Is It Not Abuse Too?

@erikmama (12929)
United States
December 28, 2010 10:08pm CST
After a meeting that I had earlier and reading an article about a mother who killed her infant in a washing machine, it got me to thinking. It is something that I guess I have always wondered, too. With the state Children's services that are there to protect innocent children who are being abused, so many things are often overlooked. There are things that, if you ask me, are abuse, but because the child is not being physically touched or neglected, their heads are turned the other way. Often these things turn in to far more serious issues, even death of a child. The things that I am talking about are the basic things we should provide our children. Love, nurturing, kindness. What about these parents who teach their kids to be in gangs, that verbally abuse their kids, that feed them nothing but junk if they feed them all day ? The parents who sleep til 2 or 3 in the afternoon with no regards to their kids eating, bathing, or well-being? Is this not a form of child abuse too?
3 people like this
7 responses
@lelin1123 (15644)
• Puerto Rico
29 Dec 10
Without a doubt its abuse. Parents who are sleeping to all hours of the day while their kids are wondering through the apartment or house with no guidance is abuse. I cringe when thinking about how many children out there are being abused in this manner, physically or mentally. I swear parents to be should have to get a license to have a child in today's society. If we need a license to drive, to get married or to have a certain career then parenthood should require a license too. They need to take a physical exam and a mental exam plus take parenting classes before even getting pregnant, this is my opinion. It makes me cry to know how many kids out there are being abused each and everyday.
2 people like this
@lelin1123 (15644)
• Puerto Rico
8 Jan 11
Thank you once again for the best response mark erikmama. I hope the beginning of this new year as been a good one for you so far. God Bless!
@cryw0lf (1302)
• United Kingdom
30 Dec 10
That is a form of child abuse as it affects the Childs behaviour, wellbeing and emotional needs. However it is not as widely recognized as actual physical abuse because emotional abuse can be Alot harder to 'see'.
2 people like this
@erikmama (12929)
• United States
31 Dec 10
It is such a shame that in the eyes of the state o r government or whoever it is that oversses the children services that things such as this can not be grounds for removal from a child from the home. THese things can be just as dmagaing, if not more to the child than physical abuse.
• Hong Kong
29 Dec 10
I guess you're right, they are abuse too. So that I think the government should publicise the importance of a good parent to the children. Also , citizens should be taught that they should think twice before having a baby . If not, and if the baby is only a product of their excitement, the outcome and future of that baby would be very grave. They will be lacking of love, leading a cold childhood, and finally affect the whole life of that child .
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (102535)
• United States
29 Dec 10
Some of these things will get a child removed from a home, but it depends on how old the child is. The social services are often over stretched, but I have known of children who went into foster care for some of these issues. Other times, these issues help make a child eligible for community based preschools and Headstart at no charge to parents. The law is designed to give heavier weight to preserving the family, but like you, I have seen times where they needed to be out of the home.
@erikmama (12929)
• United States
30 Dec 10
Well, I have a suggestion. Instead of worrying about money to fight a war that is not being won, instead of funding money for bans onn dogs or to build unnecassary stadiums and convention centers, give that money to the agencies that is actually helping. And hire quality people. I think that that is another problem. A lack of caring anc concerned people. I see so many cases where I feel so bad for these kids. Kids that act and do certain things, and you know it is all in the things they have seen and hear. A 5 year old stating he wishes to be a gang member is crazy. You are suppose to want more for your kids, so I thought.
1 person likes this
@bounce58 (17524)
• Canada
30 Dec 10
I think that every child has the right to all basic necessities. And I think that love and nurturing is part of that basic necessities. It is sad when you see some kids are deprived of these. And I do think that this is a form of abuse too. It is even sadder when you see some ill-equipped parents teaching and showing their kids some abuse.
