Why it is so
January 25, 2011 12:44am CST
Hi friends, my married to whom i loved for 7years. after marriage we faced lot of financial difficulties. even now we are not well settled. yesterday my husband told me he is not passing motion properly. i asked why is it you meight have told me earlier. i will give you some home remedy for it. He suddenly told It is not from 2 days but after marriage i am facing this problem which was not at all there before marriage. i asked why and he said it is all because of your cooking and there is something wrong in your cooking method and the products you use for cooking. i dont know what's wrong in my cooking as though he dont like the taste of my cookings he was still having it for past 6years and suddenly now he says there is something wrong in the method. i am so discouraged. my soul could not take these words. i am sorry for myself.
25 Jan 11
Dear Suguwillu it is one of the common problems we face when we are facing financial problems after the marriage. The tensions ,the anxiety, the irritation because of failures on financial front practically drains one and one tend to behave in a hostile way, some times with an aggression of higher degree! Normally when ever one suffers from mental tension it will result into digestive disturbances and constipation is one of the common ailment seen in such condition. Constipation makes one more irritable to the existing tensions! Your husband may not really mean that it is because of your cooking he is suffering from constipation as he already has had same food for last so many years and he was OK! This he must have said either when he was anger or he must have said as he was frustrated. There is a old saying what is known as seven years itch, where there is a difference between wife and husband at this time because of several reasons and they may be manifested in different ways. But here I think main reason seems to be financial crisis which is playing the major role1 Please don't get dejected or discourages. At this juncture what all you need is to have patience and have a composed position.Though it may look difficult, please try to be positive with your husband and make him feel that you really care for him and talk with him about his problems and assure him that you want to share his problems and if possible try to help out him to solve his problems. In country like India husband has to carry out various things to make money in order to support the family, if he doesn't have proper job at his hand. He has to face several types of people with different nature and behaviour and as you know the World is merciless and it strictly follow the rule of 'Survival of Fittest'! So in order to survive such persons need to have different moods with different people to fulfil the commitments and they plan many a things to earn money which makes the life miserable many a times and one ends up with lot of frustration and anger. To vent out the frustration and anger who else can be a better person than a spouse, as no body is going to listen him. So under some or other pretext your husband may be taking out his tensions by shouting at you. The excuse that he is suffering from constipation may be just a thing he wanted to say to express his displeasure, where as he may not be actually mean it! So in my opinion please act coolly and try to understand him, pacify him, try to give him ample of love and affection which is is in need right at this moment which he is desperately waiting to have it from you. I am sure the things will be different and you will feel the change in his personality. Such things are part and parcel of every one's life and these things are to be tackled in a matured way to accomplish the success in life to pass such unpleasant moments which are absolutely temporary in nature! Wish you all the best!
25 Jan 11
Dear Friend Suguwillu, Believe me at such time of crisis a sincere support from the spouse makes lot of difference.Please give a supporting shoulder to him and let him realise that you are acting as a support without saying anything about it! A good moral and emotional support can make wonders for a husband. I am a self made man and by the grace of the God I am very well placed with a grown up son who has become Engineer and started earning also. But let me tell you that I too had such situations several times with me and luckily it was the support of my wife, who basically is short tempered, I could reach to this position where I stand today.It is the patience and coolness she maintained at the time of crisis which helped me! So be cool and support your husband! I am sure within no time you will see that you have a nice time! remember after every dark night there is a lovely dawn! All the best! Thanks for your considering my response as the best one! I will be really happy if this response will bring some change in your life! I sincerely pray the Almighty to bless your family to have Peace and prosperity!
25 Jan 11
Thankyou. i spoke with him and one curious thing Happened. i must share it with you. as He came home for the Lunch he Got the call from His sister in-law asking me. My husband asked the reason and she said "anna had Green leaves porial with Chapathi was cooked by sugu, and was appreciating. so i want to ask her how she prepared it.' this made both of us Laugh so much and we compromised.
25 Jan 11
ok so I'm going to be blunt here, first off tell him to apologise to you for his very rude comment and secondly tell him to do all the cooking then! Also if it was you're cooking then you would both be suffering not just him. I hope you get this sorted out, it sounds more like he is a bit stressed and taking it out on you.