Do you believe in following the principles of natural justice?

@dpk262006 (58675)
Delhi, India
January 12, 2011 5:01am CST
Hi friends! Principles of natural justice say that in a case where two parties are involved and one party before taking a vital decision (like severing his/her ties) should give the other party an opportunity to put up his case and to defend himself/herself. Suppose something untoward and serious happens between you and your friend or your relative and you do not want to continue the relationship/friendship, in that case, would you break the relationship unilaterally, without acting on the principal of natural justice? Would you give the other party a chance to express his/her side of story? Or you will not? In another case, you are an employer and your employee has done something seriously wrong, would you ask him/her to tell his side of story or would you axe him/her, without listening to him/her? Please share your views and experiences with us.
3 people like this
14 responses
saphrina
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
12 Jan 11
Hi Deepak. I normally give people the benefit of the doubt. Depending on my mood though. A story always have 2 sides whether we like it or not. TATA.
1 person likes this
dpk262006
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
12 Jan 11
Hi Saph! It is really great on your part that you give benefit of doubt to others and you believe that story has two sides (sadly many do not believe like you). Thanks for sharing.
1 person likes this
dpk262006
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
12 Jan 11
You are right - May be they are either idiots and behave in an idiotic manner.
saphrina
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
12 Jan 11
Thanx Deepak. One thing to remember, most people are either idiots or spiteful.
mimpi
@mimpi1911 (25464)
• India
15 Jan 11
Hi Deepak, thanks for starting a very good discussion. I think, everyone should have the right to speak for himself and no matter what I would listen to and try to understand what's going on behind the scenes. I have always done that. Nothing great in giving benefits of doubt to others. It should follow naturally just as others have given love, friendship and have held us in high esteem when we were not right. In case of my family or friends, I would certainly try to be in their shoes and listen to them. As a matter of fact, I would go an extra mile pondering over it again and again and try to work on the loopholes before taking any step. Breaking takes seconds and building ages, isn't it!
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mimpi
@mimpi1911 (25464)
• India
17 Jan 11
Thanks Deepak. I have always felt this way no matter what. Many times, when I could not catch up with friends and was misunderstood or vice versa I had tried to express myself or had listened to them. Talking sorts things out or else a simple mis understanding could be fatal for a relationship. I would really feel bad if my friend just severs with me without considering my side. Hope all's well.
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dpk262006
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
19 Jan 11
So true! Trivial misunderstandings be better resolved before taking any final decison. I agree sometimes 'silence' could be misunderstood and people extract more than one meaning of 'silence'. All your friends should see your comments and before thinking anything 'odd' about you, should give you an opportunity to explain your position. PS - All is well.
dpk262006
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
17 Jan 11
Hi Mimpi! You have rightly pointed out that before axing anybody s/he should be given an opportunity to speak about herself/himself. There is no harm in giving benefit of doubt to the other party, if that is going to help mending ways. It is so true that breaking takes a second and it is very easy to severe ties and building a relationship takes a year and many steps to form a bonding. Many thanks for appreciating the post and for joining us after such a long time. Deepak PS - Hope you are better now!
sarahruthbeth22
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
13 Jan 11
I am ruthless. If a person , family or not , hurts me and does not apologize to me immediately , then I write them off. If they can't see that they hurt me , it will be easy for them to hurt me again and again so I just walk away. The last person I wrote off was my sister's boyfriend . he called me crazy because of my views and ever since I ceased to acknowledge him , that was about 6 months ago.
1 person likes this
sarahruthbeth22
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
13 Jan 11
No it only takes once. One time where you Mean to demean me , One time when you hurt my feelings and Never say sorry and I am out of your life. I Won't stand for that type of treatment.
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dpk262006
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
14 Jan 11
Yeah, this is what I meant to say - if the one who hurts you, say 'sorry' and you accept it, it means the matter is over. However, if s/he does not say sorry to you and keep repeating mistakes/ or keep offending you, than you are free to axe him/her.
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dpk262006
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
13 Jan 11
Hi Sarah! You see even if you are ruthless, you, I believe will not severe relations with anyone till s/he commits mistakes again and again does not mend his/her ways. Thanks for sharing your views.
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Sreekala
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
21 Jan 11
Hello Deepak, When you register for the course of L.L.B, you are talking like and advocate. For me it depends on the person, the nature of relationship etc. But I think I am not a person to take a decision myself. In case I need to take any such decision then the situation must be serious. Usually I am giving space and time for those who did any wrong things to me.
