"I'm so disappointed in you."

United States
January 21, 2011 9:02am CST
Did your parents ever say this to you? and if so how did it make you feel? Me? My parents never said it. Looking back it was a good thing because if I had heard that, I would have stopped trying to do Anything good. I assume parents say it to make th3e child feel bad about what they did. I would have felt bad about who I am. Whatever I did, I would have done anyway. Somehow my mom Must have known that about me so she never said it. My dad? I was his angel but then again , he died when I was 12, Just before my teen years! How about you? Would hearing how disappointed your parents are in you , would that make you Want to do better?
2 people like this
19 responses
@rberon1985 (5394)
• Philippines
21 Jan 11
I have done a lot of mistakes in life.And i'm sure my family is so disappointed with what i have done.i understand them.but i never heard something from them especially from my mom.she is still the same when i was young.she is still supporting me in all my decisions.that is why,that i am old enough,i am doing my very best to make my mom very happy.as much as possible,i am providing all her needs in life.i am giving her things that will satisfy her and will make her happy. on the other hand,with my father,i don't know where he is right now,just like you,when i was still young,he left us behind.we've found out that she lives with a new girl.i am really disappointed at him but i can't tell him.whatever happen,he is still my father.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
22 Jan 11
i will do my very best to make my mom happy.i will provide everything for her. when i was still young,she gave all her life to me.just an idea,i am always sick when i was a child,so she is really hands on to me that time.whatever i ask her that time,she provide to me.this time,it's my turn to say thank you. to appreciate all the things that she has given me.i promise to myself,though i am not stable this time,i will still provide her eveything whatever happen.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Jan 11
@lydneis (26)
• United States
22 Jan 11
My parents never said it, but there are times they probably should have. In my case I've always been really hard on myself so other people tend not to criticise me. It's actually really annoying. I can know that I'm doing something wrong but no one will correct me so I don't know the right way to do it. You don't learn by people placating you. I think in the right context words like that can be a wake up call. Unfortunately people tend to use those words to inflict pain and guilt.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Jan 11
My parents taught me right from wrong without using this phrase. I would have taken it the wrong way.
• United States
22 Jan 11
Everyone's different, and honestly like I said people use words like this as a weapon more times than not so it's probably better that way. There are more diplomatic ways to criticise, but some people do need a harsh lesson once in awhile.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
21 Jan 11
It must be hard to lose a parent at that age. At least I know two friends who lost their mothers at age 12, and they were really devastated. I don't think my parents every said that. It was more indirect. Like I'd come home with a report card, all A's and B's, and mom would say I was capable of getting all A's. Or once she told me she loved me but she didn't always like me.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
21 Jan 11
Oh, and it didn't make me want to do better. It made me feel like my best wasn't good enough.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Jan 11
Exactly! My mom was always pleased to see A's and B's. She Always said she was proud of me. I'm a perfectionist so I naturally tried my best. And when it wasn't good enough, I felt bad. But if I thought my mom would be disappointed, I would have stopped trying and quit school. That would have Really disappointed my mom. All she wanted me to do is finish highschool.
@blue65packer (11835)
• United States
28 Jan 11
I never heard my parents say they were disappoint in me. They just acted like they were! They never said they were proud of me or with my siblings! So I have gone through life feeling not loved by my dad but I just knew my mom did love me! In her own quirk way! When my mom was alive (she has been gone 15 years now)I heard through my sister-in-law,who is my older brother's wife,that my dad was proud of me! Then I heard stories my dad couldn't tell my siblings the same thing! They heard it through other people,just like me! I didn't understand why my dad did this for years and have never been happy he did it that way! Now I understand lots of parents do that! It isn't right but it happens!
• United States
30 Jan 11
Back in the day , parents thought they shouldn't praise children or they would get conceited. So they don't say a thing and the child thinks the total opposite! It is sad.
@maxen07 (887)
• Philippines
23 Jan 11
My parents never needed to say that to my face, they just show it especially when I had my baby out of wedlock. They would say that I can't complain since I wanted to get pregnant even though it was really unintentional. My son is three years old now and I can feel that they haven't totally forgiven me for what I did.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Jan 11
What did they want you to do? Give the baby up? An abortion? You chose to have and keep your baby! The choice was yours to make , not theirs! I hope eventually they will come around!
@mr_pearl (5037)
• India
23 Jan 11
Oh yes, it would hurt any kid... My parents said that thing to me maybe, million times... And the result has been shattering.. When I look back, I grieve that the bad upbringing has got me many problems... I am sorry about your dad... It hurts deeply to read that you lost him when you were 12 only... No kid would ever feel like improving if he is criticized by parents.. Criticism is the worst thing ever... It never improves anything or anyone...
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Jan 11
Thank you.
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
21 Jan 11
Depending on the situation.....my parents for the most part never said that..they were pretty positive. If they did it was because I really mucked something up...then maybe I deserved it. But one thing for sure...once you hear those words it's like a recording and it might have helped me make a better decision in certain situations!
