Wrong husband, big mistake...

@buggles64 (2715)
United States
January 7, 2011 1:48pm CST
A boy and girl get married. The husband thinks his wife is cheating and is drawn to another past love, and a child is created. The wife, of the man that cheated loves another man that is not her husband. The wife s upset with the husband for cheating, yet she fails to realize that she too cheated with her heart, because she loves another man and not her husband. Thoughts? Is it a coincidence that we can see faults in others, yet refuse to see the faults that lie within us?
5 people like this
15 responses
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
8 Jan 11
I think it is almost instinct for people to point the finger at someone else. People often feel the need to make excuses for their actions and defend them even though they are at guilt. I think there are many scenarios that are described by your discussion. Some extreme and some not so but nonetheless...happens often. I think that it boils down to having to decide what we expect and what our standerds are. The thing is that if your chosen does not hold the same standerds..it can be trouble. I would feel betrayed by lacking the heart and thoughts of my lover but some people might just feel betrayed by a physical act.
1 person likes this
@buggles64 (2715)
• United States
8 Jan 11
It's true, usually when people have an untrue heat, it is not discussed but the physical act is. Maybe that is the difference. Thanks for taking the time to respond.
@visavis (5945)
• Philippines
8 Jan 11
Hello friend little confuse about your description so based on your discussion title we cannot blame all failure of marriage to husband. Ok sometimes husband has own bad action but not at all, means not all man have the same character of cheating. There are many outthere that great husband and responsible man. Those few are very isolated and sometimes both man and woman also the same... see you around
• Philippines
17 Jan 11
Well i think they dont know each other that well when they got married. Maybe dated for a few months or so but yet thats only the guess. The best and only solution to this would be a divorce since there is no point in holding to each other when they no longer love each other and care for someone else. Specially the husband since he now have a child. They should get a divorce and marry those they really love. I think that would be fair since both of them found their own.
@buggles64 (2715)
• United States
17 Jan 11
Yes, I would agree with you.
@donharis (305)
• Pakistan
14 Jan 11
Well Mostly Girls do the same thing, they love som1 else and marry those on whom she can depend, so it clear that womens are all cheaters, when they love they never think of monetary benefits, but when they r going to marry, they compare their love with someone else who has monetary power
@buggles64 (2715)
• United States
14 Jan 11
It is not an issue of who cheats more, it is an issue...of someone loving someone else, yet marries the wrong person. We have already established that we are all sinners, it's just in this case the woman is blaming the man for ruining the marriage, yet she fails to realize that it never would have happened if she had been honest about her feelings and love for someone else in the beginning. Thanks for adding to the discussion :) Not all women are turned on by how much money a man has in his wallet.
@Kalyni2011 (3503)
• India
14 Jan 11
So both are cheating each other and no body wants to admit the fault, i too had heard about one such couple, they ended up in divorce, too bad, couples should be clean, no cheating lol. thanks for the story kalyani
@buggles64 (2715)
• United States
14 Jan 11
Yes, that's true!! Thanks for adding on :)
@aijing (1)
• China
14 Jan 11
maybe it is not a problem in china like soucke ,weicome to my worknet www.soucke.com ???
@buggles64 (2715)
• United States
14 Jan 11
Well, it' better to ask someone what they want rather than assume, and then ruin lives in the process.
@dorannmwin (36695)
• United States
10 Jan 11
I don't think that there is any kind of coincidence that we are able to find fault in others but don't realize that we have the same kinds of faults. The reason that I think that we aren't able to see our own faults is that we are mostly blind to them. The situation that you've shared is one of the most vivid kinds of betrayal that we can face in our lives. I love my husband and he knows that, but he also does know that there is a piece of me that loves and will always love my ex-boyfriend, so because I've admitted that to him, this is not something that I am guilty of.
