Do you get offended when two people whisper to each other in front of you?

Philippines
January 1, 2011 3:19am CST
Hello everyone! Happy New Year :~) I have a co-worker whose attitude is always like that. Most of the time in front of me, she and my other co-worker would whisper something to each other. Although I'm not the person they're talking about, I just find it very unethical and rude. It just lacks the right manners. I don't know, or maybe it's just me? What do you think? In those cases, what do you do? What if the misbehavior is repeated and she doesn't know that it's unethical at all? and it's already making you irritated? Would you confront the person or simply ignore? Thanks for the answers!
9 people like this
29 responses
@cheravs (620)
• Philippines
1 Jan 11
I hate this attitude and makes me piss very bad! Makes me want to punch them even as a female , but like what you said the ethics must be observed. I also hate about being look at from feet to toe and smiled after..grrrr..super makes you paranoid why they are doing it.. Well, Happy New Year to you cecillecarmela!
3 people like this
• Philippines
1 Jan 11
I also hate that attitude. I've been done like that once and I just ignored it because they're strangers. I don't know their reason for doing so. Perhaps they're insecure, what do you think? What do you normally do in those cases? What do you do if it's repeatedly done? Do you confront the person to tell him or her that it's unethical? Thanks for responding by the way and God bless! Happy New Year!
1 person likes this
@cheravs (620)
• Philippines
1 Jan 11
Oh yea, I give them an ugly stare down! haha! Makes them know I don't like their doing but then I am a coward girl, hates confrontation and stuff, only good at staring.hahahaha...
2 people like this
• Philippines
1 Jan 11
I think cowardice doesn't necessarily mean you have to confront somebody, but I think you just did the right thing. Stare them down also hahaha .
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Jan 11
I was always taught that it is rude to whisper in front of other people. I am guessing that is may be based on the fact that the other people must always assume it's about them! That's how I always feel and have to fight those thoughts off! I don't like it when people are rude like that.
• Philippines
2 Jan 11
Hi! I dont think you still remember me but im glad youre still here in Mylot after a long while ive been gone. :~) So what do you do in those cases? Ive also been taught since young that it is rude. Sometimes id just ignore, but most of the time it is getting into my nerves because they do it most of the time. Sigh. Anyway happy new year!
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Jan 11
Sorry - don't remember you right off the top of my head!! But welcome back anyway! It has probably grown a lot since you were active here huh? I usually ignore the rude people, but I still wonder if it's me they are whispering about!
1 person likes this
@free_man (7337)
• United States
1 Jan 11
Hi Cecillecarmela. Happy New year to you too. For me I find it offensive if people whisper in front of me. But most of the time I just plain ignore them because I know they are rude and can't help it. Seems like people like this like to get things stared and have nothing better to do. It says in Gods word not to gossip. And then sometimes I will look at them in disgust and tell them they are being rude. But if they aren't talking about me and I know who they are talking about I will go tell the person they are talking about too. I don't like rude people. I don't let stupid people irritate me.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
1 Jan 11
What if the person does not know that he or she is being unethical by whispering to another person in front of someone? Would you tell the person or just ignore it? :~)
1 person likes this
@free_man (7337)
• United States
1 Jan 11
Hi Cecillecarmela. No I would tell them so they could know what was going on behind their back. I hate people that talk about others and act like they are better then anyone else. God created all of us and we were all created equal. I don't know if you are friends with the person they are talking about but it would be nice to tell that person. And if I heard someone talking about someone else I would jump in and tell them that God hates gossippers. Not a Christian thing to do talking about others.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
2 Jan 11
I so agree. I wish people would realize that. I think it's human nature to know that it's wrong. Hah I don't know. Some people are just so... ANYWAY, Happy New Year to you, thanks for this response and may you have a prosperous year ahead :~)
1 person likes this
@Qaeyious (2362)
• United States
1 Jan 11
Everyone's relationships are different. What kind of activities are happening when this happens? Is it at lunch? What the two decide to do are their decision, not yours. Is it at business meetings? Every communication I would think should be encouraged. If it is supposed to be a private conversation between two people, what is wrong with that? Do you really share every single little detail in your life with the both of them? How long have you known the two? How long have they known each other? If it distresses you this much, perhaps you need to find another communication soul mate -
1 person likes this
• Philippines
1 Jan 11
Hello! I appreciate this response. And you're right, it's not always right to judge people only through their actions. But don't you think it violates a social etiquette in a certain way? What's your view about that? Thanks for the response and Happy New Year! :~)
@Qaeyious (2362)
• United States
1 Jan 11
Sorry, but no, especially if they have been close friends for longer than your acquaintanceship. You have no right to intrude on their intimacy, in my opinion. Develop a close intimacy with someone else, and I will approve you whispering to that one in front of anyone else you choose. the choice is yours. And their choice is theirs. My opinion, of course.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
1 Jan 11
We have different opinion but I respect yours :~) And it's nice to read something new here. At least I know that might be their only reason and not to insult me or anything negative. Thanks a lot! :~)
1 person likes this
@picjim (3003)
• India
1 Jan 11
I feel it is rude to do that in front of a person.Similarly it is rude to talk in a language not known to the third person in the group.More than being rude one feels left out and irritated.I would ignore such people and avoid such people in future.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
1 Jan 11
Do you have an idea, what could be their reason in doing so?
