How we motivate her?

India
January 18, 2011 8:22pm CST
There is a girl in my class, so sensitive, descent family, upto tenth class she had studied in girls high schools only(only girls), And there are no close friends to her in th classroom or outside to talk with her openly. If she have any problem she will tell to her friends only. But from the engineering first there is a boy has been showing some special interest on her. She thought that "he is a good friend to me, he is a good person, i have to maintain a good relationship with him only, i have to be in my limits because of my family also, i have to get my dreams come true, i have to get a good job, because my fathter is working so hard for my engineering studies, i don't want to dilute their dreams, I have to be good with everyone, and to talk politely in the classroom",.... she is thinking like wise, Now we are in third year, Yesterday a girl(who is behaving very close with boys, and who can cross her limits) came to her, And tell to her like this"All our classmates are misunderstanding your relation, He is loving you, And our classmates also thinking that you also loving him, you both are lovers....." like wise she told her. THIS IS A TOTALLY a DEPRESSION TO HER MIND, IT IS SHOCKING NEWS TO HER, from the three years she never feel like that. Because of classmates wrong comments why should suffer like this? HOW SHOULD SHE COME OUT FROM THIS PROBLEM? And i also clearly asked that boy(few days back, two three times asked like this)"are really loving that girl, is it true?", but he said that "she is a good friend to me?"(not believable for me). Friends this is the situation how can we motivate her from this problem? If one day, he will say like this to her"i am good brother to you?", then she will happy, but how far it is correct? Is it believable?
1 person likes this
3 responses
• United States
19 Jan 11
Sometimes depression's onset is not noted until sometime later. As a friend you have to encourage her to begin to love herself first. Sometimes depression goes far deeper then family and friends can assist with, so some people have to seek help from a medical professional. I know this will be an issue as it is costly. So my best advice would be for you and many others to speak to her privately and let her know it is okay to be sad, many of us will sad at different times in our lives. But she needs to be able to discuss what she is feeling and and let her know that it will be good for her to talk to you as you will listen. There are times when some will openly discuss as they feel they need someone to simply listen. At other times you will not be able to get her to speak as often times depression does not allow a person to be able recognize the reason. Continue to be her friend and offering your listening ears, and if she refuses for whichever reason, tell her to speak to either her sister and or mother. Continue to remind her how she has to love herself and maybe she will open up and discuss further. If she says You are her brother, she is relating to you more then just a friend but like blood and family. So if she does say this that means she trusts you.
• India
19 Jan 11
She and he both are my classmates, both are close to me... I can do my level best.
• India
19 Jan 11
Again and again i m trying my level best to motivate her, and to tell her about career and future, And i allot some time for her also, i am giving good suggestions to her. For me its a small problem, I have seen many problems like this, For me CAREER AND OUR BRIGHT FUTURE is important, in that way only i can talk with anyone, whatever it is we have to develop first, then we do any help for others. I have been trying to give a good n helpful information and suggestions to my friends to develop their career.
• United States
19 Jan 11
The only way you can motivate her is to simply inform her about the people perhaps in your country who never complete an education, and never seek out for advancement. Give her examples of some women who marry very young and later have regrets of not taking life and turning it to it's potential. Outside of that not know how else she can be helped as surely she has to see that the poor struggle daily and it sure it not a good feeling. If she does not take note to this then she really is not putting her efforts forward and has no interest as you do.
@auyuelin (233)
• China
19 Jan 11
I don't quite understand your purpose,you want the boy be the girl's boyfriend or want him be her friend or brother,I don't quite understand.
@Hatley (164652)
• Garden Grove, California
19 Jan 11
hi rameshchow kids can be so cruel to othe kids,specially teen girls ore early twenties.That girl should not have told her all that crap.It was none of her business. the girl you are talking about sounds like a lovely responsbible girl who wants to get her degree and repay her parents by doing really well, and thus she probably only wants a friendship with'tho boy not a relationship. why did the other girl have to upset her like that.How awful for that bratty girl to tell this to her and all the class. I can only suggerst you support her and be a good friend to her and rameshchow I am not sure what to say as good friends of opposite sexes most often fall in love, I and my hubby were best friends and we could not help ourselves, we just had to fall in love,it seemed meant to be. I wou ld suggtest you really support both of them and if its meant to blossom into love, well college students have been known to wed and still make the most of their learning.if they startas good friends, they will eventually take the next step. believe me its the most wonderful thing in the worl to fall in love with your best friend. I know. I am a widow an still miss him.