How do you manage your anger?

Saudi Arabia
December 28, 2010 2:14pm CST
I think it is interesting to know how you manage your anger. My housemate had just slammed her door after kicking the door using her usual side-kick style three times when her boyfriend had forgotten to buy her a birthday present. I get to know another way of anger management applied by a married couple. The wife told her husband that whenever she gets angry, she would just brush the toilet. Her husband looking very puzzle, asked her how it would help her? She answered that by doing so, she would feel very relief. Her husband then told her that in that case, she should gets angry more often so that the toilet will be clean all the time. She then told him that he would prefer her not to because whenever she is angry, she would brush the toilet using his toothbrush!! I couldn't imagine what I would feel if I am her husband then. And how would you manage your anger?
3 people like this
13 responses
@cheongyc (5075)
• Malaysia
2 Jan 11
I will usually take a few deep breath to calm myself down. Most of my anger are manageable. If I am so outraged, I would bang on the table or on the wall, as an effort to release my compressed emotions. The story above is very interesting. The husband must be shocked that he had been using a contaminated toothbrush so far. Happy posting and have a nice day!
• Saudi Arabia
3 Jan 11
Oh! That is a great idea, cheongyc. I also apply this method of taking deep breathe when my temper gets hot sometimes. I closed my eyes and let go of those hot fumes. Good to hear that your anger are manageable most of the time but I hope your bang on the table or wall doesn't hurt you too much or too strong that it break the table or made a hole on the wall. Yes, the husband was not only shocked but he was upset. He quickly washed his mouth several times for having used such an unhygienic toothbrush all this while. He asked his wife many times if she really seriously used his toothbrush to wash the toilet. She answered, "As much as your trust in me, my dear". Do you think she really did that to her husband? Thanks so much for your reply. Have a great day!!
2 people like this
@lkbooi (16101)
• Malaysia
7 Jan 11
It's disgusting as well to learn that the toothbrush has been using to brush the nasty toilet. If I were to be her husband I will keep vomiting for sure. I couldn't tolerate to have wife having such undesired way to vent her anger and regardless of the hygiene and health of his husband. I believe if the wife really loves his spouse she won't do in this awesome way.
1 person likes this
@cheongyc (5075)
• Malaysia
13 Jan 11
Hi Ket Ping, Thanks again for sharing such interesting story. I think she didn't do that for real to her husband. She just warn her husband not to annoy her as much as possible. You are most welcome and have a great day too! Hi lkbooi, Ya, I think I will vomit on hearing such explanation. I believe that the wife is the story won't do it actually. It's just a way to express her dissatisfaction through in such a unique way. Happy posting and have a nice day!
@krajibg (11939)
• Guwahati, India
29 Dec 10
Hi, I try to control my anger through self development. I feel if my getting angry would not bring anything fruitful why not I control it and get rid of the tensions. Besides in our city there is an anger management institute. However I have not gone to that. And if I feel like I would not mind to get myself there.
• United Arab Emirates
29 Dec 10
i know im short tempered, i cant cotrol my anger but all my loved ones know that if im angry get him away for soemtimes an ill be back after a while with the same cool attitude its only the matter of time for me to get myself out of my anger the point is that nobody should be around once im pissed of anybody so to be prevented from my hatful words....
@krajibg (11939)
• Guwahati, India
29 Dec 10
Thats a good idea indeed.
• Saudi Arabia
5 Jan 11
Very wise thinking and good self development,krajibg. It will be good if you can share with us what you have learnt from the anger management institute if you have ever attend it. You are right. There is no point being angry. So keep cool and be happy always. Thanks so your contribution.
@lkbooi (16101)
• Malaysia
29 Dec 10
Hi ketping8889, when I was young I got angry very easy. I feel rather embarrassed to share it with you how I reacted during my teenage. I notice that me, as well as the people I know have become rather calm and not as easy as those young days and prone to fly into a temper that fast and sometimes just for a small matter lol... One of my female colleagues would repeat the same story to all the workmates in office one by one. Actually all the staffs in the same office know very well what she had happened when the incident was told to the first person. There are over fifteen persons in the office and you could imagine how monotonous and fed up to listen her to fly her tantrum in such a disgusting way whenever she is contradicted What to do? lol....someone is chanting... Have a nice day
• Saudi Arabia
30 Dec 10
Do not feel embarassed about being quick temper when you were young. I was also fast tempered. I think when we are young, we are energetic hence our reactions are fast. So we may have reacted when provoked. Frankly we can not possibly prevent other people around us from spreading news about us, may even magnified the matter or add salt and pepper to it thus making the situation worse and issue hot. This can be very annoying and disgusting too. However, it is good to leave the past behind and live happily now with a well controlled mental power which is able to overcome any degree of anger with a smile or an unaffected mind. Cool as you are now!! Have a great day and Happy New Year 2011.
