How do I cope with failure?

@gengeni (3308)
Indonesia
January 6, 2011 2:14am CST
I've lost confidence, was desperate to keep trying ..? I've failed 2 times, I am disappointed, very, very disappointed. Sense of self useless. My emotions interfere, I am ashamed to deal with other people.
5 people like this
14 responses
@rifnee (1713)
• Indonesia
8 Jan 11
failure is our first step to go forward and become rigid personal reply. if we want success , do not fear failure. there is no happiness without tears because no one can promise the sky is always sunny with no clouds.
1 person likes this
@gengeni (3308)
• Indonesia
12 Jan 11
Happiness without tears is compassion, I understand your point, honestly, you give a new color in my thinking on this issue.
@rifnee (1713)
• Indonesia
15 Jan 11
I think so, try to get out of this problem immediately, find the true meaning of your life. Analyze every failure you've experienced.
@Jlyn10 (10900)
• Malaysia
12 Jan 11
Everyone will face this kind of situation in their life time. It happened to me many times. But to me, it's not the end of the world. I always pick myself up and said it's okay and just move on with my life.
1 person likes this
@gengeni (3308)
• Indonesia
12 Jan 11
Hi, perhaps mentally from each person is different, and you are a strong person, and I am a weak person who always require a long time to heal wounds in the mind and soul.
@asliah (11148)
• Philippines
7 Jan 11
hi, actually i experienced that failure this week, when i applied as data encoder at agency, i didn't feel any disappointed with myself when i was not hired due to my gender i think. coz i know that there's more good company and position will come to me, just accept it and dont stop trying it again.
1 person likes this
@gengeni (3308)
• Indonesia
12 Jan 11
yea, you're right, I should try again, now I just need someone to encourage and give new spirit to me.
• India
7 Jan 11
In what you failed, is it love affair? I just guess, you should not get so much depressed, you need to wait for your soulmate, you will meet him one day, my faith says this.. Thank you so much for sharing your feelings. Professor ‘Bhuwan’. . HAPPY NEW YEAR
1 person likes this
@gengeni (3308)
• Indonesia
12 Jan 11
If you say I was desperate for love, it's been a long time ago, I had several times experienced a failure in love. This time I'm really in big trouble, and the closest I have started a business, I have failed 2 times, for what? due to fatal error and not a crazy idea that I might mention here, I have to make other people in trouble, I'm guilty, I am ashamed of them. O God, please give me the opportunity several times to evaluate everything, I want to succeed with them. These failures have shown my ignorance to others around me. stressful, really stressful.
@AJsMom (157)
• Philippines
6 Jan 11
You will never learn to overcome failure unless you have one. Failing allows us to be strong, for how would we know what it is to fight when we have nothing to fight for? Sure you'll feel desperate, it is during desperation that we evaluate the situation, how to deal with it. For one to succeed, one must fail. And when you overcome desperation, that's when you develop confidence and start to feel your self worth. Learn to accept that we have to go through emotional journeys. And as we travel on, we learn to cope. Struggle my friend until you learn the art of letting go of the pains, the hurt, the embarrassment. Keep in mind that we all go through it and that, it is our duty to ourselves to strengthen the mind, the heart, and the soul.
1 person likes this
@gengeni (3308)
• Indonesia
12 Jan 11
It may be true, I have to rest for some time and evaluate the failure, try and keep trying, yea I have to do it if I was ready. I have to succeed with my plans.
@jricky1 (6808)
• China
6 Jan 11
NO, you shouldn't do that! Lots of bad things happen in our life. So we should cheer up and then deal with the difficulties. You should remember that you have friends back there supporting you! If you lost confidence in yourself, then who should you trust? And how could you move on in the coming years in your life. The movie once said: Life is like a box of chocolate, you never know what it would be like next. So ,be confidence in you ,you are always the best, my friend!
1 person likes this
@gengeni (3308)
• Indonesia
12 Jan 11
Aaaagh, friends, friends ... yea, I forgot them, I do not know what to say to them, I'm ashamed to say. I must be brave, I tried several times to want to tell you the truth to my friend, I'm afraid this will make it difficult for them.
@mariaperalta (19094)
• Mexico
3 Dec 12
we all have failures.. I cope by getting back up and getting on with my life.
@whatrow (793)
• United States
15 Aug 11
I have failed in virtually everything I have ever tried to do. But recently, I was struggling to perform a simple task, which many other people have know problem with. Through persistance and intense visualization, I finally succeeded in getting the job done. I was so excited, I shouted, "Victory is mine!" That is when I learned that one small victory has the power to erase a livetime of failures.
