Is it good if we always bring up the past?
By gengeni
@gengeni (3308)
Indonesia
December 29, 2010 9:47am CST
For men, the problem that has reached an end, never discussed again. "For what? It's a waste of time.
There are other issues like baseball only, "so their reasons. The problem is, what they think is a waste of time turned out to be a concern of women.
Understandably, for women, the question of a lump in the liver, it is difficult to be considered finished.
The mouth may say, "Okay, we forget about this problem.
"But in the heart, whoa! To bob up and down about the issue, they think you're great.
Nah no death. You always find a gap to raise the issue to the surface.
In looking at the problem, men and women are different.
The man wanted the issue resolved quickly, after that they will forget.
In contrast to women, tend to want to discuss the issue thoroughly, at least until he was satisfied with the answer.
Usually issues whatever they think is already finished, and it still be unfinished business in your eyes.
actually what is expected if always bring up the past? anyway eventually will always be a quarrel that should not need to happen.
whether the past will always be a lesson? anyway eventually will always repeat the same thing .....
thank you for your opinion
4 people like this
21 responses
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
29 Dec 10
It would have to depend on what kind of past is brought up. there can be many good things about the past. if it is just dredging up a pior relationship, ththat can have an outcome we may not be ready for.1 person likes this
@littlefranciscan (18327)
• United States
29 Dec 10
I agree with you sender..some times bringing up good memories
when one is in a bad time ..helps one to look forward with hope.
@kendedes2011 (2712)
• Indonesia
29 Dec 10
I'm sure that cut no single human being in this world who wants his life bitter and bitter, but often inevitable destiny sdh although we try as much as possible to avoid the problem,
when a when a person who makes our past bitter as ridicule, there is karma, and he should have realized it, taunting and humiliating then one day be treated as such,
intend and did according fine day for which we shall also reap good,
also need to remember, that the past half-good is not going to die vonnis how will the next person's life, there is always a valuable lesson tucked behind every problem, which usually form the trigger redeem various errors which had already occurred, and finally when accompanied by prayer, success will welcome, prosperity alive mentally and physically waiting not far in front,
life is cause and effect in the context of karma,
mocking be teased,
cornered one day be defeated,
so let us intend that either - either wrote,
for we shall also reap good,
1 person likes this
@nakula2009 (2325)
• Indonesia
1 Jan 11
an argument and conversations that have involved getting personal ego and often out of objektifitas,so there is no benefit to be derived from leveraging the past, even just going to prolong the recovery process itself wound.but if both have the same platform and commitment to improve relations in the days to come, then the discussions and conversations about the past will become something normal.
@kendedes2011 (2712)
• Indonesia
29 Dec 10
difference if a man is always indifferent and did not want to know if the problem was settled, while women are weak creatures and sensitive and tend to always look back all the problems have been experienced before
1 person likes this
@calpro (930)
• India
30 Dec 10
Hi gengeni,
Whether it is for men or women it is always good to forget the past. It is good to learn lesson from the past mistakes that does not mean to carry your past in the present. Carrying the past will also ruin the present situation. To lead a happy life learn lessons from the past and leave the past behind.
Happy Living & Happy New year 2011
Calpro
@meenneixz (668)
• Philippines
30 Dec 10
Hi, I think there is no wrong in bringing up and remembering the memories of our past. We are molded with our past, we are never be the same without it, what we are now is the result of what we are before, and the decisions we make.We get stronger with the problems we had before. But there are some parts of our past that still clings in our mind that we need to forget.We have to forget it since the more we think of it the more we are hurt. Past is past we can do nothing to change it, we have to look ahead to present and future and be cautious that our previous mistakes and wrong decisions will not happen again.
See you around.
@eurekafemme (5877)
• Philippines
30 Dec 10
Hi there, Gengeni.
Past is past and let bygones be bygones. Though, this is so easy to say but it is really hard to forget the past especially if that past is still haunting your present and must still be clinging to your future. A past should have a closure just like anything else in order to be buried in the world of oblivion for good. Any past that remains unresolved will always come up to the surface like a ghost whenever something triggered it.
Past which caused tremendous pain should be settled and closed so that it can never has reasons to resurfaced...
Past is past and let bygones be bygones. Though, this is so easy to say but it is really hard to forget the past especially if that past is still haunting your present and must still be clinging to your future. A past should have a closure just like anything else in order to be buried in the world of oblivion for good. Any past that remains unresolved will always come up to the surface like a ghost whenever something triggered it.
