why people become unfriendly

China
January 6, 2011 1:10am CST
After work adjusted, the relationship between my two colleagus and i became unfriendly, we have no quarrel, no conflict of interest,just have different works. After that day, they never call me to have lunch together, go to shopping, and shape the news about us. I can't understand why it happened so fast, because we are friends several days ago, things change so fast,so do mind. Maybe there are no friendship between colleagues, only exist benefit. I feeling sadness when i realized this, who can tell me how to deal with the relationship with the colleagues?
2 people like this
18 responses
@LittleMel (14055)
• Canada
10 Jan 11
personally, friendship is like love to me both require trust and time I actually found true love before true friendship but at least I found both LOL the way I see it, it's good that you now know how fast they switch I'd rather know it sooner than later imagine if you stay friends and you start trusting them with things you don't tell anyone else? if it happens and they turn on you, you'll lose more than a job move on with your life, get the job done and achieve higher you'll find a new friend along the way
• United States
9 Jan 11
If you felt you were wrong when you had words apologize. If you don't feel you did anything wrong then don't. Be cordial when you are in their presence and go on with life. It is their lost if they are willing to cease being friendly and they are not willing to clear the air.
@aerous (13474)
• Philippines
8 Jan 11
Well, your not avoiding that happen in a company, my friend. That is what they called envy. I think you should not being affected in that situation in your office...That's really a reality in one place of work
@mythociate (15365)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
8 Jan 11
If you were once an airline-pilot, but you grew gills and met- and married a mermaid, you wouldn't hang out with your stewardess-seeking airline buddies as much. Just the way the world flows.
7 Jan 11
im sorry i cant answer this
@ifa225 (11099)
• Indonesia
7 Jan 11
maybe they just have different interest now. so sharing with you may be won't solve their problem. and they are too busy to make friend in different department. just try to ask them first, who knows that they are expecting for your invitation
@lingli_78 (12845)
• Australia
7 Jan 11
have you try to talk with your colleagues??? honesty and open communications are essential in any relationship and rather than wondering about the reason why, why not you talk with your colleagues and find out the reasons??? you might be able to sort things out and salvage your friendship... good luck... take care and have a nice day...
@calpro (933)
• India
7 Jan 11
Hi hfromf, If some of your friends are no turning up to you or hiding their faces form you means they are unhappy with you. My suggestion to you is first evaluate yourself before speaking to them. Just evaluate yourself honestly about your attitude and spending habits, If you are generous to pay for others while on lunch etc people will not hide your face(this is just an example doesn't mean you are stingy.) If you find no mistake from your end then go and speak to them ask them what could be the reason for them to ignore you, tell them if they open up you could correct yourself. I am sure they would tell you or they would be normal with you. If at all they still are not normal, simply forget them. You can't always keep running behind them and world i big enough to have friends. Good Luck Happy Living Calpro
@SIMPLYD (79727)
• Philippines
7 Jan 11
You don't have to long for friendship on your colleagues from work. You could be a friend to a coworker of the same department because you always go together during breaks and lunchtime because it's convenient to both of you. However, when your colleague is in a different department then don't expect her to be always hanging with you if their department is so much farther from yours.
@katie0 (5212)
• Japan
6 Jan 11
well, maybe there's a proof there wasn't a real relationship i think it has to come from both parts, like you to call and the other one too, when someone is missing to do stuff like calling and asking you out then you should have a better friend
@eurekafemme (5881)
• Philippines
6 Jan 11
Hi, Hfromf.:) I used to work in a large corporation but I never experienced what you had with your colleagues. I never lost a friend even if I was posted in a different department.I even gained friendship form all departments the longer I stay with the company.I'm not bragging but maybe because I have that kind of kindness in me, as to put one's colleague words when she described me being her friend. How to deal with your colleague? You might be right, there was no genuine friendship but rather benefits from your so called friends. What you can do is to stay friendly with them. As long as they are not doing anything harmful on your part, then, be their friends still. As in do not ignore them when you see them. Try to still talk to themif you bump at each other in the pantry. Make them feel that they are still welcome as friends eve if you don't belong to the same department anymore. Goodluck and cheer up, dear.
@krajibg (11940)
• Guwahati, India
6 Jan 11
Hi, Relations are as unpredictable as rain during summer. The two other people who used to be your friend are behaving in a different manner and you find it strange. You are right. Any body in your place would be taken aback as to what went past among you that there is fissure in your relation. What according to me would be better is that ask them face to face what was the issue that they have stopped talking to you. Surely they would say something and if you feel it was your fault without your knowledge ry to amend it. Or if there was nothing from you try to avoid them for they would never make good friends to you.
• Philippines
6 Jan 11
i think that the reason that they have become unfriendly or they don't call you out is because maybe they feel maybe threatened or insecure about you or maybe there is conflict that happend that you didn't know.. i suggest that you also ignore these type of people if they don't want to be your friend then let them be.. just concentrate with your work and let them be.. im sure there a lot of people who are more than willing to be your friend
• Philippines
6 Jan 11
Good Day! Well, if there are friendly people, of course there are also who are not but even if they aren't nice we must be nice to them and we must try to show that we still care for them. Maybe they're just shy or they just look like they're not friendly because of their physical appearance. Try to approach them. Maybe they're also waiting for you to talk to them. like me, my classmates before don't talk to me because I look unfriendly so they let me be the first to talk to them. If wouldn't do the first move I wouldn't make lots of friends.
@jennbart (1333)
• Philippines
6 Jan 11
maybe, there really are no friendship at all. If there is, no matter how busy people are they will make time to be with you. I have friends who works at a bank, at a call center, family business and at a hospital and we see each other every weekends to think we all live very far away from each other. Far as in North to South! so, if we can manage to see each other why can they with you? Just forget them and move on.. and you will just meet someone like you who value friendships.
@AJsMom (157)
• Philippines
6 Jan 11
Friends, no matter how busy they are, will always find sometime to connect with each other. No distance can keep them apart. Allow enough time to develop a strong friendship. Perhaps your friendship is too young. True friendship is based on solid foundation that no matter what they do, no matter where they are, the relationship still stands.
• Philippines
6 Jan 11
Maybe there really aren't any friendship between colleages but maybe you're just hanging on to the wrong people. There are people who value friendship and clearly your previous colleages aren't those people. Sometimes you have to roam around to find the right friends. You don't cling to others to make them your friends or, worse (and i'm not implying you are..), forcing other people to be your friends. You find friends when they find you. Just go with the flow.
• Philippines
6 Jan 11
Maybe there really aren't any friendship between colleages but maybe you're just hanging on to the wrong people. There are people who value friendship and clearly your previous colleages aren't those people. Sometimes you have to roam around to find the right friends. You don't cling to others to make them your friends or, worse (and i'm not implying you are..), forcing other people to be your friends. You find friends when they find you. Just go with the flow.