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Jan 11
I would hear , " You will Never be good enough. You are nothing." And I wouldn't start anything or do anything good , from then on.
@myx_03 (540)
• Philippines
21 Jan 11
My parents never said those words to me,.. They are always there and take who really I am. My family has always a problem financially and that's the reason why I need to be strong and keep doing a good things to help my family out of mud....
• United States
22 Jan 11
You will make it! Take Care.
@louievill (19312)
• Philippines
21 Jan 11
My parents never said that to me or to my brother and sister, modesty aside, I came from a very happy home, my parents always kept us motivated and always emphasize on our strength and talents. Although they are quick to point out our weak points, they always said it in away that is not offensive and we always corrected it together as a family, we were also close to my Grand parents, uncles and aunts who lived just nearby and were equally always positive and supportive
• United States
22 Jan 11
Fantastic! This is how it Should be!
• United States
21 Jan 11
I was not raised by my biological parents, and had a vast of different parents thought out my life. I would think these words would encourage someone to do better, prove their parents wrong and or feel more apt to do better. However, hearing it too much would sort of taint a child's self esteem, I think. If I was to hear this I certainly would dig deep and try and figure out where I could improve.
1 person likes this
• China
21 Jan 11
Yes my parents said this to me and i feel so guilty that time. But as they said this to me that's why from next time i try my best to do not disappoint them again. I know my parents love me so much and that's why they expect much from us that's the reason sometime they say that we disappoint them. It doesn't mean we are looser or something else it means don't do same kind of mistake again. And yes that things make me do batter.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Jan 11
My mom must have know that these words wouldn't help but hurt. When I did something wrong I was corrected but They never said they were disappointed.
@thesids (22358)
• Bhubaneswar, India
21 Jan 11
Hi Sarah, Quite many a times I have heard thins being told to me... By parents, friends and even me. Initially when my parents told this I felt bad and tried to improve. Later I realized why they tell such things and since then, I take this as a positive criticism. Today, I think I have never done anything that bad so that my parents or anyone has to say this as the meaning goes really worse if we think it from the dictionary thing. They say / said this just to boost me and my ego so that I do give more efforts. Regards, theSids.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Jan 11
It would have the opposite effect. When I was little , I would take it as yet another reason I shouldn't be here at all. Then as a teen I would have taken this as a badge of honor or should I say dishonor. I would from then on become evil. Now, I take it as a sign that I will Never live up to this person's view of me so we should part.
• India
24 Jan 11
My parents never said anything similar to these lines and I do not see any reason for them to say that to me. I am a good son
1 person likes this
22 Jan 11
I think if its used as constructive critism its ok.but my parents often said it with no backup or input and that left me feeling very down and worthless.
1 person likes this
@fizzer (74)
• Pakistan
22 Jan 11
yes they always says me that i am not that i am not fulfiling theeir dreams that they are expecting for me ,but i think that this was not at all discouraging because they make you realize that thser are some responsibilities on your shoulders,and at that time i really understand that they are right,and i think they motivate me.
1 person likes this
@eurekafemme (5881)
• Philippines
22 Jan 11
My parents did not say those words directly to me but I know deep inside my heart that I have disappointed them. They brought up so well, me and my two siblings. They gave everything we need and we deserve to best they can. They made sacrifices for us so we can have a comfortable life, not that we were raised as brats, but we had a fair and decent lives as we were growing up. We were all achievers and our parents were really hoping we will continue to be that way. But, sadly, we screwed up, all three of us, along the way. They never said a thing but we can feel it especially when we are in trouble and we run to them for help. My Mom would often exclaimed in great desperation " If only you did well and listen to us...." Yes, because of this, I want to do better and I'm hoping it is not late to maje up for them for all the sacrifices they made....
1 person likes this
@bounce58 (17524)
• Canada
21 Jan 11
I've heard that a few times when I was growing up. But it was when I was a little older, and usually for some serious stuff. And when they said it, it was not at the heat of the moment, they said it quietly. And that's what made it even worse for me. Yes I did want to do better. Because at that time, I understood where they were coming from. And the gravity of the things that I did.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
21 Jan 11
I've never heard that from them. What they did was straight up disciplinary actions immediately. It was tough but I now see what it meant. When I was young I was always hanging out with friends at this steep hill but I never told my parents that although they I didn't know that I was forbidden to go there because it was too dangerous. One evening they asked where I was and I told them I went to that hill. My father hit me on the head (Damn! It was hard) and told me to never go there again. We went back there summer of 2007, me and my friends to reminisce the good ol' times. I was with my youngest brother and seeing him standing on the edge just made me grab him back. Right then and there I understood what the slap was for.
1 person likes this
@Jennlk84 (4219)
• United States
21 Jan 11
I always feared this! Sometimes I think I still do! I do everything I can to please people. I don't like the thoughts or the feelings of someone being disappointed in me. I do everything I can to please them and avoid it. :-)
1 person likes this