How does it feels to be a spinster/bachelor all your life?

Philippines
January 16, 2011 11:10am CST
Often I wonder how does it feels to live on your own, without someone to spend the rest of the day and without someone to spend the night too which is really rather more difficult :-) I have 3 spinster aunts and I wanted to ask them how does it feels to live alone without a family to call their own, without children but I can't. I wanted to but I can't I know that it will really hurt them, each of them has their own story why they didn't marry and I felt bad about it. I have a partner and a kid and I know that I don't have to worry when I grow old but this thoughts are always on my mind, how do they cope up with it? We filipinos, have the so called extended families like we take care of them even if they are already old, but what about other nationalities? I bet each of us have their stories to tell and I'm sure that it will be great reading about it more...
7 responses
• Pakistan
17 Jan 11
With a few exceptions, its an unnatural and hence unfulfilling situation where you don't have a companion to share your life with. Over time the norms of society have changed to an extent where the criterion for the 'perfect' life partner are becoming more and more difficult for people to live up to and hence marriages don't take place. It is not the fault of the individual if he/she fails in living up to the expectations of the society. Instead as a society, its our fault because on one hand, there are people who complain about how hard it is to find a good life partner but on the other hand, they are adding up to their definition of idealism, not realizing how imperfect their expectations are.
• Philippines
17 Jan 11
There are so many reasons why people stayed single, but I'd like to make an emphasis based on the Scripture.In Matthew 19:12 "For there are eunuchs who were born so from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs because of the kingdom of the heavens.He who can accept it, let him accept it." So, although marriage is ordained by God, yet some have been given the gift to remain unmarried.To be a eunuch or to stay in a celibate state, or to remain single all your life is not a failure but rather a gift not anyone can have.On the one hand, anyone who attempts to remain unmarried without this kind of gift will surely meet with temptations.
@lingli_78 (12852)
• Australia
17 Jan 11
i can't say much because i'm not experiencing this myself... i am already married and have a hubby... for me, i can never live on my own... it will be too lonely and scary for me... i always prefer to have somebody to spend the rest of my life with plus children if God is willing to give me one... take care and have a nice day...
@cher913 (25895)
• Canada
16 Jan 11
au contraire, sometimes it is way better to be on your own, no one to answer to , come and go as you please etc.
@rappeter13 (5298)
• Romania
16 Jan 11
I think it is more of the same almost everywhere in the world. It depends a lot on where the children get a job and how much money does a family have. I think that it is not good for a child to live with the parents, after making a family for himself. Of course, good relation with our relatives are good, but I think that if the young couple lives with the parents, it will be a source of conflict. And a young couple needs privacy, no hassle from the parents. And I have to say that the majority of elderly people become "insane" after a while and very egoistic, and make the life of the children a living hell.
@joygracia (1329)
• Philippines
16 Jan 11
I am okay of being a spinster because I realize I am happier this way compared to having a complicated relationship but since i just recently had a broken heart, its kinda hard for me staying this way. I do have the willingness to move on from that relationship I have before. Staying single as off the moment makes me wish I have someone to help move on and that would be somebody who could be my better half someday. Hopefully I could have one.
• Philippines
16 Jan 11
Hello! I have just read your post. I actually have an aunt who never married. She says it was her personal choice to remain single because she has seven siblings, including my mother, and she rather wants to babysit their children and make them happy by spoiling them with gifts. My siblings, my cousins, and I love her very much because she is like our second mom. We love our moms but she is the kind of "mom" who loves to give the things that we never could get if we ask them from our biological mom. Haha... No, aside from that, she listens to our feelings in a way that we become unafraid to tell her how we view things. I had this chance to ask her what if she gets married someday. She just laughed and said that she's very happy with being single. She said that God's purpose for her on earth is to give guidance to her sibling's children. I could see in her face that indeed she's happy. She's never grumpy and sad. :)