Past which caused tremendous pain should be settled and closed so that it can never has reasons to resurfaced... @Tamijuddin (81)
• India
30 Dec 10
Gengeni, you have failed to understand the mentality of men. Most of the time, men are preoccupied with tons of things in their mind and character. When it comes to a closure, they just brush it aside considering that is the end. But for women, every thing is serious and inborn. The repercussion surfaces always, no matter your mental strength, making you sick and unresolved. Past life incidents should always teach you a lesson, not to repeat if it is a bad experience.
Take everything positively and analyse the situation before it ends up in a quarrel.
Best of Luck
Happy and peaceful New Year
@samurai3x (65)
• Indonesia
30 Dec 10
I think not only women who like to bring up the past, because as long as I know many people, men also like to bring up the past. And on the contrary, many women who do not like to bring up the past, because they really want to forget the past.
It is better to leverage our past to know what needs fixing from the mistakes that have occurred so everyone can learn from these errors. However, it is worth a past into a history that is not necessary in the recalled again, because it would disrupt future.
The most important thing to do is communicate, ask him what he needs from the past, and if it needs to be disclosed as a favor then tell me this, so that all can feel the happiness, because it does not happen a secret between the relationship.
@rifnee (1713)
• Indonesia
30 Dec 10
I totally agree with you.
I like your description above, because the same thing that I feel now.
I think the girl is not willing to bring up the past just that she want to get to know her partner more in the way of knowing their partners in the past. Although the guy does not like it, but that's the innate nature of girls, like how well it continues to happen.
there is a saying which says: 'experience of a / teachers' most valuable'.
Experience 'right we get from the past.would not exist today if the past is also not there, right?
Just wrote, the past as well as our experiences to become better.
If the problem repeats the same thing,what thing? thing bitter or sweet reply? It all depends not on ourselves.
Only a stupid person, who can make mistakes 2 times.
@pit33pit (534)
• Indonesia
30 Dec 10
The first preview of new problems to find a way out. about seeing the past like a man who was running as he would always turn round and fell hard to achieve goals.
@roshannawaz (1)
•
30 Dec 10
Yeah! i think we should not talk about past but also never forget about the past because every moment of life may be past or present teaches us a lesson...its like if you dont save the money now it will become hard to survive, at a later stage the present becomes past and the future becomes present...hope u got it.
@niko007 (5)
• Indonesia
30 Dec 10
Usually women leveraging past if you saw any similarities between the events of the present with the past. She was afraid of the past repeated. And anxiety that may have a point, as you yourself say:
"anyway eventually will always repeat the same thing ...". Therefore, there should be awareness and consensus that what happened was it was wrong and regretted, and was determined not to repeat again. Think about and discuss, what alternatives should be taken if you have the same situation, so do not do the same. If you show seriousness, women will be more calm and not easy to bring up the past again.
@littlefranciscan (18327)
• United States
29 Dec 10
The only time the past should be brought up should be when its something that will
be helpful and beneficial.. good memories..that is.. IF it's not something
good and it will only cause pain; leave the past in the past and it's never
good to bring up that kind of past.
@chillpill90 (1936)
•
29 Dec 10
I do not think that any goood can come from talking about the past as it cannot be changed no matter how much you want to. Sometimes talking about what has happened brings back bad memories or can make things worse. I think the past should be left there and you should focus on the future.
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
29 Dec 10
Hi sweetie.
The past can haunt you, but it is the past.
Rather look at the future and be happy.
I hate bringing up the past and i expect others around me to forget about anything that happened, no matter how hard it is.
The future looks more promising.
TATA.
@lady_di1210 (263)
• Philippines
29 Dec 10
You're right about the difference between a man and a woman.. However, with regards to bringing up the past, I think it depends on what experience or situation is brought up which came from the past. Bringing up good memories or best times from the past makes keeps a the relationship intact. But when it's brought up in the midst of an argument, that's breaking the relationship of both parties..
@AJsMom (157)
• Philippines
30 Dec 10
Women are just so sensitive humans. I'm not saying that guys are not but they can let go quickly because they were made or born that way. And women were made to be more sensitive. I think God did it that way to make a balance. You see everything has to have a balance. But in time we learn to move on, dwelling on the past wont do much good but learning on the past will make us wiser. If only to reminisce good things about the past that will be a very nice thing to do, but if the purpose was to compare with the present issue, and you think it wont do any good, just let go of it. Anyway what is important is the present, it will be best to keep the good things of the past in your heart and throw away the bad things. We can make life easy, by thinking what will be best for us.
@fixerupper3530 (173)
• United States
29 Dec 10
Forget the past, all we have is this very moment. Don't waist time anaylizing past wrongs. Move forward knowing that this day will be better than yesterday!