1 person likes this
@lkbooi (16101)
• Malaysia
7 Jan 11
I did ketping8889, especially at the time my anger had cool down. Yeah, when young the surplus energy made us to fly into a tantrum that fast and easy just for a trifle. This always happened while together with our loved ones. It's really disappointed that the awful fuss ended the joyousness atmosphere on a sour note very often. When getting aged we then realize that time is limited and precious therefore don't waste our valuable time getting cross with someone easily. Nevertheless I still would get angry occasionally lol... for to know is easy but to do is difficult Further more as a normal human being we should possess the four passions of anger, grief, joy and happiness right?! Hopefully the last two are always along with us. Happy posting
• Saudi Arabia
14 Jan 11
It is fine to be angry occasionally , lkbooi.We are human beings and sometimes our anger were beyond our control. So it is wise to be able to manage it in such a way that our anger is short lived. Flankly, it is sad to see other people brood their anger lasting for such a long time when the matter is so trivial and no harm was inflicted to them. So why so angry?? This is when anger management is required. We should all bring joy,love, peace, happiness and bliss within us and also to others, regardless of our age. However, if anger arise it should be tappered immediately and disappears within seconds. I am sure you are able to go slightly beyond average human beings, lkbooi. Thanks for your reply and happy posting.
@mdorki (125)
• Germany
28 Dec 10
If I were her husband, my feelings and reaction would mostly depends on my feelings for her. I might divorce her in case I did not love her that much or start using well-hidden secret tooth brush instead of the one displayed for her to see in case my love for her was strong. As for managing my anger, I would do that in my usual way. I yell at computer or some poor item that lies in my way. When I am too angry I usually punch the boxing bag or the wall if there is no bag. It is a great way of relieving stress. It hurts a bit and can end with more serious injury, but no one else gets hurt. Most of the time, no one even notices that I got rid of my steam as I can keep my control until I am alone and do not disturb anyone with my behavior.
@joodzki6 (596)
• Philippines
29 Dec 10
in my case, i really don't talk much when i'm angry. I'd rather stay quiet than saying words that sometimes when you're angry, you can't control the words that will come out your mouth. So, most of the time, when i'm angry, i really keep my mouth shut. In that case, you will not hurt someone else's feelings. : )
• Saudi Arabia
30 Dec 10
Glad to receive your response, mdorki. Oh! You will divorce her! So serious? I prefer to have the well-hidden secret toothbrush instead! Interesting actually. It may be fine to let go of your anger on items around you, punch bag or the wall. But sometimes our anger can be so intense that it can take control over us and we may end up being badly hurt and breaking costly items which may have sentimental value too. Therefore, I think it is better to keep quiet and avoiding any further interaction with the person concerned as you have mentioned. Thanks, mdorki and have a nice day!!
• Saudi Arabia
30 Dec 10
Hi joozki6. You are right.It is better to refrain from talking rather than saying the wrong things at the wrong time and hurting the person's feelings. Thank you for your participation, joozki6.
@calpro (933)
• India
29 Dec 10
Hi ketping8889, She is too unfair towards him and I just can't digest that she cleans toilet with his toothbrush when she is angry,its really pity for him. Okay coming to anger management there are several ways to control our anger. The most commonly told are below 1. Count 1 to 10 numbers 2. Take deep breaths for 3 minutes 3. Hold a soft ball and press it To add to the above I follow the below when I tend to get angry 1. First think of the other person's action and how far it will adversely effect me, most of them would not really have any loss and that reduces the intensity of the situation and slowly we tend to relax 2. The second thing what I do is I effectively communicate to other person about his actions and the potential loss going to happen. This is most important to avoid future mistakes by the other one and thereby less of chances getting angry on others. The above two principles I follow with my colleagues and also my family members including of my 5 year old son. Happy Living and Happy New year 2011 Calpro
• Ethiopia
29 Dec 10
here is what am doing when i got angry.i become silent for a while every time i get angry,can't even say a word to the ppl they make me angry.i of-course hate this behavior...it hurts me so much even i want to avoid it and need free discussion about the thing but i can't..does anybody has solution for me too?...tnx.
• Saudi Arabia
30 Dec 10
Hi Calpro, I think it is mean of her to do that to her husband. It is unhygienic and I do not think her did it actually. Maybe she was joking with her husband. Most wives will not be so unkind to their husbands. The principles which your family and colleagues followed are very practical. It is good to analize the root cause of the situation and how to rectify it. Following that, it is wise to discuss the situation with all persons who are involved. After verifying, those who participated in the meeting should shake hands and hug each other and be in good terms again. Thank you for your helpful information, Calpro. It is thoughtful of you to share your knowledge with others.
@Suggar (3612)
• Bulgaria
5 Jan 11
Last one was funny How i deal with my anger? It depends why i'm angry. If the reason is another person, i'll talk to my boyfriend and will share my disappointment and bad emotions because of what the other person did. If it's my boyfriend, i'll talk with him. If it's life (lately often the reason for my anger is the life and the situations we got) i become more motivated to make things better, so the situation to satisfy me.
