he will not take her to court. He may get mad with her because it was a stupid thing to do. I think over all I may be stressing too much. I will see what happens. thanks for this..
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (117728)
• Boise, Idaho
24 Dec 10
Ya, perhaps so. Try to enjoy the season and see what falls out.
@sid556 (31006)
• United States
23 Dec 10
Hi Gifts, Wow. That daughter of yours is always getting herself into situations, isn't she? Now this is the same little girl who felt she was old enough to move in with this guy and feels you should just hand her over her soc. sec. money?? No...you should NOT pay this back. She should. Oh wait...she can't. Well, she has to figure this out. It's called dealing with the consequences of your choices and actions. This is not entirely her fault. His friends should have put their money together to bail him out themselves rather than to give the cash to a 16 yr old girl. Her boyfriend has no business being angry at her since it wasn't his money. Now his friends may expect their money back and they probably will. They are the ones that she will probably have to answer to, I'm thinking. Oh Gifts, I hope this girl learns soon. I don't think you should pay it but I do see your concerns for her safety. Maybe if she talks to them, she could pay them the amount of her Soc. Sec. that you were going to give her for allowance until they are paid off.
• United States
23 Dec 10
We had a big and I mean big blow up in this house and I told her the only thing she was getting from me wash,food,shelter,and her needs and nothing more. This would be right in time for this. I am concerned for her safety but this is one thing I can't see myself paying. She paid $60 to take a cab to a friends house. She even bought annother tattoo. Lord only knows what she did with the rest.
@sid556 (31006)
• United States
24 Dec 10
Yep, it's time to let her feel the consequences of her choices. Most places it is illegal to get a tatoo under age 18 unless you have the parents signature. I'm guessing she got it from some friend that does them out of his house? Lets just hope it was sanitary. Stand tough on this one, gifts.
• United States
23 Dec 10
Just wait it out gifts and do not pay the money yourself. Maybe after he gets out your daughter can pay him little by little with the money you normally give her. I see you are leaving town tonight, so do not worry about it and have a great time.
• United States
24 Dec 10
yes,we are out of town for a few days,no school so we will be here for a few days..
@bunnybon7 (35900)
• Holiday, Florida
23 Dec 10
you need to remind him before he even sees her, shes only 16yrs old and he should not have trusted a young lady like that with money as she isnt old enough to be really responsible. its his fault and also, tell him if he touches her he could end up right back in jail and even prison because shes under age, so, he would be getting several years of medical help maybe you should tell him before or the very minute he gets out.
• United States
24 Dec 10
he never gave her any money at all. That was his friends that gave her the money. he told her to give a few of them their money back and told her to hold the rest. i guess some must have owed him money. I see your point and will write him if she does not.. Thanks very much..
@saizo6 (2211)
• United States
23 Dec 10
It's just one thing after another for you isn't it? In this situation you can't be held responsible for that money. Considering you're not the one spending that money on useless things like a tattoo. It's between your daughter and those people that let her hold onto the money in the first place. Definitely do not bail her out of this situation. She won't learn anything otherwise. She'd have to hash out some kind of arrangement with those people who placed the money in her care herself. I honestly think that your daughter has got her priorities wrong and even if she is still a teenager she should have the common sense to know not to spend money that isn't hers and that she won't be able to pay back. Seriously, let her deal with it on her own. Just be on the lookout from the sidelines or something to insure that no one gets violent and hurt her.
• United States
24 Dec 10
I am with you all the way on thhis one. But,after my daughter's face was slashed by that girl I am very afraid of anything happening to her. I am just so fed up with this child getting in mess that leaves me stressed. I don't know these people who are giving her this money or what they may do. Thanks you so much..
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
27 Dec 10
Your daughter used it, she should accept the responsibility. If he hits her he will go back to jail. I would tell her to tell him with people around. I hope you get things straightened out with your own finances.
@lingli_78 (12846)
• Australia
24 Dec 10
i think you shouldn't pay the money back for your daughter... your daughter have to earn the money and pay the money back herself... she has to learn to be responsible for her own actions since the situation involves her boyfriend... and she is already 16... that means she has to learn to be responsible as an adult... take care and have a nice day...
@kay2010 (178)
• United States
24 Dec 10
Regardless of how old or young your daughter is, I say she made her mess and now she needs to clean it up. Your daughter took that money for the intention to bail out her boyfriend, but still made the choice to spend it. For that reason, it is her responsibility alone to replace that money. She obviously thinks she can do whatever she wants, so you should make her get a job and replace the money. If she can't get it all together in time, then you can choose to help her if you want to, but then make her pay you back. It will teach your daughter the consequences of her actions, and also teach her what it means to earn her way.