@picjim (3003)
• India
2 Jan 11
India is a diverse country with many languages.People from a region speak a similar language.When they meet they tend to converse in their mother tongue.If they speak either in Hindi or English people from other regions can also understand what they are saying.But in their eagerness to talk their mother tongue they tend to overlook that there is a person from another region who doesn't comprehend what they are talking hence the problem i raised in my reply.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
2 Jan 11
I see. That is also unethical when the two persons can speak in English anyway. Indeed it is really irritating. Thanks for the response and Happy New Year! :~)
@bjcyrix (6857)
• Philippines
2 Jan 11
It would depend. If I was talking to one of them first and then the other would come in and just whisper something to the person I was talking to and they'd make whispered conversations, then yeah I might be offended. But if the other person would gesture to me that she needs to tell the other person something, I wouldnt mind that and I wouldnt mind waiting actually. If I was close to both of them, Id give hints asking what it was about and to tell me the details also. Another situation would be when I was standing there or something, and then two co-workers just happened to meet up in front of me or near me and whisper something, then I dont mind that. I also have no interest in whatever they were speaking about. It's their business anyway. However, if two co-workers were whispering and they were looking at me while whispering, I would get suspicious and very offended. That would usually mean that they're talking about me or something that is related to me. And that's just plain rude. If that happens, once or twice, I would just ignore it and wait and see if those people would talk to me about it or something. They would eventually stop. If the rude behavior continues, then I just might talk to them about it calmly but my tone would be suggesting that you should fess up before things get ugly.LOL Anyway, try to be positive and give people the benefit of the doubt unless proven guilty. Happy New Year!
• Philippines
2 Jan 11
Give people the benefit of the doubt until proven guilty. Thanks for this one! I will remember that. Thank you and God bless! :~)
@bjcyrix (6857)
• Philippines
2 Jan 11
You are most welcome. God bless you too.^_^
1 person likes this
@LittleMel (14059)
• Canada
2 Jan 11
I used to when I was younger, get angry and all but now I just get even or ignore them some people do that to gain attention if you ignore them and keep your eyes on advancement at work you will someday get to whisper to someone more important than they are
1 person likes this
• Philippines
2 Jan 11
WOW! Just wow. I love this response. It relates so much to my experiences at workplace. Thank you for this one. God bless you!
• Philippines
2 Jan 11
WOW! Just wow. I love this response. It relates so much to my experiences at workplace. Thank you for this one. God bless you!
@thanks1961 (7049)
• India
1 Jan 11
Hi dear, i don't like such things. Everyone has a nature may be it is good or bad. In my position, I won't attend my ear to them even if the subject matter is me. Certain people are like that and we cannot change their attitudes. May be my surroundings are not suitable to their nature or culture. Whatever I feel like say, I will say and it is not fair to have gossips about others, because we all are not fully error free from anything. So, talking about others is due to the 'lack' of something in our culture and nothing else. Thank-s
1 person likes this
• Philippines
1 Jan 11
I so agree! Actually God categorizes gossipers to killers because saying something against others while they are unaware is like literally backstabbing. You kill the person's reputation and it is a mortal sin. Thank you so much for responding and may you have a prosperous New Year! :~)
• India
3 Jan 11
Hi dear, Thanks for your comments. In fact, there are people around. The best way around is just ignore such people and if pay attention to them, we will lose our temper and they will feel comfortable. So better to ignore, that is the easy and preventable reaction for such people. Have a nice day. Thank-s
1 person likes this
@srganesh (6349)
• India
1 Jan 11
It is indeed bad manners to act like that.....having some intimate whispers in front of others. If they have serious things to discuss like that, then they should excuse from others and leave that place to a secluded area and have all the fun. At the same time, this is a cheap trick, some people do to make somebody to feel important in a crowd. I feel pity for the victim.
• Philippines
1 Jan 11
Hi srganesh! Im not sure if you still remember me, but its nice to see former Mylotters here still mylotting for how many months or years already. :~) Anyway, back to the topic. So what do you normally do in those cases? Do you confront the person or just ignore?
1 person likes this
@srganesh (6349)
• India
14 Jan 11
you are my good old mylot friend cecillecarmela! Just I am not here often like before. Back to the discussion, I always ignore them and if they feel too embarassing to continue the whisper, I will just leave that place to make them comfortable. That is good manners on my side.
@jordq7 (576)
• Philippines
2 Jan 11
Hi there cecillecarmela!!! If someone is to do that thing in front of me I guess I will also be irritated especially when they are talking about me or even not me.I am a very sensitive person and I easily get irritated.But most of the time I keep it to myself to avoid being in trouble. I guess if I were in a situation where two people keep on whispering to each other in front of me,I will be annoyed but I will not talk to them or confront them coz it may cause some commotion and I don't want everybody to be looking at me especially when we are in the office. If you can still do it then try to be more patient.It is better to be like this than to pick a fight to some unethical co-workers.Besides patience is a virtue...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
2 Jan 11
I appreciate this response honestly. In other words, be professional and dont stoop down to their level. It just saddens me that we are teachers and to think that they are, still they do not know the basics. Thanks again and God bless!