• Saudi Arabia
14 Jan 11
Hi Suggar, you are lucky to have an understanding boyfriend who would listen and discuss with you when you are angry. It is good to decide then how to manage your anger with him. Wow! It is also wonderful that you are able to turn anger being a negative emotion into motivation and opportunity to improve situations.That's an excellent method of managing anger. Thank you, Suggar.
@llbo1981 (1242)
• China
31 Dec 10
Manage our anger is a hard problem to do.I think there are many ways to manage anger,but whether they are good or not need test in daily life.One way is lead a happy life and don't get anger.One way is to do exercise when you anger
• Saudi Arabia
14 Jan 11
Hi llbo, you are right. It is good to lead a hppiness life and free of negative emotions like anger. Yeah, doing exercise does help to lay the anger aside and cool down.It is also healthy for our body provided we are doing it gently and not aggressively as the result of anger. Thanks for your response.
@arystine (1275)
• Philippines
29 Dec 10
I am one of those who's rarely angry. But let me tell you, when I'm angry, you better stay away from me. A person can immediately tell when I am angry because I am such a transparent person. When I'm in an angry mood, there is nothing a person can do or say that can make me smile and forget my anger. Through the years, I learned to control the consequences of my anger. I cannot control my temper, but I can minimize the ill effects of my anger. I do this by refusing to talk or comment whenever I am angry. By informing a person not to force me to talk when I am mad because I might say things that I'll regret later. I try to put up a demeanor that I am in an angry mood and that one has to respect my mood and stay away from me, or else risk my wrath. LOL.
• Saudi Arabia
6 Jan 11
Thanks for sharing your style of handling your anger, arystine. Good that you do not get angry often. I do agree that there is a tendency of saying things that we will regret later therefore it is wise not to talk and keep away from others who we may hurt by our body language or facial expression when we get angry. Have a great day and happy posting.
@jhartana (1085)
• Australia
29 Dec 10
Sometimes when I was angry that I was using my emotion than to think it first. I was supposed to listen the words first then I use my brain to think if I have a point to argue then I can talk. My wife always reminds me not to shout at her as she did not like being shouted. She kept telling me to use my brain first before saying something because words can determine everything. If I were angry I would kept my mouth shut and to calm myself down. I do require time to calm myself down and to reflect myself why have I done that. My wife suggested that was not the best thing to do because she also reminded me that prevention is better than fix. I may not used yet to this but I am now learning to be a better man. Instead of shouting I am now learning to answer it with soft voice. I know it's not easy for me but I think that learning these things not only making myself better but it is also my own good sake that I would be more accepted by friends.
• Saudi Arabia
5 Jan 11
Oh! That is a very good method of managing your anger.jhartana. Now you are much better person than before. I am so happy for you and your wife. Congratulation to you for such great improvement. Well done. Keep up the good work.
• United States
29 Dec 10
Haha, that's quite interesting! I vent my anger by writing through poetry and stories... I'd prefer not to get angry, for you tend to lose control of your emotions. I tend to do something strenuous and requiring much thought so I can get away from myself (or the present situation) and be "alone" for a while in a whole different world.
• Saudi Arabia
30 Dec 10
Hmmmm, that's a healthy means of venting your anger, Starrtwilightamber. Thanks so much. Have a wonderful day! Happy posting too!
• India
29 Dec 10
When I was a young kid, I use to break lot of valuables at home when I got angry. But now when I use to work in company, where each and every day there will be some misunderstanding...sometimes which makes me very very angry, I can't break something and show my anger... :) So now a days I used to sit calm. Or else mostly what I do is...to take a cup of coffee and go outside and have a walk. This generally helps me to cool down.
• Saudi Arabia
30 Dec 10
Hi Love4kolkata, your ways of managing anger by taking a cup of coffee, going outside and having a walk are definately much better than breaking things and showing your anger. Thanks for sharing. Have a great day!
• United States
28 Dec 10
Wow, let me tell you that was a good response you have to admit it was a bit catchy and imaginative. Personally when I get angry I tend to kind of repeative and ask the same question or continue to say the same statement and replay the scenario over and over again, whether it is to myself or with someone else. It usually escalates and I tend to start getting aggitated and eventually I will break down and cry. I think that on few ocassions I have attempted to punch things, but not very often. If I got to sleep angry I also tend to grind my teeth in my sleep so the next morning my mouth is a bit sore. But I try not to stay angry for to long, what's the point!!! Normally when I see myself in this situation I try to go outside for a bit of fresh air and a small walk or spend sometime alone away from everyone else, so that I can avoid screaming at them or getting aggrevated with them. Once I have calmed down I will sit down and talk with someone, so that I can get it off my chest, I never try to hold anything in that is the worst you can do.
• Saudi Arabia
30 Dec 10
Hi Fabsprecious, it is certainly good not to stay angry and bottled up our anger. Yes, letting it out and walking outside for fresh air are good ways of managing our anger. Let the wind blow it off and let bygones be bygones. Thank you so much for your suggestions. Have a great day and happy Mylotting.
@kirthy (387)
• India
29 Dec 10
hi, my husband can not control his anger. so he uses words , sometimes beating, hurting himself. after he felt about it. i dont know how to control it.