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dpk262006
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
21 Jan 11
OH My God Sree! Who told you that am going for an LLB degree?. I just asked a simple question and I did not talk like an advocate. Can I do so with my friends ? BTW, what makes you not take a decision related to you? Do you allow the benefit of doubt to the other party? Many thanks for joining and sharing.
1 person likes this
ckyera
@ckyera (17332)
• Philippines
20 Mar 11
hi dpk my friend! i think that would be the right thing to do? to give the other party a chance to explain their side or to defend themselves... sometimes things like this is easier said than done because when we are already in the situation and some hurting or angry feelings are involved we tend to make decisions right away and sometimes even become unreasonable which most of the time we regret in the end. i think it will be better to wait for the situation to cool down before doing anything or acting upon it so that we can think better and will be able to make better decisions.
1 person likes this
dpk262006
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
21 Mar 11
Hi my dear friend ck! You have said it very well that we should not act in a haste and we should take our own time to take a decision and should realise that before 'acting', we should get to know the other side of the picture and other person's circumstances. Many thanks for sharing your excellent views.
Iriene88
@Iriene88 (5343)
• Malaysia
13 Jan 11
Hi dpk, Happy New Year 2011 ... I think I will practice natural justice before any drastic action be taken. I believe everyone should be given a fair chance to defense oneself. Once a drastic measure is taken, the chance to reconcile a sour relationship is tougher. It is best to have an open heart to heart discussion and evaluate the situation in a neutral basis :)
1 person likes this
dpk262006
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
13 Jan 11
Happy New Year to you too Iriene! I am glad to hear that you believe in practising principles of natural justic and you will take a decsion after providing a chance to other party to bring out his/her position. Open discussion do help clear many doubts and unfounded apprehensions about each other. Thanks for enriching the post.
SViswan
@SViswan (12051)
• India
12 Jan 11
A lot depends on the equation between the people concerned. If it's a really good friend, I will first give them a benefit of the doubt and then talk it over before I take a decision. But if it's someone I'm not really close to, I might ignore them or leave things at that. I couldn't care less. There are so many other important things to break my head over than someone who probably isn't really making a mark in my life. If the friendship/relationship is important to me and having it or losing it will affect it me in some way, I will take the time and energy to see what can be done....listen to the other side of the story. If not, I might just talk it over once and leave it at that. No judgement or biases...just drop it.
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dpk262006
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
12 Jan 11
HI Sv! Yeah, it is quite appropriate and judicious to give benefit of doubt to your friends, whom you know closely, before arriving at a vital decision. And you say - you will talk it over once, it means you won't take a unilateral decision to end a relationship, that is so wise of you. Many thanks for taking time to join us.
paula27661
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
16 Jan 11
As a rule I would have to say that it is fair to always give the other party a chance to put forward his or her side of the situation but because life is the way it is there are times when this does not always happen. I had a friend years ago who put me through a great deal of distress over a long period of time and never seemed to take ownership for her actions so I eventually came to the point where I could not take any more from her and I cut all ties without following the principles of natural justice and talking to her first. I don’t regret my decision because she is the type of person who is not likely to take responsibility for her mistakes.
dpk262006
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
17 Jan 11
Hi Paula! You see even if you did not give chance to your friend to come out with her side, when she was misbehaving with you, I believe you would have waited patiently to mend her ways herself, but when she did not you severed ties with her. And I also believe that she would not have complained to you about it? Many thanks for sharing your views and experience with us. Deepak PS - How are you doing?
1 person likes this
dpk262006
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
19 Jan 11
Nice to see you Paula in my discussion and I hope you get full access to your internet conenction soon so that you could freely come on mylot. It is my pleasure too to talk to you Paula.
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paula27661
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
17 Jan 11
I am fine. I haven't been as active as I would like lately because we've been away and my mobile broadband didn't work! Now that I am home again I have my daughter home on school holidays so I log in when I can...I'll catch up when she is back at school in a couple of weeks and who knows...I may even start a discussion or two! Good to 'chat' with you deepak!