@meuji100 (198)
• Philippines
2 Jan 11
I get annoyed when two people whisper in front of me especially when they are looking at me. I want to reprimand them for doing this, but I just let it be. I also think that whispering in front of a person is unethical and lacks manners. If the person would repeatedly do that, I would just ignore it. It's because maybe I am not the one they're talking about.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
2 Jan 11
But does it also make you feel that you're not capable of being trusted?
@halynn (1809)
• United States
2 Jan 11
For the most part it doesn't really bother me. If they're whispering and like maybe snickering and looking at me then i might get a little offended curious as to what they're talking about. Otherwise i just let it roll off my shoulder. Simple fact is a lot of our general population (which we unfortunately have to spend a significant part of our days with) (like @ our job)act a lot like 7th graders. Which is definitely annoying. I agree with you about it being unethical for sure!!
• Philippines
2 Jan 11
Maybe its a totally different setting for me because it's my first job. Maybe i am still adapting to a different kind of environment where gossips are pretty normal. I guess you're right, the best thing to do is to just ignore it and i do hope soon i'll get used to it. Really thanks for the response and Happy New Year! :~)
@daliaj (5689)
• India
2 Jan 11
I can take it to an extent, but I can't take it for a long time. I know that it is none of my business to know others secret or others personal matters and they have all rights to keep their thoughts as secrets or share to whomever they want. I also know that since they whisper in front of me it doesn't mean that they are not talking bad things about me. I just don't like and I won't do that to anyone.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
2 Jan 11
Same here. Once or twice i guess is okay, but she is doing it almost everyday and its already irritating me. There was even one point wherein she whispered something to my co-workers except me. Really irritating.
@checapricorn (16072)
• United States
2 Jan 11
I do honestly. I experienced this everyday with my co-worker too. She is so rude and almost everyone at work knows about it. A lot of time I will ignore her but there are instances that I called her attention and tell her that it is not good. She will just laugh and do it again. It is really her nature!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
2 Jan 11
I think those kind of people should be understood or tolerated. Im new to the workplace, its my 1st job thats why i cant adapt to the everyday gossips whch according to others is normal. Hah its hard to trust just anyone nowadays.
@singup (666)
• Malaysia
2 Jan 11
The Messenger of Allah peace be upon him said 'If you three do not two of them talk without the third' this speech from prophet mohmmed to all muslim solve this kind of problem by given direction for people who to act if they are three people in one place there are alot of ethical principle for both side in this speech i let you read it more and search if you want to learn more.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
2 Jan 11
This is interesting. I didn't know there is a Biblical message to this situation. :~)
1 person likes this
@megamatt (14333)
• United States
1 Jan 11
It is really irritating to an extent but I really do just get on with my day I think. Still a part of me and I am kind of ashamed to admit this is curious. I wonder what they are talking about. I wonder if I have something to do about it. I wonder why they cannot say it to my face. There are just all of those things that I wonder about and it really does cause me to be distracted from what I need to do. So it does frustrate me to an extent when people whisper around me.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
2 Jan 11
Another thing, the victim may feel he or she's not trusted. That I guess is the worst feeling.
@zandi458 (27954)
• Malaysia
1 Jan 11
It is rude to whisper in front of someone. I will definitely be offended if it happens to me even if it doesn't concerns me.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
2 Jan 11
Would you confront the person?
@mods196621 (3631)
• Philippines
1 Jan 11
Not good anyway as a professional and speaking of etiquette that is not good to see. Even they are not talking about you. I hate also to see people whispering in front of me I feel bad. Why they are not get out out of site and go to safer place to talk about some important matters that no one will hear. So better to go to far places and not whisper on front of people. Good manners and right conduct.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
2 Jan 11
As simply as good manners and right conduct indeed. Thanks for the response and God bless you! :~) Happy New Year!
@magenn (78)
1 Jan 11
Just ignore it. Just try to do something that makes them realize that whispering to somebody infront of you is unethical.
• Philippines
2 Jan 11
Like what?
@eurekafemme (5881)
• Philippines
1 Jan 11
Hello, Cecillecarmela. If I happened to know these two people , yes, I'll be offended or be annoyed by what they are doing. Not that I am so paranoid thinking that I am the one who is their subject but because of the mere fact that they are seemed to be talking something that shouldn't be heard y someone else, so they'd better go somewhere where there'll be no one to witness what they are doing. There's a subtle way of dealing with those people. My Aunt would often say 'Hey, it isn't holyweek yet." meaning, Judas acting like a traitor to Jesus.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
1 Jan 11
HAHAHAHA nice! Thanks for that and might use it next time. :~) Happy New Year by the way and thanks for responding.