If that was my child...

January 1, 2011 1:40pm CST
I have this thought all the time when I see children misbehaving in front of their parents, and the parents not doing anything. Like certain children I see when I take my daughter to school, who run across the field and push over any smaller child in their path. Or the woman I used to know who had two young sons who would throw things at passers-by, while she stood there chatting on her phone and ignoring them. (I actually ended up disciplining them myself, and she didn't say a word.) I saw an example of it yesterday when I was in the supermarket with my children and thought it was utterly disgusting. A girl of about 13 or 14 years old was walking around the supermarket with her parents, and spat on the floor right in front of them. They completely ignored it. I looked at her in disbelief, and the brat tried to stare me out! Maybe this type of "parenting" is why so many young adults are rude and grow up to commit antisocial crimes? If I had ever behaved like that, my mother would have taken me out of the store and kicked my butt, and rightly so!
2 people like this
16 responses
@katsmeow1213 (29044)
• United States
2 Jan 11
I agree, I see it all the time, and it's always the parents' fault. They're too busy or too uninvolved or too lazy to do anything to discipline their children. Many parents say they're too afraid to discipline their children because of the child abuse laws these days.. but you know it doesn't take a swat on the butt every time! I have 5 children and I'm constantly complimented on their behavior in public. People will come up to me in restaurants while we're eating "Sorry to bother you, but I really had to compliment you on how your children are behaving." Everywhere I go! Even friends who bump into me out in public "How do you get your kids to be so good in the store?". I'm a bit strict with my kids. While we're in a store I try to keep them in line.. I mean literally, they have to walk in a line.. that way they're not in anyone's way.. they're all directly behind me. If they get out of line I just have to say the word "line" and they're back where they're supposed to be. They do not misbehave in the store because they know there will be concequences. They misbehave a bit when we're home.. they get loud and rowdy, what kid doesn't? They do other minor things to get in trouble from time to time.. again, what kid doesn't? They aren't perfect angels! But when they do misbehave there are concequences. We yell, we have many different forms of punishments, and we will spank if we have to but that is usually a last resort. Once or twice I have told my children "Don't think I won't spank you right here in the middle of the store if you don't behave!" I've never had to.. but they know I will if I really did need to.
1 person likes this
@CTHanum (8254)
• Malaysia
2 Jan 11
yeah even if i don't have kids but i am a strict aunt.and i am doing the same way like you to them.that does not mean they can't play around but i just hope they can behave themselves properly even if their mother say it is fine to her but no for me and others that is for sure.
1 person likes this
3 Jan 11
My children misbehave a lot at home, but I'm not so strict at home. In public, God help the child who shows me up! All it usually takes is The Look (which I learned from my mother!) and a quiet threat. We also have a drill when they aren't listening to me; I turn everyone to face me, and ask "who's the boss?" and they tell me "you are, Mummy!" then I make them stand and look at me while I tell them what they're not to do, and why.
@CTHanum (8254)
• Malaysia
2 Jan 11
hi marianne! these have become a common scene and i do feel uneasy with this attitudes.we always said that children are learning things from their parents as they are their closed role model.if the children behaved like that and the parents say nothing about it, most probably because they are doing that too,if they think that was not a fault then that is why they ignore things their children did.i have a few nephews and nieces i am a strict aunt.if they ever try to do like you said above i will make sure they get something from me (at least a frim clear advice) even if their mother say it is okay (like i said), for me things that is not okay will always be no~
1 person likes this
@lingli_78 (12844)
• Australia
2 Jan 11
i had seen this a lot as well and i know what you mean... many times i am tempted to discipline other people's children that are misbehaving in public places as well... but i just don't have the courage to do it because i am afraid that the parents will throw a fit at me... so at the end i just stare at the children and give them a signal that i am very unhappy and mad at their behaviours... take care and have a nice day...
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Jan 11
I often have that thought myself, I teach. But I also turn it around too: If they were my parents... Over the years I have been very observant when it comes to the way children act and in turn how their parents respond and I must say that there are a ton of people under 30 who have forgotten everything their parents taught them because they sure arent passing it on to their children. I am now teaching at a grade level where the parents are about my age and most of them are afraid to upset their kids by telling them no.
1 Jan 11
I'm 23 and a mum of 3, and there is no way I'd let mine behave that way. My parents taught me well, and I admit I am not doing anywhere near as good a job as they did, but I do try, and that's not the sort of thing you can ignore!
@CTHanum (8254)
• Malaysia
2 Jan 11
yeah that is right. parents are too afraid to disappoint their child but they must remember reminding them the right things will make them become a good person in the future.most of parents nowadays are too soft till they forgot the values and children are not the same person and personality as individual.perhaps one of them is a good kid while others are not.but if the parents do not what's that good behaviour means that is a really big problem which they should learn long before they ever had decide to have a family.
