Im pissed off with my husband!

It's just but natural to get pissed off when you arrive home hoping that all has been in order since your husband is at home and is unemployed, yet it's still not what you at least expected. Maybe you could talk it out with your husband, why he hasn't done what you requested him to do and of course listen to his reasons first. You tell him that him being just stay at home, you at least expect that maybe the food is at least ready when you arrive from work. As to the cleaning, being a man i know it's maybe unmanly to do those chores, but he should think of it as his contribution in your daily way of living. Besides that situation is already common to husbands and wives, the husband as stay at home and unemployed while the wife works for the food to be placed on the table. However, you say your piece in a nice endearing manner not in a confrontational way.

My wife would be pissed off too if I did not do what she has specifically ask me to do. She also wants something to be done completely without leaving certain task neglected half way through, otherwise she won't be impressed. I tend to forget to do something too that also makes her not happy so this year I've made commitment to myself that I want to do everything right as best as I can. Sorry to hear your situation but you will need to tell your husband to get serious on things you will ask to get done while you were working. If I were you in that situation I would not be happy too.

Hi,first,i am sorry to hear your problem.I know,being a mother is not easy,especially for a mother of small kids,especially for a working mother. Your husband can't do well the things you told him to do,you should ask yourself,is it because he just not good at these things?or he just don't want to help you? And as you said,your husband now takes care of your son.You know,taking care of kids is also a tough job.So i suggest you calm down and see has your hasband taken good care of your son?If he has,it is a delight thing.If not,then you should really have a good talk with him.

I'd be ticked off too. I was married for years. Mine would never work even when we put the kids in daycare. He wouldn't do the house chores and would get mad when the house was messy. He'd dump out toy bins and never clean them then get mad at everyone else. Oh, and he also wanted me to pay for his child support for his first kid in the his first marriage. I finally divorced him. Do you cook dinner? Next time don't feed him and when he asks where dinner is ask him why he didn't make it when he was home.

Sometime, it is difficult when you have to take care a children while doing house chores. I do not dare to give you comment on your husband since I do not know the actual situation. But if he really tried it, he should be able to do it. It is rare that a woman go to work where as the husband stay at home and take care of the children. I am a man but I feel pity for you. But there are point for you that you can earn money by yourself without needed to depend on your husband. Many housewife lost their direction of living when their husband can no longer support her.

I am also a mother and a wife and sometimes little things get into our nerves if we are so exhausted. Talking to your husband in a endearing manner to let him understand that to be a working mother is not an easy job and what you want is a little orderliness and cleanliness in your house when you arrive. Nagging and keeping your sentiments within yourself is not an appropriate solution to the situation because it will worsen the problem.Open up with your husband and tell him that your pissed off and can't handle the situation will somehow smooth en your relationship.

I would be mad as well. If I came home and found my home not cleaned and my husband just laying around. Myself being a stay at home mom, and when my kids were at that age. I still managed to get things done, with plenty of time to play with them. Next time he does this, and you are left with the laundry, just do yours and your sons. I would then just sit down on the couch after dinner and go good grief I'm tired and Honey, if you ever want any more loving from me. You will get off your fat a** and either look for a job, or do what I have kindly asked of you to do. Believe me, he will.

Well, this is problem, when the male does not go to work, and is dependent on his wife.You have not given the complete reasons why the work was not finished.There could have been some genuine reasons why the work was not done. Do not think that i am taking the side of your husband. But these kind of things happen.

Dear friend, Relax have patience, hope this could be solved before it become worse, at least your husband is not hurting you physically, there are some husband who manhandles their wives. Now there are also wives who manhandles their husband. I feel those love in heart could solve all these, just take 5 minutes meditation when you get pissed off. May be soon those will be solved, husband and wife problems are better to solved by themselves. I wish you will soon have nice happy home.

Hi Mingviva, I understand why you are upset but still, I don't think it is worth an argument. You say you told him to do things. Did you tell him or did you ask him? Don't get me wrong here. I'm not trying to be critical but alot of times when we want help, we go about soliciting it all wrong and pretty much set ourselves up for disappointment. I know that with kids, things can be unpredictable and they come first. I was a single mom and I know that sometimes when the kids were not demanding my attention I just needed a break. I would have not wanted someone to tell me what to do. However, if they told me that it would really be helpful and ask me to do something if they had the time...I'd probably do all I could to help. It's all in the approach. Also, If they didn't do it...don't knock yourself out...all the housework will be there tomorrow.

Hi, Without knowing the whole issue it would be difficult to pass a judgment. What you have said is correct. One is not machine and besides there is your jobless hubby. Since he has got plenty of time he could have unquestionably helped the household chores with taking care of the baby as well.

