Family issues...

@PDBME2 (1023)
United States
January 1, 2011 11:10pm CST
On my daughter's birthday we had so much drama from my stepdaughter that it really got me upset. We haven't heard from her in a long time but someone from her family sent me a private message on MySpace. I told my husband what they message read but that led to days of drama from then on. My stepdaughter eventually called on my daughter's birthday to tell her dad what was really going on. My husband took around an hour or more to talk to her while we had the party. At the end she had told my husband that she would come over on Christmas Eve to see us. I was kind of upset because she has ignored my husband for months, she calls to make up stories about what is happening in her life, and at the end it affects us as a family. Well Christmas Eve came around and she sent me a message via Facebook to tell us she wouldn't be here on Christmas Eve but Christmas Day. I had planned to leave the house during her visit because I told my husband I just didn't want to be around her. I finally told myself to be supportive but after making her favorite dish, then having her not show up just confirmed that I really don't want to be a part of the whole issue. She sent me a message yesterday to wish us a Happy New Year but never explained why she didn't show up. I wrote her back saying I hope her day would be good as well. Am I wrong to just not see her, regardless what story she says is happening? To get an idea she told my husband once she was pregnant, then lost the baby, then anemic, then she had uterine cancer, then she got pregnant shortly after, when all this time she looks better than I do. Her brother told me she has mental issues and I really believe she does because if you tell someone you have cancer that is wanting sympathy and playing with people's emotions.
1 person likes this
3 responses
• Philippines
3 Jan 11
I am very sorry to learn this kind of drama to your family. Just try not to be affected, dear. It is normal for your stepdaughter to be an attention-grabber because I think she doesn't have the guidance of a loving family or she refuse it. If ever she has mental issues, someone must encourage her to see an specialist. I'll pray for your husband too, for him to be enlightened about what your stepdaughter are doing or pretending.
1 person likes this
@PDBME2 (1023)
• United States
3 Jan 11
Well the good thing is that my stepson confirmed my suspicions about what is really going on. I know she has no one, not even her own mom because she has her own mental issues going on.
@cutepenguin (6458)
• Canada
3 Jan 11
Wow, she really is trying hard for attention. This sounds like an unfortunate situation for everyone, as your husband is probably trying to be a good father to her, and that is hard for you especially with her timing. Can your husband try to take control of the situation? Like, instead of just waiting for her to contact you, he contacts her and invites her to come over or to go out at a time which is convenient for your family? That way, she gets attention, but in a way that works for you, not just when she decides.
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@PDBME2 (1023)
• United States
3 Jan 11
Well my husband refuses to listen because he gets upset if I tell him the truth to the whole situation. I tell him she wants attention but he says it's not true. Why else would someone make up so many stories about herself? It's hard to give advice or watch the whole thing because we have our own problems with our own kids.
@skysuccess (8882)
• Singapore
3 Jan 11
PDBME2, Stop beating yourself up for having unpleasant feelings. If your description is accurate, your husband has allowed his daughter to "clique" you out. While it's understandable that because of their separation his daughter could be fixated on him and vice versa. However, I hope that your husband would let her know that both of you will love her if she'll give you the chance. I hope that he will remember that while it is inevitable that he has a daughter, that he has a wife as well. As for you, I think you should try to look at it from her perspective. If she's a young woman, she is dealing with a lot of emotions right now. Try to be patient, treat her warmly when you see her, and give her a chance to get to know you. Good relationships aren't hatched fully formed; they take time to build. Hope the both of you will get along well in due time. Take care and have a nice day.
@PDBME2 (1023)
• United States
3 Jan 11
Oh Skysuccess I have tried to build a relationship with her but she just is hard to handle. My stepson has lived with us so he called me mom when he introduced me to his friends. I even got a hug from him this last time he visited us so it made me feel that I have done something right. When it comes to his daughter it's a different story. I realize he has a preferance for his daughter but it really comes into our lives. I have things going on with our own kids which are small and need him to be a father. I can't really bond with her because she makes it difficult as well as her dad. I am hoping that with time they both realize that I love them both but with love comes communicating. I gave up on beating myself for the whole thing, I can only try to support him in having to deal with his daughter who definately has issues. I can realize it all came from the divorce she went through with her own parents. I have my moments but I'm learning to try to deal with this whole drama. I don't know if she really is pregnant and if she is I can imagine the drama that will occur after the birth of the baby.