1 person likes this
@erikmama (12929)
• United States
30 Dec 10
And it is even sadder that these forms of abuse are allowed to happen and there is nothing in the world that can be done about it. You hear all of the time about preventing children from doing this and doing that and it all starts in the yome. I have an idea, do not let any old Sally that wants a baby have one. Then maybe we would see more positive things in the world, maybe there would be less voilence less crime. I can completley understand how some of these teenagers act after seeing there parents and it is so sad bounce. Just like my other discussion about the woman and the baby. You cruel cold hearted b!tch. Why did she have her baby in the first place?
• United States
29 Dec 10
From what I have heard from friends who worked in the system they may look at education classes, parenting classes, before they just rip children out of a home. The things you describe fall under neglect, and depending upon the age of the parents it could very well be that they have not learned how yet to be good parents. In terms of letting children sleep in, let me share with you a story. My husband used to work the 3-11 shift. Our son was on a fairly good sleep cycle until he turned a year. After that he would wake up every night when he heard his daddy come in the door around midnight. At first we'd do the lights out, rock, give a bottle, change the diaper, and put him back to bed. However, the more we did this the more he cried. He was to the point of being absolutely hysterical. So, one night we all got up and went out to the living room and played. We played a few games with his toys, watched a few programs on Sprout, and what do you know the boy passed out in daddy's arms. So, at a check up we asked his doctor about this and if this was healthy because he'd sleep then until daddy got up the next day. Our doctor said all our son had done was change his sleeping patterns because he knew when the family would be "together" and as our son was young, had no school obligations to worry about that we should just go with it and not worry so much. Once we did that our son was perfectly content, we were happy with some extra time when the husband got home from work and things were fine. Now my husband is on grave yards so my son and daughter have adjusted their sleep habits to suit this so they can be up when he's up. As they are not in school we allow them to do what is suitable for them. So, to judge someone on such things and call it abuse seems a bit much until you know the full story. I would like to think that CPS for the most part does their best to get the full story. We have to remember that we don't all come from the same culture and things that we consider "abuse" may very well not be abuse, but simply a different way of doing things. I'm not saying verbal abuse or gangs are right, but I've seen people try to say a Kosher diet was abusing the child, so that's what I'm getting at. Namaste-Anora
1 person likes this
@erikmama (12929)
• United States
6 Jan 11
Could be the case, I suppose. Of course they have not learned how to be good parent yet, or these things would not be happening. I guess if this is how you were raised then it is all that you know. But I feel that many times mental issues are there, and a lot of immaturity onthe part of a parent, epsecially for those who are young. I think maybe you read that wrong because I was stating parents who allow their kids to roam around all during the day while their parents sleep. I have seen this happen with 1 year old babies whose diapers just collapse they are so full, who have crued and cried wanting a bottle. And I even saw one poor kid who didn't even cry anymore because he was so ise to it. I know the baby had to be hungry and wanting a new diaper and it made me sick. I do not really base these things on assumptions, it is things that I have actually seen happen, and while every situation is different, the storeis that I am refering to are actual abuse, in my opionion. Silly things such as allowing yor kids to stay up or sleep odd hours or eating weird foods or whatever is a personal choice and by no means is not abuse.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
6 Jan 11
Many of the things that you've mentioned are what I would consider to be emotional abuse, and yes I do think that it should count as abuse. I think that there are a lot of cases that being emotionally abused is worse than being physically abused. My daughter was emotionally abused by a child care provider when she was smaller. I didn't realize what was happening to her until I was told that she wasn't to return to the daycare (she was three years old) until I put her back in diapers. The child care provider abused her by not letting her use the bathroom as I had taught her. I removed her from the situation and she started to flourish. It is because of that experience that I decided none of my children would ever be in any form of daycare again.
@erikmama (12929)
• United States
6 Jan 11
I can say from first-hand experinece that mental and emotional abuse is far worse. I can not imagine what a child goes through with it considering what I felt with it. I think it is a repeating cycle that these people grow up to repeat with their children and it is where a lot of crime and other non-sense occurs. Daycares are the worst sometimes, and I can not imagine what I would do if I had been in your situation. I do not understand why they ehthought that i t was ok to do this to your daughter, and I am sorry to hear that it happened