Is your husband an Asian; or is he a Filipino? Actually it's our culture especially the Filipino men. Most of them are lazy and even don't mind about their wife and mind you they are so boastful. Like you my husband sometimes is lazy but he's working he have a job. He don't want to do household chores maybe because he thinks he'll lost his virility if he does some household chores. And they are demanding too. In their minds it's always women who'll burden the household chores not them. You will really lost your composure if you'll see them slouch on the sofa while you're sweating.

Reasons, reasons, reasons what are these resones you accept him unemployed why you are upset now ? ask him to find any job or take some actions

Oh, Im sorry to hear that. I have also a mother of a 4-year old son and when he cries i get stress. Though he is also the reason why i feel glad everytime i get home. Because he is so adorable and sweet. About your husband i think you should talk to him and tell him that you are tired from work. and you need his help. Stay calm..getting pissed sometimes wont offer you any help. God bless. Take care always.

It is not like that as you think Viva! If your husband takes care of your son, then I think he has compensated your work. You also compensate his work being employed! It's nice, but after your return to home, you both are husband and wife as well as responsible parents of your child. This sense of responsibility is also required for understanding any sort of error between both of you and rectify it unconditionally without any complains! Of course, your husband, irrespective of his employment status, must co-operate with your in-home work regularly. Hope you both understand my points! Thanks for this nice topic and have your husband in tune with your feelings!!

Yes, you have every right to be pissed. He should have done something. But maybe you cut your own throat? Let me explain. I used to nag my hubby to wash dishes. We've been married for years and years, and he does NOT do dishes. Finally, I grew up a bit. I actually listened when he told me why he won't do them. When he did do them, I criticized. Constantly. I never realized I was so OCD. The plates have to be HERE, the cups HERE, they have to be in such and such order, it all had to be done exactly the way I did them. No wonder he wouldn't touch them!! There was no way he could do it right, so he was going to get yelled at no matter what. I'm a smart bird. It only took me 7 or so years to actually listen to what he was telling me!! When you're dealing with a guy, it's like a kid. They're just starting, so only praise, never criticize what they do accomplish. How urgent are the chores? Can they be put off? If so, just leave them. Not everything has to be done. Dishes won't melt if you let them sit (darn it), the floor won't fall through if it's not vacuumed or swept, just ignore it.

How did you talk to your husband about this? What is his reasons why he was not able to do what you wanted him to do? husbands are not home material, most of them are used of working and providing food for the family. But in your case, it got reversed. I just hope that your husband will still be on his feet to look for a job so that he can provide for you and your family. I also don't suggest that you fight over some things like keeping the house clean. Maybe he can do less but not perfect and expect less since that is a man, he can't do all the cleaning and cluttering done in one stroke. Just be patient, talk it well and don't raise your voice to your husband. Never ever brag and nag on him too. You are still his wife, and wife should respect and submit to their husband as well. Talk heart to heart to solve things well. There is no problem that cannot be solve. Don't ask anyones opinion to fit yours. Talk to the person involve and both of you should work it out. It should be just between you and your husband.

I understand that you were probably in no mood to be 'sweet' after you got home from a grueling day's work, but the expression "You can catch more flies with sugar than you can with vinegar" applies here. Next time do three things differently: 1. Make a fuss over the things he has done well. Tell him how tired you are after work, and how very much you appreciate it that he has 'made your day' by getting such & such done. 2. Find out what's on his agenda for the day. Make sure that he doesn't have plans to do something that is important to him to do for the household. Then, ask -- don't tell him what you think needs to be done. Example: Honey, I noticed we're running low on clean socks, would you please toss a load in the washer as soon as you get a chance -- it would really help out a lot if you did that -- I'm just so beat when I come home I don't have the energy to do it myself. Instead of: Make sure you wash those socks today. Also, try to give him a little notice about things that need to be done, so he has a choice if he wants to tackle it today or tomorrow or when he can work it in. 3. If he doesn't do what you ask, then you shouldn't do it either. If he knows you're going to jump right in and take care of it, what's his reason for doing it himself? Just say something like: I'm bushed, otherwise I'd throw those socks in myself, but since I'm so tired, would you do it for me tonight? Hope this helps!

If I am the husband, I will do house chores because my wife has been working so hard to earn our living. She deserves a rest when she gets home. Its just a matter of give and take. I say this because I am a husband with work, my wife do the house chores. But during weekend like saturday and sunday, I do the house chores like cooking, washing the dishes, sometimes laundry, and so on. I tell my wife to take a rest and I will be the one to cook for her.

oh. how sad story you have there madam, you better divorce your husband he's a piece of junk and you should let him eat out of your hand, in my opinion man do the work and woman is the queen of the house, queen meaning she is in charge everything inside the house. your husband is a lazy jerk and doesn't deserve you. but if you love him,,, well all is fair in love and war right? just let him know that you don't like what he is doing and your tired he should understand you in all the ways since your the breadwinner of the family.