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kiran8
@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
10 Mar 11
Hi deepak,It is only fair that we give an opportunity to the other party/person to express his views and if necessary defend his actions. Every issue has two sides, sometimes even more, so one has to make judgments or come to a decision only after taking everything into consideration...all the best, have a nice week..
dpk262006
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
11 Mar 11
Hi Kiran! You have very rightly said that it will be in the fitness of things to given an opportunity to other party. We should not arrive at a decision on the basis of one side of the story. And it is natural tendency that if am sharing any of my grievances with you, I won't tell the other side of the story. Thanks for droping in. have a nice weekend! Deepak
kiran8
@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
12 Jan 11
Deepak,In my opinion, it is totally unfair to come to any conclusion without going deep into the matter and analyse any matter from all angles. When a certain unpleasant incident takes place there is always a background to it. It is the culmination of many other previous actions an reactions between the individuals concerned. One person may be more at fault but the person should be given a chance to explain himself/herself. I feel that if we are serious and are committed to a certain relationship we would never turn our back without giving an opportunity to the other person to explain - it is the same with an employer and employee, they should remember that no one is perfect and mistakes are bound to happen ...all the best deepak
1 person likes this
dpk262006
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
13 Jan 11
Hi Kiran! I appreciate your thoughts that without going into the details, without looking at other side of the story, it would be unfair to take a crucial decision regarding breaking relationship/friendhip. It will be saner on our part to give an opportunity to the other party, who caused us unpleasant situation. I think those who do not do it are unfair and ruthless. All the best to you Kiran! Have a great day!
vanny
@vandana7 (98702)
• India
12 Jan 11
Hi Deepu, I am a great one to hold on to relationships, in whichever form. I am a cancerian, so clutching comes naturally to me. I always give other person a chance. Only when it reaches a level that I am going to hurt and retaliate, or when I find explanations not consistent with actions do I severe the relationships. And once I do, there is no looking back. I am bad because forgiveness is a thing I cant do. Remember how our friendship started? Well, that girl sent a new year greeting, and I have not opened it inspite of reminders. Hope the message reaches loud and clear. Sometimes it is better to part ways so that mind is able to forget, and engage in other happier pursuits, so that more happiness is spread.
1 person likes this
dpk262006
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
13 Jan 11
Hi Vandana! It is nice to see you in the discussion and read your thoughts. I know it Vandana you will not severe the ties unilaterally. You will give an opportunity to the other person. If somebody has done real damage to your feelings, their is no question of thinking about forgiving him/her, no way. I agree if the other party is unfit for a coordial relations to continue, it is better to be alone. Deepak PS - Congratulations on crossing 5000 mark, which I did not notice earlier.
Always smiling
@allknowing (130067)
• India
12 Jan 11
Let me answer your second poser first. In an Organisation no individual is permitted to take decisions without going through the procedures that include giving an opportunity to the accused to explain. Regarding relationships between friends and family, if there is someone who has decided to sever relationships without batting an eyelid he/she must be having good reasons to do it. The very fact that such a decision is taken tells volumes about the urgency with which that person wants to get away from that relationship without wanting to have a dialogue. If there are grounds to hold on, grounds that spell inter-dependence the whole scenario changes.Having said this it would be in fact better if the aggrieved party also stays away as no one sided relationship can last long.
dpk262006
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
12 Jan 11
Hello all! The second part of my question was if you are an employer then what will you do? I know most of the Organisation have mechanism and they give an opportunity to their employees to put up their side of story, before axing them. You see it is a generalized statement that there would be good reasons to end a relationship, it means the fellow who is severing the relationship is taking a unilateral decision? I personally think that before ending a relationship on some serious ground, one should listen to the other party. Thanks for sharing your views and enriching the post.
dpk262006
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
13 Jan 11
It is not the unpleasant dialogue which one does not want to face (the one who is severing the ties) s/he does not want to show to the other party that s/he is merciliess and cruel, therefore s/he does not initiate any dialogue and takes the decision unilaterly, the other party cannot come to know his/her real motive, this is what I think.
Always smiling
@allknowing (130067)
• India
13 Jan 11
I do agree with you that there should be a dialogue but if the one who decides to sever has weighed the pros and cons in his/her mind about going through a rather unpleasant dialogue he/she prefers to skip that step.
kingparker
@kingparker (9673)
• United States
12 Jan 11
You can not make ultimate decision base on what you see and what you feel like. You have to give a chance to other party to explain it, then you further your thinking base on other side's story. Sometimes, you have to see it from different angle, otherwise, you might make a wrong decision base on your rush conclusion.
1 person likes this
dpk262006
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
12 Jan 11
You appear very practical to me. It means you would give a chance to other party, before severing your relations with him/her? Thanks for being the first one to kick start the discussion.
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jennyze
@jennyze (7029)
• Indonesia
14 Mar 11
All I know of nature justice is "an eye for an eye". In case of an employer made a mistake, I would ask first why, if the reason seems so stupid I would axe him/her.
dpk262006
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
14 Mar 11
Hi jen! I hope you are referring to your 'employee', not your employer? It will be difficult to axe your own 'employer', if s/he commits a mistake. My view is that the other party should be given a change to explain his/her position, before s/he is axed for his/her wrong doings.