@nakula2009 (2325)
• Indonesia
16 Feb 11
Failed again - failed again, tired, hopeless, what's wrong than I really always fail? Though already correcting itself from the failure of yesterday, still fails too ?.......... why this question is also often to mind every morning when I failed yesterday. Apparently correcting and learning from its own failure / yesterday was not enough to make us avoid a failure today. So what do I do in order not to fail again? Take the new orientation, learning from others, ask for guidance from people who were "more" successfully than we do, remove all the negative view, doing my best today, and hopefully last prayers today do not make the same mistake as yesterday, hopefully what I did today useful and successful for me, others and the environment. The point of failure common, most importantly the rise of the failure, and not give in to continue working .... live how? ....... need not be difficult if we do not know how (rather than a headache itself), ask for help only to others .... Oh yes, if you fear failure, mending need not live tomorrow:) hehehehe ..... Failure or success tomorrow is only God who knows .... we can only plan, seek and pray for the best.
• Philippines
15 Feb 11
if you are like everybody else, the moment you face any failure or obstacles in your life, you will tell yourself two things. The first thing is that you will tell yourself it is too difficult and it is impossible for you to achieve it. The second thing is that you will tell yourself you are just not hard working enough and you need to work harder the next time. Are these two the best solution to cope with failure? Which one do you think is the best solution? Both are not the best solution. These are not the things you should do the moment you fail in to achieve what you want. Many people thought that if they have the determination and commitment, they can handle failure easily and they will eventually succeed in the end. True, but for me, success is about hard work plus smart work. If you are just depending on hard work alone, you are going to waste a lot of energy and time into coping with failures in your life. If you are someone who is committed to success, when you face any obstacles in your way, you will try harder to cope with it. However, this is not the smart way. That is why most people fail to achieve what they want in their life, because they are not doing it the smart way. The smart way is this, the moment you face any failure or obstacles in your way, you should change your strategies first, and then only take the necessary action. Let's say your goal is to make a lot of money from your fruit-selling business. But all you have is just a fruit stall, so how can you make a lot of money out from it? If you are just like everybody else, you will work harder and put in more time into your business. And if you cannot make a lot of money out of it, maybe you will give up or you will try harder again, with the same strategies. Guess what, with the same strategies, you will get back the same old results. This is what many people will do, they never actually realize that they are doing the same thing over and over again, but hope to see different results. Well, maybe you can succeed this way, but I can assure you, you have to put in a lot of time and effort to make it happen. Therefore, do things differently and get results you want. Now, take back the fruit business example, so with different strategies, how can you make a lot of money from it? For instance, you can greatly invest in expanding your market; invest in research and development, create a super fruit brand of your own, widen your fruit range and look for more suppliers then franchise your business. Can you see it now? With different approach, you definitely will get different results. If you stick with the same strategies, you will get back the same results, which is the one that you don't want. As you can see now, the moment you face any obstacles or failures in your life, the first thing you need to do is to run a post-mortem to your strategies. Ask yourself why your strategies don't work and how can you improve them to achieve what you want in your life. This is the smart way of achieving success in your life. So if you are doing things the old way and you are not seeing the results you want, then it is time for you to change your strategies. Only by changing your strategies, you will get different results. I'm not saying that you will succeed once you changed your strategies, but by doing so, you will move yourself toward the right direction. And this is what success all about, finding the right path to avoid failure.
@hushi22 (4940)
15 Jan 11
i dont know why you feel like this. i mean what kind of failure you have, but i hope you will get over it soon.
@KrauseHome (35320)
• United States
15 Jan 11
Personally I think we have all been there at one time or another. We even might start feeling defeated like there is no use. What we need to remember is most of the time we tried, and usually gave it our Best, and what we need to do is learn from these experiences and move on, and keep trying. When we choose to give up that only makes things worse to where we never want to move on from there. So all I can say and do is Encourage you to move on, and if you are Prayer believing person, Pray about it and let god direct you in what you need to do from here.
@murtuza52 (138)
• India
13 Jan 11
Hey gengeni,we learn from our failures.Donot let the apparent failures beat you up. Learn from them.We always try to be harder on ourselves. A small child learning to walk,never fails to get up and try and try until sucess is achieved. It is the same in life,every failure is a step closer to sucess.
• Indonesia
13 Jan 11
instead of failure you may experience and know the problems that would be an all in front if the same problem & how to overcome them