@buggles64 (2715)
• United States
10 Jan 11
This is true too. Most of us will always remember our first love, and have feelings for them even though we are no longer together. Thanks for answering this question :)
@jaiho2009 (39034)
• Philippines
8 Jan 11
hello, This really happens when one can not stay faithful in a relationship. They should have not get married if they don't trust and love each other that much. Anyway,they can talk things over...and decided what's best for them,rather than staying in a relationship cheating each other.
@buggles64 (2715)
• United States
8 Jan 11
I agree, this is true...relationships are built on trust....and communication. You have to have both.
@lindiebiz (1014)
• Canada
8 Jan 11
typical human nature we always see the faults of others not ours both of them cheated and it will affect thier relationship
@buggles64 (2715)
• United States
8 Jan 11
How true, it's unfair though because the "wife" is blaming only the husband and refuses to see what she did. I would guess, the relationship will end.
@pit33pit (534)
• Indonesia
8 Jan 11
trying to understand the inner feelings of someone is difficult job involving a lot of thing as size. but most difficult to precisely control our own feeling. that we are only that ordinary human being with all the advantages and disadvantages.
@buggles64 (2715)
• United States
8 Jan 11
I believe that if one is fully committed in a relationship, it is easy to control our own feelings, because we desire nothing else. Thanks for taking the time to answer.
@djbtol (5501)
• United States
8 Jan 11
I would say not a coincidence, but an amazing fact of human nature. I have seen it many times where one person is all over another person because of something they have said or done. But yet, if you analyze what the distraught person is doing in their life, you will see the same mistakes. We are very blind to our own faults. That is why we need a gentle friend to point out our faults.
@buggles64 (2715)
• United States
8 Jan 11
No, it's not a coincidence...the scenario is from a popular soap "Days of Our Lives." Thanks for replying :)
• Philippines
8 Jan 11
hello buggles64! both of them is at fault if i may say so. The husband is physically cheating while the wife is an emotional cheater. Cheating, in its various forms, could only be called as cheating, nothing more or less. Since time immemorial, people had already been admonished for always looking out for the fault of others and failing to see their own faults. It is even pointed out in the bible that such behavior is not acceptable, that we should look for our own failings and faults, before looking on to others. If we continue to act like this, it is as if we make ourselves bigger than we really are, by belittling other people through pointing out their faults and refusing to acknowledge our own mistakes and failings. Life is simple but it is the people who are making it complex.
@buggles64 (2715)
• United States
8 Jan 11
Yes, this is true, and I agree with you. Thank you for taking the time to respond.
• United States
7 Jan 11
Hi, buggles. Even the bible talks to us about not being able to see the faults in ourselves because we are too busy looking at the faults of others. The bible also talks about even lusting after someone in our hearts is a sin, regardless of whether or not we actually do anything about. So, you are right, the woman in your story is just as guilty as the man. But it is much easier for us to blame the other person than to think we may be at fault also. Maybe she thought if she brought his indescretion out in the open that it would make hers seem smaller.
@buggles64 (2715)
• United States
7 Jan 11
This is certainly true. Things like this happen everyday, and we're always looking for an excuse as to why something happened. Thank you for your insightfulness.
@kingparker (9698)
• United States
7 Jan 11
Wow, pretty confused with your description up there. I guess men are more intended to cheat than women. They might simply see any woman at the street, and give a second thought of thinking sleeping with that woman. So, it is hard to tell whether a person is a cheater type or not.
@buggles64 (2715)
• United States
7 Jan 11
Well, they are both doing something wrong..in my opinion. The man physically cheats on his wife. The wife also cheats,by loving another man besides her husband whom she also promised to be faithful to. I am sorry, I didn't mean to confuse you with my description.
@EdnaReyes (2628)
• Philippines
15 Jan 11
Sometimes pain blinds the eyes. A hurt person does illogical things and thinks she can get compensation by hurting too the one that cause her much pain. But how one can right a wrong by doing another mistake? The pain would not only continue but will ruin both of them. Better to have forgiveness and stop blaming each other. The damage had been done and they should pick up whatever pieces had been left and start from it.