@pastigger (618)
• United States
5 Jan 11
I think it all stated a while back when it was decided that spanking would scar you for life. I do not believe this. I have one three year old and if she did that she would be in big trouble. I do have a home daycare and it is frustrating all I can do is send the kids to time out and it doesn't always work. My daughter knows that she will get a spanking. After the spanking stop no other discipline was taken up. Time outs may work for some children but not mine. I can not believe how some peoples children act. They seem to forget that they are the parent and they are in charge and children will not be scared for life from being spanked or being told no. I was in the store with my daughter one day and we were in the toy department looking at toys and then it was time to go. I told her ok put it back time to go. The other woman in the isle actually braced expecting her to start throwing a tantrum, but my daughter says ok puts the toy back where it goes and we leave. I think the woman's mouth fell slightly open. Children will do what they can get away with. If you teach them that if they throw a fit you will get them something that is what they will do because they know it works. I remember one time I was going to get my daughter something and she decided to throw a fit about something so we put it back. I have had parent ask me how do I get my daughter to do things and I tell them I tell her to do them. I actually had one mom ask well what do you give her for listening. I said sometimes a hug or I tell her good job. She responded oh I have to bribe mine. No you have taught this to your daughter. I don't know when NO became such a bad thing and when children became in charge. I just don't understand it. I think a lot of people thought that my daughter would be spoiled because she was a preemie (11 weeks early) but I never saw that as an excuse for her to not have to do things. That is the other thing children have to do nothing for themselves these days either. My neighbors have twin boys that are 12 and my daughter at 3 does more things to help out around the house than they do. She cleans her room and feeds the dogs helps me pick up the livingroom and puts her cup in the sink at the end of the day. She also put her clothes in her laundry basket, she has done that since she was big enough to walk. I hope more parents start to understand that you must discipline their children and tell them NO and help them to become better adults.
5 Jan 11
I give permission to anyone who takes care of my children (grandparents, Godparents, preschool etc) to discipline my children in whatever way they feel is necessary in my absence. Being smacked never did me any harm, I knew I was in the wrong and would be repentant. Although if my mother lost her temper and smacked either of us when we felt it was undeserved, my sister and I would back each other up and tell her! My eldest is 5 and fairly well behaved most of the time, but my 3 year old is lazy and rebellious. That's ok, my daughter gets rewards and he is left out!
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
6 Jan 11
While I do realize that all parents have their own ways of parenting their children, I also think that there are certain things that should never be allowed. I think that disrespecting the parents is one of those things. In addition to that, I also think that disgusting and unsanitary things should not be tolerated. I remember when myself and my siblings were growing up that spitting was a thing that was not permitted and there were even times that my mother would get mad at my brother for doing it during his baseball games.
@buggles64 (2715)
• United States
3 Jan 11
I am curious to know, what did you do to discipline her children?
• China
2 Jan 11
If that was my child,I will kick her butt and give her the stick.I do not believe that she is afraid of me.One word,she need stick.
• China
2 Jan 11
If that was my child,I will kick her butt and give her the stick.I do not believe that she is afraid of me.One word,she need stick.
@yoyo1198 (3643)
• United States
2 Jan 11
Kids are having kids these days. And there are so many young adults who grew up with no discipline so they never learned how to discipline their children. I've seen unacceptable behavior in both children and adults increasing over the years. The moral fiber of our nation has eroded substantially. When children see adults screaming at each other and even bodily assaulting one another on television and in the news, what are they to think? That this is the way adults are supposed to deal with their differences. I despair for these future and for the future of the world anymore.
@ebuscat (5949)
• Philippines
2 Jan 11
For me I made many stroke to come up my child to become good person I would train in the bible and since the bible is the word of Good nothing's impossible of it to make change in the life of my child.
@FrugalMommy (1447)
• United States
2 Jan 11
I saw similar behavior all the time at my last job. There was one incident that really stands out from the rest. A teenage boy came running up the main aisle of my department, then SCREAMED across the store at the top of his lungs. I asked him to keep his voice down, since other customers were obviously disturbed. A few minutes later, his mother came over and reamed me up and down for trying to interfere with her parenting. She apparently needed to have him screaming across the store so she'd be able to find him. It's too bad the kids are the ones who have to pay for their parents' shortcomings when it comes to teaching manners.
• Philippines
2 Jan 11
I cannot close my eyes to what I similarly experience seeing around me. A girl who was my neighbor behaves sweetly and respectfully towards me but when she is in front of her parents its a different story. Knowing the real reason for this odd behavior I started to observe the reason. Talking with her mother I finally get the real story behind that. She loose her respect towards her parents when they frequently quarrel in front of them( the children) over some marital issues. As time went on the girl later realized(thankfully) that parents are not perfect creatures and she has to give them respect despite the circumstance. If these happens well and good but for parents who never get the respect they deserved its a sad event.
@meerat75 (111)
2 Jan 11
Many modern parents are absolutely careless about their children. In fact they don't know how to brought up their children in what way. No body to a proper training from any where and that is the reason behind it. As this fctor is a default set up for parents, they think the way what they are doing is the correct. As you said, we can see so many incidentes here and there and sometime feel so angry on their behaviour. In fact if children are misbehaving such practices are due to the ingnorance by the parents only. They should be resonsible and as wnd when children grows they need to guide them properly so as to they will understand what is waht. Meera
@Graceekwenx (3163)
• Philippines
2 Jan 11
You are right Marianne. I think the reason why some children grow rude is because of the parents ignoring their attitudes or simply because of the absence of parents. I wish i could discipline a kid even if she werent mine. It happened in our home when an elderly sister disciplined the kids of our other sister in front of them. The father took it negatively for disciplining their own kids because my elder sister made them feel that they are not doing anything; when, actually, they really arent. In fact, they really argued. To be honest, their kids are growing rude and disrespectful. I am scared of what they might turn out to be.
@louievill (19933)
• Philippines
1 Jan 11
I hate this things too, just the other day, I saw a woman asking for Christmas alms walking on the street with a child, she was walking on the sidewalk while the child was on the dangerous side,almost on the street,called her attention and taught her the proper way. Another one I saw was letting a little girl hold on to her instead of her carrying or holding on to her daughter while crossing the street, I waited for her to get to the other side and called her attention but she just looked at me blankly as if she did not understand what I was trying to teach her her